I am so fucking STRESSED. Nothing is ever simple. I have to go have my schedule changed tomorrow so I can fit that French class at Hope College in. Unfortunately, it's only offered at one o'clock in the afternoon, M W F, which falls directly between seventh and eighth hours on Mondays, and takes away my entire eighth hour the rest of the week. So that means no Physics. Not that I'm too heartbroken over not taking it, but I would like to have a fourth science credit on my transcript before heading off to college for good. Will I even get into college? I was quite disappointed with my ACT score from the summer. I know most any college would accept it, yet I know I can do better. But I can retake that any time. Still need to find the time to take the SAT maybe, if needed. Have to apply for a million scholarships. Have to fill out a pile of applications. Essays to write, people to call. My GPA is sinking lower and lower every year. I got my first C last year in FST (functions, statistics and trig). I'm down to a 3.85! I remember when I got straight A's without question, Little Miss Perfect 4.0. I guess those days are over with. Sometimes I just want to scream until my hair falls out with the frustration of everything being so hard. Why can't I just calm down?

It would be nice to know how to properly relax. Instead I find myself getting wound up over everything. Wound up because I have virtually nothing to do at work at the moment (ironic that this should be stressful). Wound up because my girlfriend is pissed off for some arbitrary reason that probably doesn't have anything to do with me. Wound up because I can barely find half an hour outside of work to sit down at home and just read in peace.

This has been the tone of my week. But things are looking up, for it is friday, and I can sleep in tomorrow. I probably won't though, because after many months of waiting I finally get my car this evening. I haven't driven in 18 months so it will be quite an interesting experience initially.

I wondered for a moment today why the hell I spend so much money on music. That thought passed quite quickly though. Now I can't wait to get home and listen to my new Badly Drawn Boy album.

Oooh, there's a positive review of my band's 7" on a webzine.. That's brightened my day considerably.

Factgirl's fact of the day:

The Guzman Prize is an award to the first person to make contact with beings from another planet (except Mars of course, that would be way too easy). The prize has been available since 1901 - and still has never been claimed - good luck to all you SETI@homers.

-it's a fact!

Exams for University courses done, must choose courses for fall, good god let me die, must mentally prepare to call this girl I know who continues to ignore me even though I'm part of her circle of friends and thus unignorable.

Today started out routine. Mom said she would be offline in a minute or two for about 4 hours. Then we left to go pick up my girlfriend, so NBD. Dropped by the village to check the PO Box. Both my mom and I were expecting stuff, my thinkgeek order isn't there, and her little box thingy isn't in. However, My free shirt from Cisco came in. It's an advertisement for their DSL equip, but its free. They only had XL though, hope it will fit after i have to wash it.

Fast Forward to later that afternoon, i made my girlfriend watch Forest Gump, because i think everyone should have to see that movie once in their life. I should have strapped her to a chair, just so i could say i did it, but whatever. Then we sat around mildly bored for awhile, ate food twice in the time she was here.

She gave me a devine backrub when my shoulders/blades died on me! I layed on the couch face down (should have been on the floor, but whatever), and she straddled me to rub my back. Ahhh. Finished up the night cuddling on the floor.

I haven't slept since my entry yesterday (and thanks for all the fish, folks!)

I thought I'd be noding like a mofo today, really honing my cone.

Change in plans when my roomie walks in and finally lets me start reading the new Harry Potter. He's been reading it ... s l o w l y ... since it came out, when, in 1968? People who read only on the stairmaster piss me off ... frown-ee face

I think I'm supposed to be looking for a job, or something.

Yesterday | Dizzy->Day_Logs() | Tomorrow


9:15 BST

Ouch

A friend of mine has broken his leg in a cycling race. It seems that he has sustained the same kind of injury I had several years ago: a compound fracture of his lower leg.

I really hope that this isn't true - This kind of injury, if not properly treated, can prevent you walking for months.

Door Etiquette

You and another person are on opposite sides of a door. The door opens towards them; the handle is on their side of the door. They are "first" to the door, but they are carrying a bag and several folders. If you push open the door, they will have to step back and push closely past you - possibly touching you as you are off balance holding the door open.

What's the best way to handle that?

