It seems as if each passing day at work, I'm starting to hate it more and more. It's not that its redundant or anything, but its more about the atmosphere. Anyways, today was a routine day, with some slight annoyances and some tremendous disappointments. What else can happen? Nothing. At least that's what I thought until the morning came.

Work was a bore. Ikea was full of annoying customers with tons of screaming brats. I'm not really trying to protest against the bringing of children shopping with their parents but they shouldn't allow their children to wander around alone like free range cattle. The 5 hours of work seemed like forever, and people kept on pinching my bicep. While it was complimentary, it wasn't pleasant when strangers do it. Anyways, I let work pass by quickly, and afterwards, I bought a floor lamp, batteries and some bulbs.

The floor lamp was for one of my lady friends. She's one of those people who are always so sweet, even when you don't ask them to be. They do it simply to make your day a little brighter. We've known each other for years now, and everytime I talk to her, everything seems so much clearer. Anyways, she bought me a sunflower before, which long has died, and I wanted to repay her since she has mentioned that she needed a reading light. Since I work at Ikea and I love the products there, where else would be a good place to buy right? Anyways, after grabbing the lamp and some hot dogs, I head over to her house. I give her the lamp, chat for about 5 minutes, talk to her siblings (who have grown up right before my eyes), and after a quick hug, off to home.

The batteries were for me. I'm a constant music fanatic, and off work, I have the headphones in my ear. They seem like they're either stuck on my earwax or by some unknown force. Sometimes I fall asleep with them in my ears. Anyways, since I get 10 batteries for $2.50, it seems like a great deal. The reflector bulbs were for MrFurious. I've been promising them to him for the last week and it's time for me to follow through. I head home.

I get home. I help my sister cook some meatballs. I mix the ground pork and add the spices. As I was rolling them, I had a sudden urge to play basketball. I think of the weirdest things.

MrFurious and a couple of buddies wanted to chill for a bit but I already ate dinner. They wanted to go to Daimaru to eat all you can eat but I rather watch a movie instead. But rather than disappoint, which really wasn't a big deal, I went, not at full capacity. I ate them under the table, outeating them both, except if you don't count the massive numbers of california rolls eaten that night. We were the worst nightmare of all seaweed, rice and artificial crab everywhere.

Of course, afterwards, off to the arcade. There, after a game of DDR and Strikers, Dawadeving finally met up with us. Sort of feel bad because he came and MrFurious and our pal had to go home so I hung out with him. After bringing our pal home, me and Dawadeving chilled at my house for a bit. Played some playstation and went online to chat. There, I started talking to my ex-girlfriend, at least in terms of small talk. Anyways, Dawadeving finally left, and again I was alone.

I sat in the dark, with ICQ blaring once in a while stating that I have a bloody message and sat outside for about 15 minutes. It was a particularly rainy day so the wind chill factor just made the night so much more chilly. I didn't stay outside for long until I came back. I don't think I'll be sleeping anytime soon but I'll try. It's hard to sleep when you have things on your mind that's all. It's even harder to sleep when you're afraid of what you're going to dream about. It's simply impossible if you have to deal with both.
Gods, I miss her. It's amazing that after knowing each other for 15 years, we're still friends and we keep in touch. And after all this time, we decided to explore each other sexually. Granted, she's in the last days of her Masters in New Mexico and I'm in the Bay Area. Granted, we haven't seen each other in three years. But now, both of us feeling comfortable expressing physical feelings toward each other, the distance doesn't seem as great. But still, with her stressing over her orals and graduation, not to mention trying to find a job, I wish I could be there with her. Still, we did find the time to celebrate my birthday last week. And now, I only hope I can do the same for her after her wonderful present.

I love you, baby!

I watched the movie The Education of Little Tree with my 9 year old son yesterday. Maybe that doesn't sound like much, but it made me realize how much he is already growing away from me. Sitting on the couch with him beside me, no one else demanding our attention felt so good, and is so rare.

The movie deals with a Cherokee boy learning about his heritage. It opened so many doors for my son and I. We are of Creek blood, but the traditions and pride in our Indian heritage was not passed on to us. The scenes in the movie showing prejudice against Indians and the pride of the mountain people helped my son understand why my father is ashamed of being Creek Indian. The story of the Trail of Tears, where the Creek walked with the Cherokee gave my son some idea of the strength of the people he is descended from.

Perhaps the best part of the day was when I was crying at a sad part in the movie, and my son reached over and hugged me. He's already at the age where mom isn't cool and displays of affection have to be discrete and private. That hug meant more to me than anything that has happened in the past month.

Today, I am sixteen.

