Missing music

When I turned 24 I decided to do all of the things I wanted to do in my life but was a little scared to in the past. I always thought I had a talent in music but was so frightened by public speaking that I couldn't imagine performing in front of crowds of people openly judging me. So on my birthday I woke up feeling old and feeling like I needed to grab life by the horns as they say. One day I was surfing the internet and found myself on craigslist. I searched for musicians just to see if what type of people were on there. I came across a band that was looking for a performer. It was the type of music I'm into or one of the kinds of music I'm into so I decided to contact them. When I met the lead singer Blake we hit it off musically. I met the rest of the band and we began to work

It was just the kind of music that I was looking to do. It was sort of a hybrid type thing. A hip hop slash rock slash whatever we were feeling at the time. We began to record songs and even signed up for an open mic night. My first open mic was horrible in my opinion. Some of my friends told me it was ok but my brutally honest friend Jamal told me it wasn't so hot. I was looking at the ground the whole time and everyone couldn't hear or understand what I was saying. I was flop sweating and if I didn't have on a baseball cap and hoodie it might have been more embarrassing with everyone starring at my pit stains and what not.

After a while we began to perform more and I got a lot more comfortable in front of crowds. We recorded a couple of songs professionally in a studio a friend of the band had. Our last show was incredible. We were getting paid for shows at this time and we had a show booked in Roseville Michigan. We had sold tickets and even had people come in off the street to purchase tickets.

After that though I had to quit the band because of personal reasons but I stay in contact with the guys. I occasionally caught my missing the excitement of performing music and having a creative outlet like music. It was eating at me and I never really got over it. So now I'm moving to Chicago to do work, but I also am going to record a solo album. As much as I miss and appreciate my former band (birds and the beats) I really want to say what I have to say unfiltered. So hopefully this will go well, but either way you live once, no regrets.

Check out the band if you want at http://www.myspace.com/birdsandthebeats I am only on the song entitled change, I'm the MC on the song.

Also check out my blog and leave comments at http://marcusgallowaysmind.blogspot.com/2010/04/missing-music.html

Personally:

We'll always have Paris is a line I think about frequently. If you haven't seen the movie I won't spoil it for you however to give it some context it's a man speaking to a woman about a time that he remembers fondly. A couple of weekends ago my mother-in-law invited my immediate family up to Green Bay for the weekend. Driving up my husband and I got into a fight. Like most fights what we were arguing about was a superficial triviality that didn't address the real underlying issues. By the time we got to Green Bay I was emotionally exausted and ill prepared to spend the rest of the weekend at the indoor waterpark my mother-in-law decided my children would like.

My mother-in-law rocks:

Spending the weekend with my mother-in-law went much better than I had anticipated since her goal was to spend time hanging out with her grandchildren. She paid for everything explaining that this was our family Christmas gift. Since technically I am legally separated from her son I thought it would be awkward however she was very gracious the entire time. One of the things I really like about her is that she realizes no one is perfect, not even her only son. She took us out to some great restaurants and the indoor waterpark was a blast. The girls loved it especially when Grandma bought them new swimsuits at the hotel gift shop. Spending time playing in the water with my children was one of the best things we've done as a family in a long time. Hopefully they'll always look back on that weekend as a good one.

D I V O R C E is a seven letter word:

Earlier I spoke with my sister about over making the transition from legally separated to divorced. Some part of me is reluctant to drive to the courthouse by myself. My youngest sister said that she would go with me which I really appreciate. She also found some apartments that she thought might work for me. Moving out is a big step. It's not one I'm sure I'm really prepared for but I think this is kind of like the decision to have children: there's no good way to prepare for the unexpected and regardless of how well prepared you think you are until the baby is actually there all the current parents know more about how to raise a child than you do.

Professionally:

Recently my district manager asked if I would be interested in moving to another store. It's a smaller store in terms of square footage but it's been an established shoe store for twenty years and our sister store sells about ten percent more than the store I work at does. While this move would be nice because it does move me slightly closer to home I am apprehensive about it because I don't know the people who work there well and what I do know of them I'm not sure I like. Recently my boss made one of our part time holiday people a permanent member of our sales team. He's come a long way since he first started as I'm sure I have.

Back to personal goals:

Recently I made a list of things I want out of life. It's been gratifying to cross a couple things off that list. I've made some changes and taken some small steps towards a better, healthier more independent me. Every job has had something to teach me. Working at a shoe store may not have been my ideal job when I took the position but I've learned a lot about myself. The journey towards self fulfillment is a long one. Being a parent is much harder than making sure you pull good numbers down at work. Frustrations build up and I'm left with figuring out mature ways to deal with people and situations that aren't going away.

Reflecting on the past 23 months:

To digress slightly it's been almost two years since I joined this website. During that time I've accumulated over 10,000 XP. I have about that many private messages. Ten percent of them are from a fled noder whose friendship I cherished. Sadly now I know that internet friends come and go. The other day someone asked me to think back on the day I joined E2. This person asked if I would still join knowing what I know now about this website. In all honesty I don't know what I would do. All any of us can do is try to make informed decisions based on the information we have now. Today, tomorrow, yesterday, if you are my friend and we met via this website I'd like to thank you for being you. You are who you do best which is why I still love Everything2.