We sat on her bed
, my arms wrapped around her, trying to comfort.
"You're not okay, Amanda
. I can see that, anyone can. If I was moving away
tomorrow, I'd be a weeping mess by now."
She offered me a sad grin. "I'd like to see that. Somehow, Jairus
, I can't picture you crying."
"It'll happen. Trust me
." I grinned, trying not to show how sad I was. "About 5 seconds after we say goodbye."
"I don't want to talk about goodbye," she said, tears welling. "Goodbye hurts
. I'm here with you, now, and I'm happy."
I had been trying to discuss this with her for weeks, and she was leaving within hours. It was something I needed to discuss. I needed to know how she felt, in her own words.
Feeling like an insensitive bastard
, I tried to smile, and whispered, "You need to talk about it. You can't keep it all locked up inside, 'manda. I love you
, and I want you to talk about it."
Turning to look at me, frustrated, she said "But I don't keep it all locked up! I talked with Corey
for hours about it last night!"
I used a cigarette
as an excuse
to leave the room. I'd rather she didn't see me cry.