10:35 BST

This is the first time I've been sitting at my desk for more than 10 minutes for over 2 weeks. It seems strange to have the time to hack some perl and java servlets.

I have been watching the show, Big Brother recently. (We have it over here in the UK now too.) In fact, I have not missed much of it in the last 3 weeks. Yesterday was really exciting.

A bit of background:
There is this guy called Nick. He is a bit too devious for the public (or the press) to like him. He has been dubbed 'Nasty' or 'Naughty' Nick because of his behaviour. Like what? Well there were rumours that he had a mobile phone (which is not allowed). He has been generally two faced, playing the other contestants off against each other and attempting to influence their nominations.

Early yesterday morning, it all came to a climax when a couple of the contestants started talking about how Nick had been suggesting that they nominate, which they didn't like. They checked his bag and found bits of paper with peoples names on. There was a confrontation the next day, and my god was it exciting. My heart was pounding. I don't feel sorry for Nick, but the tension of the situation really got to me. Anyway, he's been disqualified, and evicted from the house. This happened yesterday afternoon, although it has not yet been televised. The reasons for his disqualification are having paper and pencil in the house (not allowed), and attempting to influence nominations (definitely not allowed). It looked like he was ready to quit anyway, we'll se tonight I guess.

So, non TV news...
Yesterday I banged my head against a Java problem for a few hours. After a good fun debugging attempt, it was discovered that the AIX machine we were using was running 1.1.6. Upgrading to 1.1.8 fixed it immediately. How irritating. Similar problem was discovered on Solaris too. If you have a Solaris or AIX boxen then don't use anything before Java 1.1.8. However, don't be an upgrade weenie either.

My favorite day of the year. And that dream I keep having, driving up one way streets, then down them, missing that turn everytime, having to go all the way around again. Sometimes the street is way far ahead, other times I know we've overshot it. I think it's actually the two main streets that keep moving, not us, like a conveyor belt. And what a strange group of people in the car. It's that light blue Dodge again. I worked on one of those streets, how can I keep missing the damn turn, and she, she lives on one of them, and who the hell is driving anyway, because it just seems like all five of us are stuffed in the back seat. Anyone for Thai? I know this great joint on the left here as we're going North, but, DAMN! Missed it again....let's go get some forties....they don't usually card here.......

Happy Birthday, to a person who talks a good game, and plays an even better one. You know who you are, just don't let them hold you down and check your wallet. You'll be good for another year.

13:05 EET

Yay! The weekend is closing in!
Why the hell was I in such a bad mood yesterday? Things aren't that bad. My problems are nothing a little friday euphoria couldn't cure.
Yes, I'm feeling great today. Of course it would be even better if I actually had something to do over the weekend, but that has never stopped me from having a good time. My best friend is leaving for the Finnish fireworks championship held in Helsinki, and naturally won't take me along. Oh well. I'm used to being alone.

Damn, I really wish a certain fellow employee would stop whistling. He's a nice guy and all, but his loud and off-key whistling really annoys me. Thankfully he has cut it down in the last six months, but still.. whine.. groan...

Time to do some actual work here. I'll be back.


Today's Writeups
ARP 2600 | ARP Solina String | EQ | Equalization | Roland RE-20 Space Echo

Nodekeeping
ARP Instruments | Finland Metanode | Roland

Work:
Today should be easy.
Last week I had (literally) 19 coding projects that I was working on. Ranging from esoteric automation of database stuff to web sites to the stupid intranet. I hate working on stuff that no one gets, and the intranet is used by people that don't understand computers or the web at all.

It was paralyzing. I could never figure out what I should work on. Should I bang my head against uber-important x for three hours since I don't really know how I am going to do it, or do I spew out tasks y, z, and n, which are pointless and only going to be used once or twice? Do I work on the minor changes to finished projects or complete the ones I am working on?

I couldn't do anything, because I had too much to do.
So, my boss and project manager decided that I would only have two projects per week. One for the intranet, for my boss, and one for the web, for my project leader/management trainee. When I am done with either one, I just start on something else that they assign.

Well, I am done with both for this week, and they won't give me anything more probably until next Wednesday. Today I can just coast.

