Being partnered with a math major, I am well aware that this is the real millennial New Year's Eve (according to this particular calendar, of course). Given this, and since December 31, 1999 was such a disappointment, this is the night I am going to have a huge party with lots of j-pop and dim sum.

The last day of the first year of the third millennium. I plan to be partying that night for sure. Though I'll probably be partying on the Internet.


A change from the usual staying-in-with-the-family, I plan to party with the best, as the adverts say, and go into town. Although Moby is playing at Edinburgh Castle, which would be a fantastic way to see in the New Year, I'm staying in Glasgow for the Merchant City Street Parties, which has dance, pop, salsa, world music and street performers. And with my friends, too.. (last year sucked)

On a bit of a downer, the weather forecast isn't looking all that great. I'm tryng not to let that spoil things..

Have a good one, everyone

notes for moments and omissions of day logs in the year 2000 which, through no fault of their own, never ended up getting entered at all:
    knifegirl is justly ranked foremost chronologically (and otherwise), but the passage of a year hasn't made finding the appropriate emotional states or the appropriate words for them any easier.


    following a properly-executed master-level beatbox performance, the microphone should be dripping wet.

    in a properly gender-balanced audience, it won't be the only thing.


    I have been taking care of a friend's pet lovebird, the charming orange/green Maxwell, for well on six months now and will be interminably, pending exchanges, travels and dorm life.

    Not a few weeks after accepting stewardship of him, I was distressed by what is now a common and accepted occurrence - his thinking that my fingers are foxy lady birds.

    This leads him to engaging in courtship displays, proving his excellence in providing food for young. Regrettably, this manifests in the form of his occasionally regurgitating birdseed on my hand when I reach in to say hello.


    My cousin emerged from the institution and wrote a four-page letter to my parents thanking them for the $20 they sent him for his birthday, urging that they save their souls before it's too late and asserting that "there is more proof that Jesus rose from the dead than that Napolean ever existed."

    I am troubled by the success, and wonder how long it would take for this nut to crack.


    I spent $40 on a print I sat next to in the Templeton and was immediately enamoured of:


    The artist seemed impressed by my m4d p14n0 pl4ying sk1llz when we met up in The Grind to enact the exchange, but deep down I could feel her probing me to ascertain exactly what type of creep I was. After all, who spends money on things like that?


    the dead will dance with what is left.

    I often pick up things I find on the street and mention them in my day logs, but I rarely hang them up on my wall.


    She stands on the eleventh-floor balcony of her West End apartment in the stark summer rays - before her, the vast blueth of False Creek. I catch something out of the corner of my eye - a flutter, a flap. A sheet of paper swooshes by at a tremendous clip, zig-zagging past the balcony and out of our frames of vision.

    She opens her notebook, calmly selects another sacrifice, cleanly tears it away from the binding, and releases the page to take flight.

    I demand to know what she's doing - after all, she has never allowed me to read any of her words, and at this rate there won't remain any for me to someday sneak through.

    The rejects, the unsuccessful exercises, the lines she dislikes or is ashamed of - they are being lain to rest in a ceremony not entirely unlike the seabound pyres of the Vikings, and even the lowliest lyric briefly comes to know the kiss of flight.

    ... except the funereal flights of these pages is anything but brief - a half-dozen lazily spiraling on their way to the ground catch a thermal and rise Lazarus-like to greet and pass us, flippantly floating over the roofs of adjoining complexes and disappearing, flecks of parchment in the pale blue...

    ... and I wonder what would happen if she ever allowed to fly those words that she felt actually contained merit.

    in our last episode... | p_i-logs | and then, all of a sudden...

We are flying from Sydney to Antarctica today, at 14:00. I'll be reading Marcus Aurelius for a while, until we see the first iceberg.

I'll node heavily after the 2nd, but now I just need a flat white and a taxi to the airport.

Nine days ago we visited him in the general hospital and looked at his once 6'2", now shrunken frame in the simple metal cot/bed. Although he looked like he would break at a touch, his bright eyes (still keen and quick with wit) were sharp as he lay without movement.

My dad and his sister visited with him like old times, but all I could do was gaze at his hair (he'd dyed it brown for so long, I wasn't used to the long white waves that lay on his pillow).

