Cool as Ice: An E2 gathering on the slopes of Salt Lake City

According to my reliable sources, I can’t find a single gathering that has taken place in our great state. This must be changed.

Saturday, January 4, 2003 in Salt Lake City, Utah

I declare these games open . . .

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The plan, as it stood: Saturday, January 4th, we will start early. We are going to go skiing at Canyons, because basically it kicks ass and we hadn't been there yet. I have a car that can sit 7 people, so if any more than that decide on coming then I'll either make two trips from my house, or we'll meet there. I'll be carrying my cell phone on me during the day.

• Meet at 8:30am at my house if you want a ride to Canyons. (8576 S. Six Shooter Circle, Sandy) Call for directions

Whenever we get tired of skiing/snowboarding, we'll take the short drive back to my place and cook up some tasty stirfry, drink some tasty beverages, fooseball it up, and generally revel in our own nerdly endevours.

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Skiing, debauchery, and Stir Fry! What more can you ask? Oh yeah, and Mr. Frog is gonna be there.
bow chica bow bow

About skiing: Yes, skis and snowboards are perfectly kosher, but if I so much as see a single ski-blade, well, you just don't want to force the issue.

What:
You ask what? I ask what not! I mean, um, it’s gonna be cool. This gathering is going to be a double threat deal. During the day we will go to one of the many fabulous skiing establishments in the Salt Lake Area, such as Snowbird, Alta (if everyone skis), Snow Basin, etc. There we will scare ourselves silly on the black diamonds, drink some overpriced hot chocolate, and generally revel in our merry making abilities. The second part of the gathering will take place at my humble abode, where we will have food (whatever we can rustle up) and some tasty beverages, along with whatever escapades come to us. If you don’t ski, come for the party afterwards, and if you don’t party, well, I really don’t want to hang out with you.

When:
I’m thinking January 4th, which is a Saturday. This date will be set in stone when I start hearing things from people that aren't imaginary. If you want you can show up on friday, stay the whole weekend and leave on Sunday, thus giving yourself the maximum party+ski timeframe.

Where:
These adventures will take place in one of the ski areas in the Salt Lake City area, and my house in Sandy, which is just a little bit of a drive south from downtown. If you don’t know where Salt Lake City is, then you need to spend some quality time with a map.

Why:
Um, cause I like to ski and party? Oh yeah, and E2 is pretty darn spiffy.

How:
Most likely through the use of planes, trains, and automobiles. Sleeping wise, my house has LOTS (when I say lots, I mean lots) of couches, beds, and comfy floor space.

Definitive list of the cool cats that will be showing up:
Bacon the Rambler (host)
Mr. Frog (host)
FalseTile (host)
SkiBum5
Capone
ex0teric

People who might be showing up (or showed a smidgen of interest):
edebroux can't come (boo!)
Chihuahua Grub (waiting for his jet skates)
dann is gonna be 10 days late! oh my!
Oeq1st1
rischi needs to check his planner
conform
Akasha and some friends
Garryn

More news as events warrent . . .

And so the gathering began. Our weary adventurers gathered to set off on an amazing adventure. It was to be a tale of intrigue, mystery, and corruption that went all the way to the top: the Mayor of the town. Their journeys would take them to Hell and back, only to return and have more killing to do, and more puzzles to solve. A wise cleric, an acrobatic elf, and a charismatic but dim-witted half-orc....

But enough about our Dungeons and Dragons game. How about the aftermath of Cool as Ice. Let's try this again.

The town was Salt Lake City. The time was New Years of 2003. Noders had come from far and wide to witness what could only be described as sheer madness. They traveled to Salt Lake City from as far north and east as Pittsburgh, PA. Still, another made the trip from as far south and west as Salt Lake City. It wasn't before long that the tiny hamlet of Sandy, Utah was introduced to our heros, the trio of Bacon the Rambler, Mr. Frog, and FalseTile.

They Came, They Saw, They Rocked the Fucking Mountain

It all began in the Salt Lake City airport. Our dreadlocked and hawaiian shirted friends, Mr. Frog and FalseTile, received a multitude of stares from shocked airplane passengers everywhere. Some wondered why they would be wearing ski goggles on their trip to Maui. Still others were curious as to why Mr. Frog would want to fit a person into his massively oversized bag. Soon our jetlagged travelers were out of the airport and onto the first of many trips to a very familiar intersection known to house a McDonald's.

Extreme Skiing began as onlookers watched as Mr. Frog and FalseTile threw themselves off enormous cliffs. The trio would set off to tackle the mountain, and tackle it they did...literally. Who could forget when Mr. Frog lawn darted off the ridge to land right into a gorge of sharp rocks. FalseTile managed to invent a new way of skiing. His trip down a double black entirely on his back was most impressive. But it wasn't all fun and games when the mountain started playing hardball. Mr. Frog broke every bone in his body and had to learn to walk again after a brutal alpine assult (just kidding). However, Bacon the Rambler turned out to be the king of the ski slopes. What can only be described as vengeance for the vicious attacks on Mr. Frog, Bacon saw to it that the mountain paid. He single handedly showed the moguls who's boss as he made an astounding diving tackle on a mogul. But the carnage wouldn't end there. In order to kick the mountain when it was down, Bacon bodyslammed the mountain with a spectacular face plant.

The heros escapades weren't all on the slopes. Bacon the Rambler and Mr. Frog reached new heights as they climb the numerous mountains of the Wasatch. FalseTile overcame obstacles to scale the same bluffs three times over. With snow on the ground, cross country skiers amongst us, FalseTile conquered the rocks with boots, then barefoot, and finally with his own climbing shoes.

It wasn't before long that our trio ended up in downtown Salt Lake City to be greeted by the Mountain Man of the Rockies. After swordfighting in the streets on their way to the ZCMI food court, our heros headed to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints at Temple Square. Our Catholic and Atheist crew had come upon Sister Long and her Mormon brethren. Armed with a digital camera and a sick sense of humor, the trio began taking pictures to commemorate the trip downtown.

Back in their humble abode, our travelers would engage in massive Go and Foosball tourneys, as well as Dungeons and Dragons quests thought up by noble Dungeon Master Monty. Entertainment was provided by a seemingly endless string of Jack Nicholson movies and the musical stylings of Klemont Avenue featuring Mr. Frog himself.

....cleric, elf, and half-orc charged into fortified bunkers killing off the minions of evil. Eventually were in the Hall of the Necromancer. They met the infamous evil leader, Niatar, the being responsible for the exploits of this daring gang. With weapons drawn they attacked their most worthy opponent for what seemed to be an eternity. The orc and cleric bashed Niatar unrecognizable before the elf put on the final blow to rid the town of the evil that had befallen her for the past five years. Our hero's charge completed, they traveled back to their respective homes to gather another day.

With the conclusion of our wildly exaggerated story, the noders in attendance would like to thank Segnbora-t for her terrifically timed postcard. Also, the sincerest condolences to SkiBum5 who had an unfortunate accident and could not make an appearance to our gathering.