This is an original recipe that I pulled together at the last minute, from whatever was in my mother's refrigerator. Feel free to make substitutions or use your own leftovers.


1 pre-made pie crust, already rolled into a perfect circle, leftover from Thanksgiving, expired

2 individually frozen wild salmon fillets (remove plastic)

8 eggs, four white, four brown

organic Havarti cheese with mold scraped off

2 slices yellow American cheese (my Mother's cheese of choice)

approximately 2 inches or 2 tablespoons of Parmesan cheese

one-half cup of 1% milk, plus 4 dollops of fat-free cottage cheese

2 withered green scallions, cleaned up and sliced

Adobo seasoning, ancient dried parsley, and paprika even older

I could only find one small, shallow pie pan so I placed the pre-made crust in it and got creative with the edges, very similar to clay pieces I've made. Think of sensual small waves or fractal curves.

Place the frozen salmon into the pie pan, right on top of the crust. Mix all the other ingredients together and pour over the salmon. Protect the crust with aluminum foil. Bake at 350 degrees until done, about 35 to 45 minutes. Then pray.

I think I served this with salad and garlic bread. This is great for a high protein-eating crowd, cleaning out the fridge, or if you know someone who thinks every Friday is fish night, even though The Roman Catholic Church changed that around the same time they declared Limbo not real.

***Please note: I am highly irreverent and mean no disrespect to any Catholic readers. The title came up in a conversation re: The Chopstick Diet and "Catholic Fish" was suggested as a recipe and/or good band name.

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