Note to young everythingians:
Being an adult is not always more fun than being a kid. Most of the time it is, but sometimes you have to do really crappy things, like yelling at your children because they are doing something that could hurt them. It breaks my heart when I make my daughter cry, but I have to to shape her into a decent person.

I had the lovely talented and vivacious little Allison over to my place last night, where I made English Muffin Pizzas for the two of us. She seemed to be impressed with my cooking skills. We bad mouthed our ex's and listened to some MP3's. A typical night for the two of us.
She also brought me an old motherboard that she came across while cleaning her house. She didn't even know she had it. It's an ATX, with an AMD K6II 350 on it, it will be perfect to be my new Linux machine.
We said goodbye at 1:25am and here it is, just a few short hours later. I'm tired, yet, in an unusually good mood. Why? It's Friday, and better than that IT'S PAYDAY!
Splendid start to this sunny friday, found some forgotten about feta cheese and hummus in the fridge and made me a really tasty sandwich for breakfast with mild peppers and marinated garlic to top it off. The coffee got just perfect and raised my expectations for a splendid day.

Unfortunately these expectations had to crash and burn just a few minutes later, when I decided to pump up the tires of my bike at the nearby gas station.

My mind elsewhere, still being pleased about how the day started off and still sensing the lingering garlicky taste of the sandwich, I didn´t notice that the tire got overloaded and suddenly it exploaded, going off with a BANG! right in my face. The little brown dog on the corner yelped and was led away by an angry looking owner.

From this moment on everything I attempt to do at the lab gets screwed up.

Jinxed by an exploading tire.

I FELL ASLEEP WITH MY CONTACTS IN!!!

Arrrgh.

Repeat: Arrgh.

I got lucky. I got really lucky. Things could have been much, MUCH worse. I woke up this morning and went out into the suite's common room. I wondered why everything looked so beautiful that morning, I could see everything in complete clarity. Maybe because it was a Friday. Hopped into the shower, and noticed that I could read the title of a magazine in the bin (duPont Registry). Funny, I could never read text that small before. I wondered if my eyes somehow got miraculously better overnight, but then realized the truth. I paniced. Went into the adjacent room. Sure enough, I found my contact lens bottle and container.

With the lids off

Shit.

My eyes felt fine at the time, so I wasn't sure whether or not to take out the lenses or keep them in. I had talked to a friend of mine a few weeks back who said that he had left his in for around 4 hours while sleeping, and developed a really nasty corneal ulcer, and now has to go for a few months without them. The most I've ever slept with them in was 2-3 hours. Never a full night's sleep with them in before. Never 24 hours straight. How bad were my eyes damaged?

I was afraid to take them off. I knew I had to. They came off easily, probably because the steam from the shower hydrated the contacts a bit. Now, it feels funny when I blink. My eyes are dry. My glasses are on. I'm not in a good mood. But I've done my research, and was able to do a few writeups on it. See What happens when you leave your contact lenses in for too long?.

9:42 AM EST - Well, if it weren't for the little scare I had this morning, I would have to say that this is one of the best Fridays to come rolling along in quite a long while. Yesterday's trip down to D.C. was great. The Metroliner is one of the best ways of getting around -- $178 round trip from Philly to D.C., by train. I doubt it would have costed much more to fly there. Of course, being a business trip, I didn't pay for it.

And after all was said and done, I returned with freeze-dried ice cream. Excellent.

There was a little baby fly just now was I turned the computer speaker's off and replaced them with headphones. Reaching behind the computer I need only slide my fingers across the first few holes on the soundcard to find the one I'm looking for. I like that there is this thing, this human memory. I was pondering this yesterday, as well, whilst I was working.

Walking up and down walls (across, would be a more appropriate term perhaps), I counted the studs, that is to say the wood that makes up a wall for those who are unfamiliar with the term for whatever reason. I closed my eyes and walked letting my fingers trail along the wall to feel the spaces and their ends. It seemed I could stop just before I would have walked into the wall, but it took much to trust my memory, for some reason. The first few times I opened my eyes before the wall, thinking that I'd hit it, though I was moving slowly and it wouldn't have hurt, regardless, but still.. no real trust. Is that to say, I don't trust myself? That's probably accurate.

