A wonderful device can be made by tying a sturdy rubber band to the end of a pen. Then you slice a fresh new crisp business card cleanly in two across its short axis, and launch one of the halves with the pen/rubber band device. With practice, a range of forty or fifty feet can be achieved. On impact, these things hurt. Do not shoot anybody who won't laugh it off! Blood has been drawn in this manner. Not much, but a little. This should only be done after marketing has gone home for the evening.

I have found that Cubicle sniping, while an excellent way to maintain the proper office atmosphere, has one major drawback. Occasionally, lusers who do not understand the gestalt get involved, and won't stop when asked politely. Usually, "Hey, gimme a half hour, this fscking thing almost compiles" will bring an immediate (albeit quite temporary) cease-fire. However, as I said, every once in a while, there's someone who has to prove something.

Solution: I brought my paintball gun to the office, where it is mounted over my PC. There's no ammo in it, but there's a live air tank on it, and anyway, they don't know it's empty. After the first time I have to use it, it won't be.

I am the Cubicle Sniper. All I need is a laser sight...hmm...got a pointer here...(checks for Cybertool...)

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