CrushLink

I recently received email with the subject "Somebody has a crush on you," and I checked it out. It turns out it leads to this site called CrushLink (http://www.CrushLink.com is how the link was in the message). I was very disappointed in the result. The site, in essence, was basically the equivalent of a warez or porn site that tried to get you to click on ad banners and register for affiliate programs the site was signed up for. Basically, I was spammed. I don't like that, even if someone I know supposedly (and probably unknowingly) sent it to me. I like to write letters to people of power, so I wrote this email message, and sent it to them:

I would just like to say that your website, CrushLink, has brought the standards of the Internet to a new all-time low. The pitiful act of spamming people by having their friends unknowingly send them annoying email is something I haven't seen in my 7 years of Internet usage, and I'm saddened by the fact that I had to experience it at all.

I mean really; there's such thing as business models, and there such thing as unintelligent scams. Guess what I consider CrushLink? Can you seriously not think of a better way to capitalize on the Internet than by providing "hints" to people concerning their "Crush"es via CoolSavings.com registrations? I mean really. It's sad.

If I may, I would like to give you some advice on how to make money on the Internet. Seeing CrushLink, I believe I am definitely in a place to be able to do so. I work at an Internet company that creates business-to-business based web applications for mainly Chicago businesses. We use all open source technologies and experienced programmers to produce websites for our clients that actually increase their productivity and profitability. I advise that you scrap the scam idea and attempt to do the same. It's not hard.

The Internet is a glowing network of morons that are looking to spend their money. Let them give it to you, as opposed to taking it.

<Sarcasmo>
Chicago, IL

If a reply comes, I'll be sure to add it below.

Crushed.
I, too, have fallen victim to the mass marketing spam scam known as crushlink. Feeling somewhat the irascible combination of vulnerable and cocky, I was willing to suspend my disbelief and actually believe that someone or something would have a crush on me and then deign to broadcast it via the internet.

Fearing a virus, I clicked on the link anyway. When I saw that this manipulative hook was merely a way to get one to supply the names and email addresses of all one's close friends and potential lust objects, I still wasn't convinced it was a sham, but neither was I willing to stoop to entering those precious names. No, instead I chose to contact several choice friends via email, demanding to know which joker sent me this shit.

No positive replies, only puzzlement.

I decided to do a search on the crushlink beast, and found that I am but a pawn, one of many who have suffered humiliation at the hands of corporate america. Why does this travesty continue to be perpetrated? Well, simply put: because we are vulnerable, lost lonely beings looking for love in all the wrong places.

Someone has a crush on me.

At least, crushlink.com tells me so. This is that new dotcom system where you type in the e-mail addresses of everyone you have a crush on, and then the computer stores that and if the person that that e-mail address types in your e-mail address, then it'll tell you it's a match.

Then, it takes every single one of those e-mail addresses that you gave it and immediately e-mails those people to tell them that they have a crush waiting for them, too. It's a sly MLM scheme to get people to return to the web site again and again to look at ads.

One big problem: I have about a dozen primary e-mail addresses, and so do three-quarters of the people I know. When I hit the two-thousandth contact in my Palm Pilot, sites like CrushLink simply weren't practical anymore (as if they were before...). So, um, hi. Whoever you people are, please just send me a damn e-mail. Don't hide behind sites that I won't be able to get any use out of anyway.

And you'd better hurry, I just got an e-mail from a HOT SEXXXY COED that wants to get to know me better. With all these e-mails coming in, I must be in high demand.