There is absolutely nothing dreamier to me than the smells of a house being built. There is the lumber, fresh cement, dusty gravel, the insulation (but the fibre glass type, not polyurethane).. it all has a smell to it that I am in love with. This is probably because of my dad and the fact that it reminds me of my childhood. I just love walking around in a house that has no walls yet.. or even one that has rough walls in, drywall takes away from it though. I think one day that I might like to live in a house with nothing but the outside walls intact.

I don't intend to be a burden today, through whatever means, on the world as a whole. Thusly, I will trap some of my thought'y matter inside, perhaps indefinitely.

I am so infinitely tired of people reading over my shoulder.. I hate it. They stand behind me and I don't know they're there because I've headphones on and hear very little. I hate the intense invasion of privacy that results. I don't want some people to read some things, I don't want others near me at all sometimes. I wish everyone would stop sneaking up behind me and peering into pieces of my life that I don't want them to..
song in head: build me up buttercup. (why?)


So, about 900 T3s went down last night in Verizon territory. Hmm. I wonder how that happened?

The gross person isn't sitting at my desk anymore! It's amazing how loose cables can deter.


At work, there is a red fingernail at the bottom of a stairwell. It's been there for days.


Someone photographed my tattoo at DEFCON, and now I'm sort of worried about the whereabouts of said photograph. Is it pinned up in his cubicle? Is someone else going to get the same tattoo now? Maybe he's just into math. Sheesh. I worried about it at the time, but what the hell.

Paranoia

I've said too much already! /me looks around furtively......


Y left for two days. :(
I'm going to sleep.

Well, for those of you following the saga (hah) of my life (see my last daylog, August 10, 2000), I am still married. We talked things out that night, and I think I got through to him. I'm still not sure if it will change things though. In fact, he still did truck things on Friday and Monday. So I guess things haven't changed, but he knows how I feel and he does seem to be making more of an effort to consider me before making his own plans.

Blah! Maybe if I just ignore things again....

I am tired of being too busy at work. This has been the first chance to do some noding since the 10th, and I really only have time to do this daylog. What about my Jimmy Buffett nodes? Do they miss me? I miss them - those happy little nodes about other people and their lives. Maybe I'll sneak one in later.

Currently listening to Phat Blues Music.

I would scream you a love song, but I might make too much noise
But sometimes you can't be heard, unless you raise your voice.


I did manage to node a Buffett tune! Yay me!

TODAY IS MY LAST DAY OF WORK

I must use my mad NT skills to strip any trace of my existence from this machine. the secret of E2 must not be revealed.

I MOVE BACK TO MICHIGAN on SUNDAY

Freakin me out man. I don't know if the car can fit it all, but dear God, it's going to anyways!

/me HAS A SLEEPING BUDDY

Despite having "broken up" or whatever due to the whole us moving thing, we're still sleeping in the same bed for the next couple days. in a platonic sort of way... I think. err...

technically, there are over eight hours until i can go home. i have many slightly non-obligatory obligations, which don't sound too bad i guess, but those are really the worst kind. they're the worst because the fact that you have a choice but no choice which choice to choose places all the burden on you. i'm stuck at work. i hate having to pretend to be busy when there's just not a bloody thing left for me to do. they don't even need me here today. this whole week has been a joke. it's my last day, and i should be in a celebratory mood but i am not. i don't care. really. i'm finding it hard to care about anything today.

example: my back itches. i can't bear to move my hand enough to scratch it.

my boyfriend just called me, and had nothing to say. i thought, with some irritation: why did you call if you had nothing to say? did you call me out of some non-obligatory obligation? and then: why am i always an obligation?

i don't like feeling like an obligation. i don't think i fit very many places. my thought of the day is that most of the time, when i'm standing somewhere, it's just by the good graces of the other people around that i do not spontaneously combust. i had a spontaneous-combusty few minutes last night. unfortunately, it was obvious. either i'm slipping, or the people around me are just more sensitive than they used to be. or they're different people. or i'm just a pain in the ass. *laughs*

there's a quote that jen has written on a sticky note and pasted to the rolodex in this cubicle. it makes me feel better whenever i look at it.

the instant made eternity.
--robert browning
Last order date for a VAX!