Today was spent in a mostly foggy haze of nap after nap after nap. Kaytay’s definition of a nap tends to differ form the norm, but it is much more accurate when used to describe her favorite pastime :
nap : noun. To fall asleep in strange places and/or positions and remain completely dead to the world for at least three hours, resisting all external stimuli to be roused no matter how violent it may escalate to be after many failed attempts.
I tend to take at least one nap a day, usually after school and before work, or after work and before bedtime. This is a far cry from the insomniac life I tend to lead during the winter. Now that the weather is warming up (warming up for Michigan, at least), I am making up for sleep lost during the colder months of dreary blizzards and cloudy afternoons full of ice.

I woke up around 9:30 and had exactly three pancakes with minimal amounts of syrup. I must cut all the pancakes at once, not as I eat them, and apply the syrup to each individual little square bite. Each pancake makes approximately sixteen bites, four by four, varying in size depending on its location to the outer edge. I have gotten eating pancakes down to a precise science after many years of practice.

Took a nap after breakfast, and then watched some Lifetime movie depicting the sad and short life of a teenage prostitute coerced into the profession by a damn handsome 23 year old. I spent the time addressing envelopes for my graduation announcements and open house invitations. This gets decidedly dull after about number fifty seven.

Took another nap, woke up to find dinner was over and done with. My mother had been unable to wake me up, not that she really tries that hard anymore. It’s futile. I was not disappointed that I missed dinner, seeing as how it consisted of my dad’s favorite : nearly raw steak and loads of asparagus covered in lemon juice. I nearly gagged after walking into the kitchen and smelling the faint traces of such garbage. Mom cooked me some corn on the cob, my favorite food next to lima beans. My family is big on veggies.

And now it is late, I am wide awake, and my room is calling to be cleaned.

Having missed the festivities of The Southern California E2 Get-Together, I was quite pleased to receive a postcard from the motley crew a week or so later. It made me smile like a kid coming out of the candy store with a bag full of sweets! It made me feel a part of the group, even though I was conspicuously absent! I thank you for thinking of doing it. You made my day!

Yurei, NEITHER of your ducks is rabid. Only mammals get rabies...(Was that supposed to be a trick question?)

Mighty, mighty Quizro, for the next gathering might I suggest a watermelon soaked in spiced rum?

  • Carve a bottle neck sized hole in the top of a good sized melon.
  • Twist the top off of the rum bottle
  • Invert bottle into the freshly cut hole carefully so as not to spill any along the outside of the fruit thusly defeating the purpose.
  • Allow it to dribble in on it's own ( which may take a while so go find something else to do).
  • Bring THIS to the next e2 meet and say it's from me in case I don't show up again...

ScottMGS, It can never be too much fun!

Chrisjh, WHO is Mr. Jackson? Whoosh that went over my head! (suddenly, I feel blonde...)

Yup, Since I missed the jokes, /msg me some good ones!

Note to self, Igloowhite thinks the Sweet Tamale sucked, don't get it...

Lost And Found, Are you a "POD Lost and Found" about to explode or something? /me stands far far away.

Note to Igloo, make SURE that there is Karaoke nearby for prole at the next get-together...psst.. my arms are cold, where can I get those socks you like so much?

/me upvotes a minimum of FIVE TEN Chihuahua Grub nodes due to subliminal message of nodevertisement.

Names truncated to protect the innocent.

Okay fine then. You win, mind.

So i've been listening to depressing music lately, (like the new Radiohead album Amnesiac, pilfered from Napster) and it's making it seem like my whole life is crashing down, when there's really nothing major going on. Okay, so I've got finals next week, some of which will be particularily tricky, but it's nothing I can't handle. Lately i've been trying to avoid writing out my thoughts in this 'diary' format since it makes my mind reflect on the past a little too strongly, which can make things worse. Yesterday, I started writing out a diary entry and as I was just about to enter the horrific details of my life I said to my self "Wait a minute. There is nothing wrong with your life, or with you." So I shut off the PC and went to bed. Bad move. My brain was churning and turning, so I couldn't sleep. My mind needed to blorp something down to paper, but I refused to let it. The result was a insomnia. So, to stem off another night of hell, I'm going to give my brain the chance to get all of it's crap out and onto paper so's I can file it away in the "personal" box and let it rot for a month or so 'till i dig it up again and laugh at it. Or maybe I'll post it to thousands of strangers on e2. Whatever.

Actually, today was a pretty good day. The lovely C called me up and we went on a photo-taking adventure. Basically we tore around the countryside in her Oldsmobile 424, looking for interesting scenery to snap. We didn't find all that much, but it was kinda fun nonetheless. At one point we had this mad idea to go and take pictures of the Big Rock. Sounds great! A quick stop for gas and we were off. We took MacLeod Trail south onto highway 2 and we kept going... completely missing the turnoff to highway 2A that would lead us through the fabulous town of Okotoks onto Big Rock Trail which supposedly could lead us onward. So we went about 50 clicks along highway 2 and about half way to High River realized we had screwed up somewhere. So we did a U-turn (flipped a bitch... why the hell do they call it that?!) and headed back. A hundred kilometres traveled and not a picture taken. Though we did see a few roadside oddities that may require further investigation. 1) six railcars cleaned up nice and shiny, including even a caboose unused for 50 years. 2) A massive antenna for talking to aliens, I think.

