I don't know why anyone would want to eat a triangular chip. They are, simply put, the devil. There is no good reason for one to eat triangular chips, yet the evil corporation Doritos has masked the public's opinion with clever advertising for years. The reason? Money. Chips are money. And where there is money, there is power.

Consider, if you will, the concept of the triangular chip. Three sharp sides, each with their own deadly edge. These sharp ends become particularly dangerous when one attempts to fit the entire chip into one's mouth. Experienced chip connoisseur know that to correctly and safely eat a triangular chip, one must bite the chip in such a fashion that it fits into the mouth. This produces a sonorous crunch, much like the smashing of bones. It is very irritating to those around the chip eater. The superior circular chip is contoured perfectly to the dimensions of the human mouth. It bears no sharp edges, and the general structure is versatile enough to safely be broken into smaller pieces for smaller mouths. The crunching sound made by the breaking of a circular chip is much less noticeable than that of a triangular chip.

Circular chips also come in a wide variety of flavors and types. While most triangular chips are limited to corn composition, circular chips come in corn, flour, and even potato. The uncommon triangular flour chips are inferior in design. Often touted as "dipping chips", these chips are weakly composed of a flour mixture, sharpening the edges and causing the bits to break off into the dip. It is not uncommon for one to have bits of chip stuck under one's gum after a fiesta at their local Mexican restaurant. As for potato triangular chips, they're virtually unheard of.

The wide range of manufacturers catering the circular chip market provide a wider range of flavors, uses, and prices than those of the triangular chips. Doritos are often overpriced, the average bag costing over 60 cents more than a typical circular chip bag.

Clearly, triangular chips are inferior in design, function, and overall safety to the circular chip. Like the wheel, one of man's greatest inventions, the circular chip surpasses its competitors with sheer engineering genius. Its design has endured the test of time. Few triangles have performed such feats. I don't know why anyone would want to eat a triangular chip.

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