My Two Cents
Cen was a Censor Sensor Senser--that is, he sensed sensors that sensed Censors. The central powers shelled out shillings for Cen, who sensed the sensors and disassembled them silently. The townspeople were incensed at this senseless abuse of privacy, for surely everyone should be able to sense censors, it's constitutional!
"Censure Cen!" cited the citizens.
"Save me!" Cen screamed.
"Save yourself, sir!" spoke a surly citizen.
"Perhaps I'll shoot myself," Cen sighed, "the life of a Censor Sensor Senser is a sad life, indeed. At least the central government gives me satchels of shillings."
A stone slammed into Cen's chest.
"Say, that smarts! Stop this incessant harassment!" Cen hissed.
"We shall not stop, unless you signal your surrender! Censure Cen!"
"Censure Cen!" The citizens shouted in unison.
"I shall not surrender, my specialty sustains my starving household! I support seven children!" Cen protested.
"Save us your speech, you slime! We share no sympathy for those such as you!"
Just then, several citizens started to encircle Cen.
"I see shadows for you, Cen." A soothsayer solemnly prophesyed.
Cen slumped silently to the sand as the citizens closed in. Surely this was the end, surely none would rescue a man such as he!
Cen sucked in a nervous breath as citizens' fists clenched and raised skyward.
"Stop this madness!" A resounding voice requested. "I shall not stand for such injustice!"
The citizens, startled, all stumbled away from Cen.
"Sir, Mr. President, sir! You've saved me!" Cen rejoiced, tears of joy streaking down his face. "A second sooner and I'd have surrendered!"
"Save your praise, citizen; this is simply a standard of principle."
The president then sent his secret service to secure the seditious citizens who sought the censure of Cen, and censured them instead.
"Cen, please stop being so careless," Mr. President scolded, "the surest way to sense censor sensors is in the safety of darkness. Make sure this incident does not surface again."
"Yes, sir!" Cen saluted.
Suddenly, just as swiftly as he made entrance, the President and his secret service vanished. Cen sighed in relief; surely he would exercise more caution in the future. With such strong allies, no citizen should ever dare censure this Censor Sensor Senser!