I noticed the conversations around me had ended and my grandfather had opened his mouth to speak. (I couldn't tell..was he going to say something? With his eyes on the wall, was he just thinking?) I began to think about what he must be pondering, contemplating there (with a weak body and strong mind).

He did open his mouth to speak:

"Life unfolds"

I wrote it on the pages of the book I'd been reading and I heard nothing else.

As we left the hospital I opened my copy of Franny and Zooey and read the words again.

life unfolds

And it scares me, just sitting here, knowing that I will easily forget this and other things, other people, and go on through the new year, and the following years..and then suddenly remember, after it is open and unfolded, how it happened all the while I wasn't watching.

In Loving Memory of
July 1910 - December 2001
would you walk over soft lines small worlds to find something more just to feel like less you can't exist without too many heads thrown together and i've often taken in a room simply wondered at so many lives colliding, sometimes connecting but always so oddly there.

i've walked through so many outcomes in the last little bit that i'm quite sure i'm completely prepared for anything that could happen, except what actually will happen.

social barriers.. or is that sociability barriers? i have a lot of them, i think, or everyone else does (not quite so likely). i seem to be able to talk easily with some people, and not at all with others, and i can usually tell which it will be within seconds of seeing them, or at least within the first few words past their lips.

i'm almost sure that the majority of what seem like issues for me could be solved easily enough with a simple brain removal.

i haven't really been on irc or e2 much as of late.. other things going on really, not at home right now.. don't know where 'home' will be when i get back, don't really know if i want to go back at all (actually i do know that, too, i would suppose).

i've been listening to leetle bits of 'magazine', a jump, little children album and i'm overly fond of a song entitled "all those days are gone". it's quite nice. the album throws me just a little though, the songs are so strikingly different or insane or soft and slow and seething in potent lyrical content. peculiar. i love it, though.. i do, i do.
Another year (millenium for the nit-pickers) and still no sign of cash. Well, fine - may I never forget that the important things in life don't have a price tag.
Things to do today:
  • no noding, no blogging, an all-out moratorium on the computer! (well, maybe just check my email...)
  • after the moratorium dies in the arse and a number of screen-glued hours have passed, start getting ready for tonight's party
  • lavish dinner with my best friends in the world, gift-giving (xmas for family, new year's eve for friends)
  • finish that bottle of fine irish whiskey
  • throw up in someone's front yard
  • node something stupid about it
here's to a good night! everyone, if you can't be good, be careful; if you can't be careful, for god's sake don't name it everything2.
Present Day....Present time....



End of 2000, Start 2001. Cue Thus Spake Zarathustra please. Well, what a year it's been. At the beginning of this year I was cynical and not very social. Now...well, in the course of 366 days I've become a more social person out in the big blue room, I've grown up a little as a noder, for that I would like to thank a great deal the editors and gods (namely dannye, dem bones, and hramyaegr). Plus I have found, to my delighted suprise, that for the first time in a long time, the girl I like a great deal is within my reach...

Two utterly different people...
...can they come together?

It's also been a year of going through that wonderful phase of childhood called "Self-knowing" other words, asking "Who am I and why the hell am I here?" Well, to be perfectly honest, I still don't know. But at least I'm not asking myself that question every 5 minutes now. At least I've figured out that this sort of knowledge doesn't come by bashing my brains out in search of answers. You figure it out as you go, piece by piece.

I have no idea *where* I'm going but I feel I'm on the right track...

Standing at the brink of the 2nd millenium and looking out to the 3rd, I feel that that I've still got a ways to go to make up for lost chances at socializing, all those years I never tried to talk to people, but that at least now I've put, as my friend Emily told me, "both feet in the door and have joined the party". It feels good to be there too. Wish me luck in the Year of the Monolith :P

-Matthew K. Adair

to Be continued...

In reflection of the year 2000, I've learned an enormous amount about what I want my future to look like. I've exorcised the marketing demon, and am clear now that I was born with an engineer's outlook, not a salesperson's shiny smile. I've notched up another good year with my lover. I've quite often noticed my breathing. I went to Japan for a solid vacation. I didn't do drugs, 'cept for alcohol. I found E2, I cooked a few good meals, I loved and was loved in return.

Tonight I'm thankful for my life. Gemma and I plan to ride our bicycles down to the lake and drink some very nice sauvignon blanc and enjoy each other's company, under the fireworks. Tomorrow is a new year.