Anyway, on the way back we had an interesting conversation about her. So she says she's completely broken up from the terrible S and is looking forward to a new life. Of course, she's also afraid and wants to run back to him. I dunno, I think it's good she's out of it. But that's just me. S was a terrible individual, IMHO, and wasn't deserving of the lovely C. Now here's the weird part. I want to seduce the lovely C. Now wait, I don't mean seduce in the negative sense that the word usually implies. I just would like it if we could date eachother and find a mutually successful, deeply spiritual, but also physical, boy-girl relationship. I can't help it, really. But I'm thinking, if I go and try this now, that would just be mean! Like, just after a difficult breakup, with the chance to discover herself and what she wants to do, who am I to get in the way of that. So finally we get back to my place, and I should have invited her in for dinner, but of course my brain is just not fast enough to think of that in time. (Crap!) So I give her a big, strong fuzzle before I go, and she returns it, just as strongly. As we retract from the hug moments later, our eyes meet and there's a little *zing* of electricity. What the hell was that?!?! Oh shit. Now what am I going to do? But she drives off and I go into the house.

So yeah, my life is going pretty good but also pretty bad. The moment is good, the future is unclear. It's the future that I am trying to drop from my life, because the future comes on its own. I've got to hold onto the moment, because the moment is infinitely sweet, and filled with the thousand joys of life. Or something.

Well its officially do or die time for me, my senior paper is due today, and hopefully I won't have to do my presentation this afternoon because I don't hardly remember any of the BS that I wrote in it. I think I did a pretty good job on it and having it c!hinged with an Rep of 15 right now really helped me guys (I love ya guys, I really love ya) What? No Bud Light? Damnit.... :)

This will be updated later, after my English 4 class

Update 2:48 EST:
Well i turned it in found out that I can't use the notecards I made for notes during my presentation, so looks like im not done yet... I'm going to have to type up a big long list of notes just because the teacher has to have it her way. Great.

14:32

Last night I did nothing remarkable. Just split the YiffCam news system apart from YiffCam and gave it a fear-inducing, marketable name. Muahahahahaaa. (Laugh of an Evil Hacker) The name is "leanweblog".

Then, I had a dream. Something about sheds and Black & White.

Today? I got a hair cut. Suddently, my eyesight and hearing became 100 times more accurate. Go figure.

Sitting in UNIX lab and planning to do actually useful things...

15:04

I noticed a banner ad that had stuff that looked like a scrollable pane, with instuctions "scroll down to view more..." ... user tries to scroll, but of course, it's not a real scrollable area, just a picture, and ends up clicking the ad.

Clever. Too bad my scrollbars look different.

23:37

This has been a REALLY short day. I just finished reading Usenet stuff. =( I think I'll go to sleep earlier. Or something.

Oh, BTW, I remember something about the dream I had... so I made a dreamlog.

Now, I'll try to make my Freenet node to work. Good night. =)


Other day logs o' mine...

Noded today by y.t.: friend Dream Log: April 23, 2001

Pain is your body’s warning mechanism. This is what I tell myself on Day 11 of Rehabilitation (I’ve got 13 days). So, there is still something wrong/not-right with me. Rehab: implies some sort of re-education, overhaul, time-out to get better.

So – what’s different? I am still in pain and discomfort. Albeit the character of it still changes every few days. Pain makes one very introspective. Something that I don’t need more of.

This is scary: I’ve got TWO physiotherapists (one is a Feldenkrais practitioner), a massage therapist, an occupational therapist and a musculoskeletal specialist looking after me. Goodness knows how I got myself into this situation.

It's like I’ve just ran myself into the ground and now I’m depending on these people to pick me up again. NO NO NO – I’m supposed to be taking charge of my life.

Time to take charge, MK!


This is to kick myself because other people don’t do it for me.

Another glorious weekend has passed. Weekends like the last weekend will become more and more scarce as the children grow up, but I can enjoy them for now.

My wife and daughter were out of town for the weekend, so my son and I got to spend the whole weekend playing together. Ahhhhhhh. I don't have the energy of a five year old anymore, but I can still have fun.

