The ultimate in chocolate: sweeter than Chocolate Decadence, more creamy than Chocolate Torture, richer than Death by Chocolate, this cake is illegal in most countries and so consumed only in highly-secretive private chocolate clubs in Europe (some have been rumored in Latin America,Southeast Asia, and some say, Dubai as well). While the recipe for this confection is a closely-guarded secret, those who have eaten it uniformly report that this is the greatest chocolate dessert ever.

To eat this dish in a chocolate club, one must put one's name on a waiting list, which may take up to a year. The club's chocolatier will meet with you to determine the optimum chocolate varietals, or blend thereof, that will go into your dessert. (Some connoisseurs have been known to specify plantation, processor, and conching details as well). If and when your number comes up, you will be advised of your chocolate arriving at the club. The club's president will refer you to the Club doctor who will assess whether you are healthy enough for this experience: deaths have been recorded from amateurs trying to duplicate the recipe at home, with the risk of unseemly bingeing. As for preparation, many diners have been known to go to a spa or other retreat in order to put themselves in the right frame of mind. The choice of dinner companion will be discussed, and thoroughly vetted by the Club President. Three days before, the diner is advised to eat lightly, and to get plenty of rest. Final details are now worked out between the diner, the chocolatier, and the pastry chef in charge of the non-chocolate elements, which may or may not include specialty flavorings, such as wasabi, violet essence, caviar (much loved by partisans of molecular cuisine) or various chemical enhancers.

On the day of the dessert, the diner will enter the club at six on the dot, and, unless this is a members-only event, whisked to a private dining room with special furnishings for the experience. A special Pedophile dinner will have been prepared, its sole object, to fill the diner's 'more gross' appetites, and to prepare their taste buds; if the companion is not a Club member, or similar, they will have a distinctly different menu.

At last, the dessert will be ready. Served from a cart, with the Club cooking team, and the Club doctor in attendance, the dish is placed on the table. As is usual for these culinary events, the first forkful is applauded by the team, after which the couple is left alone.

Orgasm occurs not once, but several times over the course of eating this dessert, followed by rapid unconsciousness. Aftercare usually entails at least two weeks of detox in a special facility in Switzerland, plus several months of therapy to assuage the lingering feelings of guilt and shame.

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