I found this today on yesterday's LWN. Compaq (aka the bastards who bought Digital) have announced September 30 2000 as the last order date for a VAX. Specifically, that is the last date for ordering a MicroVAX (the only type of VAX left), models 3100-88, 3100-98, 4000-108, and various upgrades and options.

I learnt UNIX on a VAX 11-780 running 4.2 BSD (not Ultrix, thank Heavens); that was my only brief exposure. Much later, I laughed at a friend who was stuck with some MicroVAX running VMS (and an X11 server!). So my connection to Vaxen was minimal. But it is still sad to mark the (expected) passing of an architecture.

It’s over.

Today’s the last day of work. No big fanfare as far as I can tell. There have been a few people wishing me good luck and stuff, which is nice. Overall though, its been a slow and boring day, which is good.

It is raining outside today, and today my company had a little summer carnival outside. It was planned for a month, and of course, today happens to be the first day in about 40 days that it rains. We stood around outside waiting to dunk our bosses in the dunk tank eating hotdogs with soggy buns. I wish I had remembered my coat.

I’ve decided that I’m not going to do any more work today. I am going to spend the next 90 minutes sitting here with my phone off the hook enjoying my CD on headphones. Actually, I should probably go over to HR and turn in my door key and such. Not yet though. I’m going to enjoy the quiet and stillness in the corner for a while longer.

Nodes That I Wrote Today:
(last night at home) I don’t know everything
(last night at home) “Evil is a real growing market”

CD’s I’ve Listened To Today:
Tracy Chapman – self titled
Elliot SmithXO
Depeche ModeUltra

Today’s Horoscope on my Calendar - You hit the motherlode as the Moon enters Aries and aligns with five planets. Rams can find happiness and worldly success – thanks to hard work and good fortune. Don’t slack off in your efforts. You will be rewarded.

I’ll be working for somebody else, until I’m in my grave.

Everything Day Logs
Yesterday | Tomorrow

Everything Snapshot

Time: Fri, 18 Aug 2000 23:58:15 GMT
Everything server: Apache/1.3.9 (Unix) Debian/GNU mod_perl/1.21_03-dev
Number of nodes: 659418 (1468 new since August 17, 2000)
Number of users: 18110 (45 new since August 17, 2000)
Number of links: 3078390 (23265 new since August 17, 2000)

Node to user ratio: 36.412 nodes per user
Link to node ratio: 4.668 links per node
Link to user ratio: 169.983 links per user

New Nodes: [Mr. Anderson] [Phat Ceramic] [DMan is a tool of the International Communist Party!] [Elements I.1] [The Avignon Quintet] [e-verything] [Take Ecstasy With Me] [multifunctional] [Deep Space 1] ["out" everythingians] [Zeno's Paradox] [T3] [Homicide] [Take Ecstasy With Me] [What should I name my car?]

Users Online (39): [Pseudo_Intellectual] [Jet-Poop] [moJoe] [prole] [fondue] [Archetype] [LordOmar] [Eraser_] [baffo] [Yablo] [Sand Jack] [ScottMan] [SB5] [siren] [mcc] [moa] [Gorgonzola] [bonnet] [Katyana] [AlexZander] [sparky] [factgirl] [Torque] [sockpuppet] [dejiko] [Phyllis Stein] [continuity] [CaptainSuperBoy] [PhysicsChic] [El Diablo] [Johnny5D] [cethiesus] [RevCosmoMcKinley] [KetsuYa] [intromorph] [Janek] [lola montez] [newton] [rwcummings]

JeffMagnus node count: 4031 (1 new since August 17, 2000)
JeffMagnus experience: 9463 (3 more since August 17, 2000)
JeffMagnus experience to node ratio: 2.348 XP per node
JeffMagnus nodeshare: 0.612%
JeffMagnus node of the day: The 106th Congress

Highlights of the past three days:
    * Made the trek up to school (an hour in transit) for registration but because the archaic arena-style signup chewed the first 20 minutes out of the class I also had scheduled that morning I (after lurking to hear when the teacher was lecturing on - my god, they're only on Locke? I haven't missed much...) skipped the rest of it. Retroactive analysis: I went to school not to go to school, but merely to arrange to have more school to go to.

