A cool little cartridge game for the Atari 800 computer. It was programmed in 1983 by Chuck Benton and sold by none other than Sierra On-Line.

It's a simple little side-scroller. You control B.C. the caveman (of the syndicated comic strip B.C.) who rides a unicycle-like wheel and axle. What can you do? Well, you can jump rocks and pits, and you can duck overhead tree branches. It's a good idea to do this, because if you neglect to jump a pit or hit a branch, you will fall over with a sad look on your face as your wheel bounces off ahead of you. The result is that you lose a life and have to try that portion of the level again.

Even though it's a quest for tires, the ultimate goal seems to involve saving someone. At least judging by the word balloon saying "Help! Help!" that appears in the top right corner on occasion. I don't think I ever completed the game, and if I did I don't remember who you rescue at the end. However, I assume that it's that blonde girl.

The Fat Broad makes an appearance at numerous ponds you must pass over. There are turtles to jump on to get across, and on the opposite bank, the Fat Broad shouts "Jump sucker!" and tries to club you.

Other interesting sections of gameplay involve hills with rocks rolling down, and a pit you must jump by grabbing on to a bird flying above you. There is also a large pit of water that somehow has to be jumped, though I can't remember how. Gameplay bears a striking resemblance to Moon Patrol.

This game (by Sydney Development Corp) was also available for the PC, and Colecovision, and, presumably, most of the other game systems and computers of the day. I've based this on the Coleco version since that was what I played most.

The objective was, as Thor, to rescue the Cute Chick from the evil dinosaur.
The sections of the game went thus (started with the first bar of the William Tell overture):

  • An open meadow, jumping over rocks and holes in the ground. Easy stuff.
  • A forest, jumping over logs and ducking under branches. A bit trickier.
  • The first river. The evil Fat Broad is waiting on a rock on the other side ready to club you and drag you by the hair back to her cave, taunting "Jump, sucker!". Four turtles bob in the river, and you have to hop across them, Pitfall style. On easier levels they'll just stay there, but on harder levels they'll submerge randomly. Easy.
  • Uphill. Somehow you're propelled up a slope, while balls of molten lava and holes need jumping over.
  • Hilltop. The Dookie bird (given what snowboarding and Green Day have taught us, I wouldn't recommend this next task in real life) flies overhead and you must position yourself underneath it (while hopping over more holes and rocks) so when you reach the cone of the volcano you can grab onto its feet and be carried safely over the pit of molten lava. That's not the worst bit.
  • Downhill. Aka, the worst bit. Now, you have to go as fast as you can down the other side of the volcano, dodging yet more holes and rocks, aiming to hit a certain speed (depending on the difficulty level it was anything from 50mph to 100mph) so you could clear the jump at the bottom over the gorge. Timing was as much a part as speed and unless you had it perfect, Thor wouldn't fly nearly high enough and smash his head in horribly against the side of the cliff (and then, comically, stay motionless for a few seconds before following his wheel in a long fall)
  • The Eruption. The second-worst bit. The volcano has now erupted, and you have to dodge through a shower of molten rocks, which become obstacles to be jumped if they reach the ground. Plus, you're probably going really fast from your jump just before so you'd better slam on the brakes as soon as this level starts.
  • The Second River. More turtles, and the other end of the river is now the cave of the evil dinosaur, whose leering face pokes in and out. Hop across and into the cave. Pretty easy.
  • The Cave. Or, the 'don't get cocky cuz you can still fuck it up just before the end, buddy' level. Hop and duck under stalagmites and stalagtites.

Congratulations! You've made it, and get a quick glimpse of the Cute Chick while a giant red heart floats in the air.

Now, do it again, only faster and with the obstacles closer together.

The manual was one big piece of paper which folded out, with a cartoon of the whole game drawn along its length. Cute.

There was also a sequel called Grog's Revenge, where once again Thor has to make his way (on the wheel) up several large mountains while avoiding Grog, who attacks by shouting GROG! and presumably giving Thor a heart attack or something.

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