So when my mother was a child, her mother and father were working all the time... consequently they required a nanny of sorts to aid in the care of their eleven children. Just so happens a friend of my grandmothers was a catholic priest, Father Beckman, and in his good-natured catholic ways decided to take on the task. Through the decades he has remained a member of the family and friend to all.
As long as I can remember untill a few years ago we would spend Christmas at a retreat center at which Father Beckman resided. Me and a cousin of mine (Pammy, who is one month and one day younger than me) had always been of a rather curious destuctive persuasion. At one of these Christmas retreats pammy and I had slipped away during a mass. Before any parental units had noticed we had flooded the rectory with holy water and went on dumping incense in the several inch deep water. A blaspherific time as far as I can one else thought it was too great. between this incedent and flunking out of CCD,

-" come on Matt, "_ _ _ loves you..." you know this one...three letters"
-"Ummm, Mom...uh...Dad.......Dog?"
-"Get out of my class."

I imagine God made up his mind long ago on me.

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