So I went to the store and brought home a whole bunch of shit, dumped it into a bowl, and out came crab salad. This was the first time I had ever made such a concoction, so before we get into the details on how to make my version, let me make sure it's edible first. Hang on a second.

Mmmmmmm.

Right. As I was saying, crab salad is OLD HAT to me. Anyway, here's how to make some.

DUMP IT ALL IN A BOWL. MIX. EAT.

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