My new year's resolution is to procrastinate less around personal matters -- to treat my own needs with as much attention and diligence as I do my work. Yeah, I'm happy with that.

Today kinda' sucked. I get my car back from the shop and 5 hours later it's dead again. Somehow my battery is now in bad shape. The snow isn't too bad so at least I get to go a New Year's party.

I watched the movie pi tonight by Darren Aronofsky. I thought it was pretty good, even though some of the math and computer related stuff made me shiver. Computers achieving self-awareness? Ri-ight...anywho... so I'm, like, watching this movie and there's this small part (character named Devi) played by an Indian girl. I keep thinking I've seen her before. Then in one scene the hero wakes up, gets mad, and rushes everyone out of his room. One of the people is a male Indian. I suddenly realize that Devi is the wife of the guy who runs the convenient store in the movie SubUrbia. And, hey, isn't that the guy who runs the store too??? Well, thanks to IMDB, it turns out it is. And even stranger, this pair has been in three movies together (the other is Aronofsky's Requiem for a Dream). What's up with that? I mean, I understand big stars working together a lot, but in at least the two movies I've scene these hardly even count as supporting roles. Strange. Maybe their just the two hardest working Indians in Hollywood.

Hope everyone has fun tonight, and has a good year or whatever. I plan on having a great year: getting a real job, getting married, getting an apartment or maybe a house... Wheee!!!

Well, happy new year's eve, and all that.

I'm toasty warm at kanon42's house again, having abandoned the freezing cold geekhouse. We've no heating oil, no money for heating oil, and a 40 foot driveway buried under more than four feet of snow -- thus making it impossible to even have heating oil delivered via a bad check (an option I've considered -- I really don't want the pipes to burst...)

The two hour drive to k's took five hours, but getting here was worth it. I am loved here. There's something really really wonderful about being accepted as family by your SO's family (the sisters, primarily...)

Donning a sweater fresh off the K-Mart rack and an early-morning visit from Dupis, I tore myself away from la computadora to answer the back door. After barely stomaching the stench of the in-need-of-being-emptied garbage I opened the door to see a fire-headed Irishman by the name of Mitchevious at my back door. By his side were Big Bad Dick Davie (BBDD) and Pat All That Rowan. The IMF trio set out to wreak havoc. Most of the reeking however was done by Dick Davie. First we went to Triple T's household but being the born heel he is, we found him absent due to a spontaneous ski trip (not a spontaneous somersault). Quickly we headed to Colburn Park to watch underaged snowboarders break their faces, backs, writsts, ankles, and other various extremities. Inspired by their sheer stupidity and vulnerability to our evil, we made the decision to go sledding. The almost too well-dressed Mitchevious proceeded to make the clutch decision of a Hot and Now trip prior to the sledding trip. Superior call on his part, needless to say. After buying seven dollars worth of pure artery-clogging glory, he gave us our chance. The worker said they had nothing else left. Dick Davie cried. We moved on to the Irish Farmhouse. It was quiet. A bit too quiet. But we ate nonetheless. BBDD and Rowan then began to shoot upon the less fortunate. Mitchevious's father to be more exact. This of course was not stood for by the aforementioned Irishman and he proceeded to cause chaos in their anal and or oral cavities. Finally we pulled ourselves together, got the sleds, and made our way to the park. Once there Mitchevious terrorized children whose years were not yet even in the double digits while their father laughed and pleaded with his children to sway them from our meglomaniacal evil. He stood no chance. We destroyed him. Then as Mitchevious was about to destroy his children the father pulled yet ANOTHER illegitamite child out of his pocket and sent her flying down at the ankles of Mitchevious. The bump was taken by the red-haired wonder. We went home with heads hung low. Yes, we were hung very low on that day...


The one year I actually have something fun to do on New Year's Eve, when I'm supposed to go down with some buddies and visit my friend Bryan at the University of Deleware, Mother Nature conspires to dump an entire foot of snow on my head.

I may go anyway. I'll go skidding all the way down the New Jersey Turnpike with by friends in tow, pointing a big middle finger at the sky the entire ride down.

Oh yeah, hotshot?


(Oh, and Happy New Year!)

Last day of the year 2000 and what have I learned? I guess the most important lesson is never peek at a restraunt's kitchen. Really. It's like looking behind the curtain at a magic show, only much, much more disgusting.

