Civilization is officially crumbling.

I was at the local University the other night getting in some Quality time with CounterStrike, when I felt the pangs of hunger hit me. I quickly dispatched my opponents (with the Awp, of course), and headed down to the little room where the coffee, soda and snack food vending machines are.

Down the corridor, turn the corner, glare at the high-school goth kids sprawled out on the floor and blocking the hall, turn another corner.

I was feeling somewhat in the mood to be healthy so I decided on getting some fruit from the "NatureVend" fruit vending Machine... "Mmmm, a pear; I haven't had one of those in a while". 65 cents. Push A-12.

** Ca-Clunk **

I shine it quickly against the denim of my jeans and prepare to take a patent-pending "Big ole' Bite" when, to my horror, I see something distinctly un-natural on it's otherwise beautifully untainted surface.

A barcode

Some Hideous fiend has barcoded my fruit!

I stare at it in dibelief for minutes (okay, seconds), mouth agape. I want so badly to partake of this divine foodstuff, but I am pulled assunder by this mark-on-man in one of God's finest creations.

It is safe?

What will the barcode taste like?

I've never eaten a barcode before.

Not seeing any real reason not to eat it (Well, no mature reason), I decide to partake.

The barcoded fruit was good, if a bit firm and numeric.


I found out later that the barcodes are, indeed, made out of a soy-based ink. We all like soy, right?
I'm now waiting for the day when comic strips will be printed on my Apples.

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