Be gentle with me.
I laugh aloud at the absurdity
of his words. I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts, so hard that I suddenly realize that I'm not laughing afterall
, my cheeks are wet and I'm crying almost hysterically. Be gentle with me
, he says, as I hold my near broken heart
out in my swollen hands. He looks away, not even noticing, off in the distant towards a world
he's never allowed me to enter. Be gentle with me
, as he looks at me from under his eyelids and for a moment my balance is thrown off and I think I just may fall. His hands reach out
and he's about to catch me in his strong arms. He's about to hold me close to him, but I somehow find myself sitting on the floor
with my legs bruised up instead.
Be gentle with me
, he said.
I've been silently screaming
those words at him for years.