Had an argument with my father today. He said that I ought to get a job and I said that he ought to mind his own business and fuck off. As is so often the case, we are both right. Read the second Harry Potter book. Someone sent it to me in html. I tried to grommet mount my hard drives in my new computer (because it's really fucking loud which is sometimes okay -- when I want to hear a lot of white noise or industrial music -- but not usually because I have fairly acute hearing), but now that I've got grommets in my hard drive bay, I can't fit any of the drives back in. Oh, fucking good job, eric+. So my computer is off. Well, that's quieter at any rate.

Went to see Cast Away with my sister and her fiance. Movie theater popcorn makes me sick, yet, somehow, it's also addictive, isn't it? Anyhow I thought it (the movie) was okay. I don't understand why Tom Hanks tries to break up Helen Hunt's marriage after he gets back. Ingrate. My sister paid for my ticket, though, so why should I complain?

Right now it's cold where I am. The weather, I mean. I suppose it's cold all over America, seeing as it's winter and all. Anyhow, days like today make me glad that I have a laptop (albeit a cheap and flimsy one) because it means I can work and play on the internet from the comfort and warmth of my bed. Except that when I do that, my back hurts. Bad posture, I suppose.

My mom got me a membership to a gym for Christmas. Is that insulting? I haven't quite decided. I'm looking at myself in the mirror and thinking, well, I'm not a fat bastard just yet. Proactive. Maybe that's all it is.

I wonder who won Junkyard Wars. I saw it last week, but missed it on Thursday.

Well, let's see what happens next millenium.

Damn, I ought to think of some New Year's Resolutions.


So much has happened to me this year. This has to be the best year of my life so far. I started out this year with a very boring life - my daily routine was work, sleep, repeat. I was afraid of even talking to women. I was sleeping away nearly all of my free time; I was depressed. I was gaining weight and wasting my life.

I made some friends at work who took me to a strip club. I was terrified to go; but it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I got to know a cute asian girl (Kawana) who dances there, and she helped break me out of my shell. We would spend an hour or two talking every time I was there, and it helped me to be comfortable with talking to those people who lack a Y chromosome.

This was about the time I started on e2, and started doing my daylogs. My first daylog was actually written as a result of my first experience with Kawana. She was the first person I have ever asked out on a date, even though she very nicely turned me down. That helped me get past that fear as well.

e2 has also helped me to come to understand social conventions and to better know how to deal with people. Reading other people's daylogs gives me an understanding of how everyone deals with life and others, and this has helped me to see how a variety of people think and behave, so I know what to expect of others.

When I started doing my daylogs, I decided I was going to node everything that I was thinking and feeling, no matter how sappy or pathetic it sounded. This has helped me to be more honest about myself. This honesty has spilled over into my daily life and has made communication flow much easier with others. I felt that since I am accepted here for being honest, I can be confident about speaking honestly in real life as well. My daylogs also help me keep a clear track record in my mind about what I have done and what I plan to do. Just taking the time to think about this stuff and put it into words through the keyboard helps me to remember.

This year also was the first time I have been out on a date. My friends set me up with Sara (who I had just met a week before) for the christmas party. I had a great time and really enjoyed every aspect of just being close to someone, even if just for a short period of time. I am still trying to find out if she came along with me just to go to the party or if she has any interest in me. Either way, I learned a lot from that experience.

And just before this life-changing year could end, I had the new experience last night of a very attractive and athletic young lady coming over and starting a conversation with me while at the gym. After years of being used to people avoiding me, it was silently shocking to me that an attractive stranger would come up to me and want to know something about me.

Other things I've accomplished this year:

Summary of new experiences this year:

Well, the day and the year are not over yet. If everything goes as planned, I will probably be going down to South Beach tonight for the new year's eve party. I'll be back later to write on how that went.

3:21AM 2001

South Beach was nice. Most of the buildings were built back in the 50's or were built to look that way at least. We all hung around a small bar named Zeak's for an hour until around 11:30, then we went over to the beach and had some champagne and watched the fireworks at midnight. I got hugs and kisses from the ladies, even though I've never met any of them before tonight. :)

Afterwards, we stopped by a bar/pool hall, where I got to see some interesting people. We stopped over at a pizza joint named Deno's which had good pizza and awesome garlic rolls.