    * Convinced a new friend that along with goat chese and eggplant one of the salient components of the salacious Lebanese cuisine we would be consuming later that night was mugwump cum. In true monkey fondulator style, instead of doing a double-take they asked me to elaborate on the composition of that latter ingredient and I hunted down an online clip of the relevant bit of Interzone to first-handedly cite from. I think she was seriously offended. ...excellent.

    * I am a sentimental fool; I want to say the worst kind of fool but truthfully both the militant fool and the malicious fool are worse - and of course as far as sentimental people go, foolishness is a prerequisite. Sentiment dictates that you give people you love gifts redolent with symbolic meaning, even if they don't love you back in that way. Should you find yourself helping them move some time later, sentiment flares again seeing the less-than-a-year-ago gift being put in a box for goodwill. To head off further stupid symbolism, the silent recovery of the gift is a necessity and now I'm stuck with it, no less symbolic once more in my hot little hands. Sigh. Anyone out there want a copy of Chester Brown's comic-book oeuvre I Never Liked You?

Things that went away by themselves came back by themselves; not turning my computer monitor off resolved the symptom of its often-not-turning-back-on-without-being-swatted, but apparently did little to remedy the underlying problems in the stately piece of hardware.

How to know when it's time to replace a computer component: What's that burning smell?

Forays from this firewall/dumb terminal aside, I'm on effective Everything vacation until I get a new monitor. Pseudo_lntellectual, now's your chance to make your ploy for power!

in our last episode... | p_i-logs | and then, all of a sudden...

<<   {hojita} Day Log Navigation   >>

Sometimes I really wonder about myself. I don't know whether I'm seriously messed in the head, or clinically depressed, lonely, or just that I love people too much.

I don't mean to start off on such a whiny note...but I guess Everything Day Logs are as much to vent as to record the day. *shrug* It's been the week before college begins again. I've moved in...(blah)...some marching band camp going on, and some training to be a resnet computing person to live in the dorms. Not like I especially need to be "trained" how to install and configure an ethernet card, but it's mandatory, and it gets me out of band camp, so I can't especially complain. *mgrin* Damn, it's humid here.

There are some days where I feel very disconnected from everybody I know. Stuff goes on: being hit by loneliness in typical me fashion: stomachache, curled into a ball as much as possible (so I was in a training session...*shrug*), managing to cry in a room full of people and not having anybody notice. Other things: My parents seemingly pretending that my weekend at home never happened; not getting any email from any of my friends at home in almost the past month, when I used to write daily; losing friends who graduated last year and the thought of them not being here makes my year look very long; not being able to go hang out with friends tonite at RHPS; being spoiled during highschool with an incredible group of 20 friends who would hang out and do random things at a moment's notice; seeing people pull away from me and knowing that they don't want to hang out with me (no, that wasn't at you, Duchess, *HUG*); seeing a year in front of my computer. I guess I'll have a lot of nodes this year. Fucking yay.

It's just these little things that add up, and hit me in full force. Why am I lonely? I don't understand. Yeah, I love people. Yeah, I have friends. Yeah, friendship and communication and being with people I care about makes me happy. But I like being alone. I'm as strong an introvert as one can possibly be on the Meyers-Briggs test. It's not as if I'm lacking in the friends department...

It's like this: I enjoy listening to music...when I listen to music it makes me happy. When I don't have music to listen to, it's not a big deal. I go on with what I was doing. I enjoy my friends...when I'm with my close friends it makes me very happy. Close friendship and random or deep conversations are my utter lifeblood (and maybe hugs too). But, when I'm not with my friends...I get depressed, and lonely. So why? Depression? Paranoia? Self Esteem Issues? Need of a good smacking? *smirk*
unpleasantness

I had a Dream Log: August 18, 2000:rather unpleasant dream this night, and waking up wasn't any better. Apparently, I had slept through the alarm clock, and I got woken up by an angry dad who wanted to know if I had watered the plants yet. Obviously not. He bitched a bit while I got up, and then we started to water the plants around the house. Very not fun - he kept on asking me if I was done yet, but I wasn't, and it was just not nice. I then had to run around the house getting ready - picking up socks, my watch, my black bag of toiletries, all while having someone fume in silence at me. Sigh, he's got reason to be angry at me in other ways but the fact that he takes it out on me for this is upsetting - one doesn't like seeing their parents be immature. We finally got in the car and took off for Balboa Island.

