The French love Jerry Lewis.

French children and French film critics love Jerry Lewis. Other people don't care, or they think he is a blues singer. There is an excellent explanation at http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a991001.html.

They eat things that shouldn't be eaten: frogs, snails, horses, etc (seen in That's Why I Hate the French)

Horse meat tastes good. Frogs and snails taste like chicken.

The French eat cheese.

Well... yes. "How can one conceive of a one party system in a country that has over 200 varieties of cheese?" (Charles de Gaulle)

The French are rude.

Tourists are a renewable resource in France. Whether we are polite or not, they will come anyway. So why should we bother?

French people have body odor.

MacDonald's restaurants have food odor.

The French don't speak English. When they do, they have a terrible accent.

Il paraît que de moins en moins d'Américains apprennent une langue étrangère à l'école. C'est assez inquiétant. Lorsque les Etats-Unis perdront leur suprématie, dans quelques décennies, ils ne pourront même plus sortir de leur pays.

The French will not speak English even if they can.

The ones I know, on the contrary, are glad to show how smart they are by taking any chance to show that they speak (more or less correctly) another language.

The French are arrogant.

The British are more arrogant than the French. When you come to London from Paris by train, what is the name of the train station in London? Waterloo Station (you know what Waterloo is, don't you?) That is arrogance.

The French surrender easily to the enemies

Well... yes. Most countries in continental Europe surrender to and invade their neighbours very often.

They consider themselves the world's best lovers

French people don't consider themselves love specialists. Foreigners consider French people love specialists, or they consider that the French consider themselves love specialists.

The French drive like lunatics

Well... yes. On the other hand, French pedestrians walk like lunatics. There is a war in Paris between pedestrians and cars. It's so boring to cross the street when the little man is green. See How to cross the road in Europe.

The French blew a Greenpeace ship up.

Well... the government did. Then they lied about it for a few weeks, and eventually fired one of the ministers.

French movies are boring.

Films you don't see are always boring.

There are nude scenes in French movies

Well... yes. A few mainstream movies even feature pornographical scenes nowadays.

French food is good.

Well... yes.

French people take a lot of time for lunch.

See above.

French people kiss everywhere in the street.

Well... foreign tourists kiss everywhere in the streets because they think this is what you do when you are in Paris.

French people are late at meetings

Well... Time is money, but money is not that important, is it?

There are laws about French-music quotas in radio broadcasts, and about using French in advertisements.

Well... yes.

France would be a nice country if French people didn't inhabit it.

That's an old joke, really. Funny, but old. But funny.

Hollywood's France

According to American movies:

Every appartment or hotel room in Paris has a breathtaking view of the Eiffel Tower.

Some of them only have a view on the Sacré-Coeur. Or both.

France consists of Paris, the French Riviera, and nothing else.

Very few films will show other parts of France than the capital and what the French call Côte-d'Azur (Blue Coast).

French waiters and tradesmen can speak English

... but they still say common expressions in French: "Bonjour monsieur", "pardon", "s'il vous plaît", "c'est la vie", etc. These words happen to be the only ones the American tourist knows in the movie.

French people wear a béret, walk with fresh bread and a bottle of wine in their arms.

I almost forgot that one.

As we proved at Agincourt and Waterloo, a good kicking on their gallic derrieres is the only language the greedy frogs understand. (Daily Star, March 1998)

About the author...

mblase says: The French start their sentences with "Well..." an awful lot, too. :-)

Well... Err... yes.

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