I'm convinced that a whimsical God has given book-store employees a slightly warped sense of humor. Walk around your local bookstore for a bit, letting your eye roam and actually reading the titles you skim by. I think you'll start to understand what I mean.

In the self-help section, there is a small display of "... for Dummies" books, assembled with loving attention by a down-and-out psychology major. We've got Italian Cooking for Dummies sandwiched between Diabetes and Dieting. Fishing, Grilling, Bartending, and Nutrition share a row, while Dog Training and Potty Training share space with Sex for Dummies. Then, of course, there are the one-liners1: Windows for Dummies, Law School for Dummies, Christianity for Dummies.

I'll say it again.

Christianity for Dummies.

Nearby is a shelf devoted to photography; K.I.S.S. Digital Photography is next to a pre-teen girl posed on the cover of Posing Guide for Photographers and something titled Publishing your photos on the Internet. Below them all is an inexplicable biography of Hillary Rodham Clinton, which deeply troubles my soul2.

In New Age, a copy of the Marijuana Grower's Handbook3 winks coyly at me from a bottom shelf. To it's left, The Pokemon Trading Card Game; to the right, a 2004 Harry Potter Calendar. A second copy lurks behind the Love Voodoo Kit, while a third sits next to Astral Projection: Getting the Mind out of the Body. Wow.

Somewhere, a lonely pedophile with no respect for hippies is rolling a joint, and laughing maniacally. Rock on.

 

  1. Obviously, i'm a Linux-using atheist with no respect for lawyers.
  2. Speaking of biographies, a copy of Women of Hollywood propped up on an empty shelf catches my eye. The books propping it up? Bitch and Slut. Ouch.
  3. There were an astounding 7 copies in my tiny local bookstore. Wow.

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