vacation dai-yo, wai wai

Took off on the highway down to Orange County, home of half the white blond Republicans in California judging on the people I see. Due to our slight delay traffic made its unpleasant appearance and we had to take a slight detour. Having a grumpy driver hardly leads to pleasant conversation, so I read Schrodinger's Cat for most of the way. The radio was tuned to some idiot - or so I felt until he came out with some interesting news about Walmart and the dangerous if not murderous nature of their shelving. I prefer capitalism to much else offered so far but sometimes... Definitely something to research. We rolled into the vacation nook. My mom looked somewhat stressed from dealing with five active teenage boys and happy to see us. The boys were obnoxious as ever, although David seemed somewhat calm for a kid who had been going through puberty-fueled irritability recently. Guess that's over with. I ended up crashing on the bed for a while and having a short dream in the sun about being confronted by parental units. Unfun. My dad headed out with the kids to take them to Hooters at their request, and I went out for dinner with my mom.

sun lowering into the sea

We walked over to the commercial strip of the island. She had scrip for a restaurant with decent food so we ate there. Emilio's had decent pasta and apparently wonderful seafood, although the prices were somewhat high. We walked home and had the kids burst in with tales from Hooters. Apparently Dennis Rodmann had shown up there, and it was his boat that was cruising Balboa Bay with Sexual Chocolate written so prominently on the bow. Why he'd be down in Orance County I don't know, but whatever. The kids got kicked out of the house for excessive flatulence and I helped my dad understand how to show his photos on the web for my brother's team. Explaining what a website is gets really annoying, even though I know he's got loads of knowledge I don't and probably never will. He finally saw the light. My attempts at making an effective webpage with thumbnails without the right tools and items really drove home how much longer work takes when you don't know the best way. I could do it in seconds back at home, but it'd take me an hour to do it by hand. I gave Tom a call around that time, and we shot the shit for a bit until he had to go off to pick stuff up from the pharmacy. He had some pretty unpleasant news about the DNC, noded in Los Angeles Democratic Convention 2000. He was pretty excited about it and the Cool it garnered, but upset at the downvote it recieved, so he wanted my opinion on it. I almost killed James for turning off DJ Shadow's preemptive strike, and I will kill his idiot friend Matt if he doesn't stop "being a DJ" by sliding the volume control or the mobile speakers around. We played charades after that, and I enjoy knowing my team won. After that, I sat down to read the news and for a loong stretch of quality E2 noding. That complete, it's time for bed.

9:40pm
it all resembles circular motions, yet never loops around to someplace familiar.. so i went to the doctor Thursday morning. i'm not sure if i like him.

Wolfgang gave me my birthday present early.. a trip to see my friends without him.. it is more than rad he understands my need to spend time with my friends.. and even more that he recognizes i am so stressed and need a break

last night i fucked around for hours with my stupid web page and new LiveJournal style. i was so tired, up for a gazillion hours.. which didn't help.. i just could not get the stupid text to show right. the text isn't stupid i was.. and overtired i refused to just walk away .. get some sleep.. and look at it when i was coherent.. heh i haven't fixed it yet, but that is out of laziness.. i also kinda dread looking at, because when i do i will see how much time i wasted out of stubbornness

today was just me running errands.. i am staying home tonite.. or i will just go over to wolfgangs.. but that will just eventually lead me to sleep.. my kittykat is over there.. i haven't seen pouncer for a while.. i miss him..

i had a glass of wine with my dinner.. i like wine's ability to make me not drunk in one glass, but enough to make my shoulders sit normally instead of all cramped up out of tension.. this is a physical sign of whats going on in my head

i never mind good covers of song.. but i hate when a crappy band remakes a song i really like.. some dumb band remade "How Soon is Now?".. i couldn't believe the audacity.. how dare they touch something so sacred.. that song didn't need to be remade.. the original was something to remain untouched.. especially not to be released on crappy teenybopper top 40 stations.. i am old, hypocritical, and i just don't get what the kids listen to..

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