I've never driven so far south before... I imagine it can be quite easy to get lost, but I didn't. There were freeway exits that ramped over a hundred feet up in the air. I followed TC most of the time, except when we got to a toll booth on 195 and I didn't have exact change, so I had to wait and they had to pull over and let me catch up.

I played two games of pool in a team with TC's boyfriend... We lost the first game, but I made a couple of good shots. We won the second game when the other team accidently shot the 8-ball in.

Well, there's not much more to say about tonight. I had a good time and a few new minor experiences.

To everyone here on e2: Thank you for your votes of encouragment and for sharing your knowledge and experiences. You all have helped me a great deal. Take care, and Happy New Year.

...Day Logs for December 31 and January 1 are the most popular, but remember...

...New Years resolutions are false ambition...

Face it people, just be honest with yourselves for once. A day passing on a calender that really has no relevance is not going to change you life. If you don’t have the courage to just jump into something in the middle of the year, you won’t have the dedication to keep to vague resolutions like ”Get fit” or ”Be a better person” past February 1, 2001. After Christmas I noticed kids on every street riding their new scooters, destined to become garage fodder in a year. After New Years I always notice the inexperienced joggers, chugging down the street looking like they are just about to keel over and die, any minute now. I respect people who decide to burn a few extra pounds off their ass, but for people who just resolve because of a date on a calender, wake up and quit wasting your time.

365 Tomorrows...

...goodbye 2000

New Years Resolutions I Kept, 2000

  • I redecorated my bedroom.
  • I lost weight.

    New Years Resolutions I Didn't Keep, 2000

  • I didn't quit smoking.
  • I didn't dump someone when I should have.
  • I didn't make money in the stock market.

    New Years Resolutions for 2001

  • I resolve to return to college.
  • I resolve to quit smoking. (a perennial fave!)
  • I resolve to paint my bedroom.
  • I resolve to regain that which was lost.

    To all fellow everythingians ... Have a Happy and SAFE New Year's Eve revel!
  • the hours never caused a stirr so why should i wait on the changing of the year to bring around new, more mature ambitions? someone commented on my lack of exicitement for the new year and i thought, "if the world could change me like it did the nomenclature of the year, perhaps i might show more enthusiasism for this night;" however, i simply nodded and shrugged my head, apathetic to my own thoughts.

    and maybe i should place more faith in the days than in people. i've never seen the sun forget to set or the moon attack me out of ill-will or unsettled revenge. winter has set in for what seems like forever, and the price of gas has just doubled. i'd call someone to take me out, out of this faithless drought, but it's apparant that no one cares.

    pain is the one thing i've never lost faith in.

    (happy new year.)

    p_i and seanni and hacker joe and zarah helped me move yesterday. ut. is good. my new place is so big. my cat seems to like it. it's freshly painted, so I'm a little scared to put smurf poo on the walls, thus my walls remain unpostered and bland. big big so much space. I don't know if it's the newness or the smell of drying latex paint, but I have been having very vivid dreams here. I like that too. I'm thinking of getting a second kitty to keep tobycat company in the day while I'm at work. I haven't decided yet.

    I just lit my first candle here. The flame is burning strong and does not die in the wind. I feel good about it.

    And now, off to p_i's new year's party for lonely persons. I'll report back.

    I'm noding this five months too late, but I figured it was the best place to put this. First, what I did for New Year's:

    A bunch of us from the college I never really went to gathered in Rochester, NY, where we had planned to continue our voyage back to the college I never really went to. Instead, we wound up staying the weekend at the house of a SO of a sister of a SO of a friend. It was a Puerto Rican household, which made the whole weekend have a rather Latin feel to it. They were amazingly hospitable, and insisted they stay with us the whole weekend. It was fun, if rather bizzare. Key highlights:

    • Salsa dancing. I didn't know I could actually move my hips.
    • Fawning over Johnny Depp with the girls (I was the only guy in the whole place.)
    • Getting really drunk and discussing sexuality with the lesbians, the other lesbians, and the sister of one of the other lesbians. Sexuality is fun!
    • Holding her hand. I really am not quite sure how it happened, exactly. One minute, I'm discussing the problems with using drugs to fix common depression, and the next, she's holding my hand and kinda leaning on me. Of course, nothing really came of it, but it was cool, anyway.
    • I think my friends may have been trying to set me up with her; they sorta put me next to her when we slept that night. But hey, we were all there, and I was half-drunk, so it's not like anything was going to happen...

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