The cuisine at this Upper West Side delicatessen is one of the greatest gifts Jewish Culture has brought to mankind since the ten commandments.

The New Yorker, August 5, 1996 "Table for Two" Column

As old-time New Yorkers die off or retire to far-away locales, it seems that City restaurants which once were institutions get the urge to change something about themselves that perhaps will make them appeal to the yuppies in the short-term. But then the thing backfires and yet another venerable place either closes or becomes a caricature of itself.

Not so Barney Greengrass's. Since 1908, little has changed about this place that purveys what could best be described as "Soul Food for Jews." One certainly need not be Jewish to eat there, however. A visit there recently with a British expatriate and a young lady of Taiwanese birth proved it.

This delicatessen with a tiny restaurant attached hasn't changed in all the years I've been going there. And I'd hazard a guess that it hasn't changed much since before World War II. Walk inside and it's like walking back in time. The display cases and refrigerators all look ancient, but are pristinely cleaned and kept looking new. The ceiling of patterned tin, and the utilitarian light fixtures evoke an even earlier time. The tiles on the floor are worn from the shoe leather of a century of hungry patrons. The restaurant portion consists of 11 tables; 4 for two, 2 for six, and the rest for four persons. A peculiar mural decorates the wall. It has nothing, nothing at all to do with either the culture or the cuisine. The tables are ancient Formica, the chairs utilitarian. The plates are that heavy, heavy restaurant ware that one rarely sees in this age of Corelle (thin restaurant china) and artistically-shaped square, triangular, and crescent-moon shapes.

What's most delightfully peculiar about this place is that there's something for everyone there. The menu is probably the wildest in New York. One in need of a "nosh;" Yiddish for "snack" or "light meal" can sit down and order a Gefilte Fish appetizer, complete with either a bagel or bialy, garnished with onion, tomato (ripened to perfection) and beet-colored horseradish for $6. A bowl of Matzoh Ball Soup is $3.75 and a cup of tea $1.75. So $12 ain't the cheapest lunch in New York but a taste proves that you're in the right place.

On the other end of the pricing spectrum is the house specialty, "The Deluxe Platter for Two" includes samples of Sturgeon, Nova Scotia Salmon, Kippered Salmon, Sable and Whitefish. Now, you must understand that this is not sushi. The fish is lovingly smoked by various purveyors, and selected exclusively by the owners of the shop (I believe this claim). It's absolutely pristine. Everything from the simplest appetizer to the fish platter is garnished with lettuce, ripe tomato, olives, raw onion, and includes a Bagel or Bialy of one's choice, toasted or not. And cream cheese. The price? $75.00. We had it on a previous visit and ended up taking half of it, and half our appetizers home.

The Eastern European flavor of the place not only attracts Gourmets of all religions, but is a magnet for Poles, Russians and Hungarians. You see, beside selling the finest Nova Scotia Salmon in the City (at nearly $40 a pound), they sell caviar. They sell so much caviar wholesale that if you're eating caviar at, let's say, the Waldorf-Astoria's dining room, it originated from Barney Greengrass's. You can walk into this place and around $400 later walk out with a large tin of the finest, freshest Beluga caviar available anywhere in this country.

Now brace yourself. One normally thinks of taking their caviar from an iced service in a white-tablecloth establishment which is usually candle-lit. Fine Champagne is de rigeur. Well, not so at this place. Order the Supreme Caviar Sampler, which features their Malosol Beluga, Osetra and Sevruga caviars, accompanied by chopped boiled egg and onion, and you'll have to fork over $145. And there are no tablecloths whatsoever. The napkins are paper. About the Champagne, I'd hazard a guess that one could, indeed, bring in one's own, because the State of New York's liquor laws are a little less stringent than those of other states. But if you want a quaff that's on the menu, Heineken Beer will be the finest offered. No hard liquor is served, by the way. Nor wine. Just beer. 

A full range of other deli fare is offered. Enormous Pastrami, Corned Beef, Roast Beef and combination sandwiches are around $8; $14 will get you a sandwich with fish. All come with either potato salad or coleslaw. There are few things as delightful as a Corned Beef sandwich with raw onion and their chopped chicken liver (about $12).

Side dishes abound. Desserts are simple but very, very good. The rice pudding is like manna from heaven. The cheesecake is scrumptious. But who has room? This is a place where the food is so marvelous those who don't live in the City will want to over-order and take half of it home (we do... oink, oink).

Nowadays, there's another Barney Greengrass in Beverly Hills, California, right on Wilshire Boulevard. It's probably the best answer to the question posed in composer Dave Frishberg's song Do You Miss New York?  There's a little thing about the California store's menu that irks me, though. In New York, if you order seltzer, it's $2.00. In Beverly Hills, it's two cents; a play on the old "two cents plain" that one could order in a pre-World War II drugstore soda fountain (if you wanted flavored syrup in it, it was a nickel). Like the folks in Beverly Hills who bathe in Evian really need a discount like that.

Those who live elsewhere can avail themselves of the entirety of the Sturgeon King's menu via their website: www.barneygreengrass.com and have the gourmet delicacies delivered next-day by FedEx. There's even an online shop with Greengrass schwag.

The website is also filled with Greengrass lore. Reviews mention famous fish fans Groucho Marx, Lee Strasberg (who played a Meyer Lansky-esque character in The Godfather Part II and was informed by the proprietor that they'd just flown an order exactly the same as his to Miami — for Meyer Lansky).  Alfred Hitchcock was a Sturgeon fanatic. An aging George Burns is pictured with Barney Greengrass's son in a photo displayed in the shop's window (Greengrass Sr. passed on in 1956). Composer Irving Berlin was a fan of their borscht, served cold and in a glass.

Barney Greengrass is, strangely enough, not a kosher delicatessen. Perhaps their frame of mind is "Who needs the Orthodox when the rest of the public is lined up outside the door?"

And line up they do. The store's open from 8:30 until 6 Tuesday through Thursday, 8:30 until 5 Friday and Saturday. Monday's you're out of luck; they're closed. If you dare to go on Friday or Saturday, bring some reading to occupy you. The lines at the deli are very, very long. And the lines for a table are ghastly. However, it's first-come, first-served (no reservations are taken). Their celebrity clientele sends people to wait in line for them. The line of limousines idling early on Saturday morning would make the uninitiated say "where's the funeral?"

I recall a Saturday morning waiting in line at 8:00 in the morning with a couple from the Bronx who'd taken the subway there. Behind us was a guy I said "looked like a young Leonard Bernstein". The couple from the Bronx had no idea. Neither did the folks behind the great composer/conductor. After 15 or 20 minutes, the guy spoke up and said, "what, do I look old when I'm on stage?" I was too embarrassed to ask for an autograph. And he didn't offer one, either.

Barney Greengrass is located on Amsterdam Avenue and 86th street, on the East side of the avenue. This gastronome's advice comes in two words: go there!

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.