We started out with a walk in the park. It was kind of a rainy day, so there were not many other people in the park. The nature trails were very quiet. We could walk through and talk about nature without any disturbances. Things were so peacefull the squirrels and chipmunks were out in full force. For a five year old, he is extremely well versed on a variety of topics. We managed a two hour walk and did not talk about Pokemon once. :)

After the walk was the obligatory trip to McDonalds. I really don't care for the food, but the whole experience is geared towards children. He likes the "food" and loves the playroom. He'll patiently sit and eat his food because he knows he's not allowed to play until the food is gone. While he's in the playroom, it's a good chance for me to sit and get my legs back from the walk. Just a few yes, I can see you waves once in a while and he's a happy camper.

We spent the rest of the day building Lego robots. The R2-D2 robot from the Droid Developer Kit was pretty cool. The model does not look very sharp, but what it lacks in form, it makes up for in function. The Micro Scout RCX has 7 built in programs that really make for an active model quite quickly. With just a flashlight R2 can exibit 7 different behaviours. A few were quite simple, but just the thing to engage a five year old mind. After a bit of playing around, he started to understand what was going on, and started to play what if with R2. I could see the gears turning in his mind as he tried to hack R2 and see if he could get some unexpected results. He was able to get R2 in such a position that he would respond to the hall light. Nothing suprising, but still a good use of the existing environment instead of the flashlight. Enough to make me proud.

And then the macaroni and cheese. For those worried about our health, we also had oranges.

After dinner, we went for the Holy Grail. Lego Mindstorms. As longtime readers will note, I had some slight troubles with my Mindstorms. However, I digress. We had a great time with that. We built the robot that detects the edges of the table and turns to avoid falling off. We were building on a round table, and that lead to some problems. Both of the sensor arms would drop off the table and the robot would stop. We played around with it for a bit, boucing ideas off each other and just generally trying new things. It was fun. When that got old, we played with the light sensor and mounted it on the robot. When it got to the table edge, it would stop. We didn't go onto make it change course, but we discussed the idea. He began to ask the important questions, "How does it work?" and the like. We discussed programming a little bit, and he seemed interested. That was fun.

By this time, it was time for Iron Chef. He was starting to get pretty tired, but managed to hang in for the first half of IC. He drifted off to sleep on the couch and I carried him into his bedroom and tucked him in after IC was over.

Sunday was just a nice day of playing games and watching cartoons. He wanted to build more robots, but I talked him into going outside and kicking a ball around for a bit. That was more for my benefit than his. I don't want him to totally geek out at five and I can use the running around. Together he and I can find the balance between physical and mental exercise.

It was a good time for the both of us, and really pointed out to me how good my life is. Just the sort of thing I needed.

A good weekend happened to me. I got laid twice, I laughed, I cried, I spent time with friends, I node-spreed, I felt loved, cherished, and accepted.

A bad weekend happened to me too. I took my beautiful, wonderful, adorable, sweet Rottie to the vet and he 95% confirmed that she has hip dysplasia. She cries when she gets up from laying down for a while, and last weekend, developed a limp after playing hard and comes up the steps now like an old lady.

She also has some incontinence after heavy exercise. He gave me some holistic medicine for both, and also a serious pain killer that I can use when she is having a lot of pain. I am really sad about this, because she is the best dog I have ever had, so obedient, just perfect. The pain killer definitely works, I had to use it already, but although she still struggles to get up, she isn't crying anymore.

This is the first dog I've allowed myself to become attached to - really attached - since I had a chihuahua when I was 12 or 13. And now I get to watch her decline and struggle with her bad breeding for a number of years. I should consider myself - and herself - lucky. My chihuahua was killed by a car, and there were no choices to make - but I would take this choice over that one any day.

The chaotic feelings are getting easier to deal with - I guess ambivalence is the flavor of the year.
It's lighter today. The gloomy mood from the weekend has sorta passed away, and I'm readjusting to society again. Today is my birthday. I turn 23 years old. I got some congrats from friends and family. My homie Hanne sent a SMS picture of a birthday cake and a cute message. My ex sent me a SMS that talked and talked but said nothing.

The good stuff is the article I wrote yesterday. It's currently the most read net-paper article in Norway, and I feel that it was a job well done.

I hate it when my friends try to play matchmaker...

A week or two ago, my friend Cheli decided that there was a guy that goes to school with her that I'm destined to be with (or something), so of course, she had to arrange that we start talking to each other on AIM after she showed us pictures of each other. All was going fine, in fact, all was going great... I "intrigued him", and he did the same to me.

Then I got the dumb idea that I should visit her at school, and meet him in person. He picked me up from the bus station, and we were getting along really well, talking about random shit and just having a good time. The rest of Friday went much the same way, so I was in a pretty good mood. I didn't see him much on Saturday, and that was fine, but I knew we were going to go out and watch the stars in a large group of people, so naturally... being the pathetic girl that I am, I just assumed that if I had an attraction, and he seemed to have an attraction, then something might fall into place. No... definitely not. I spent the whole evening worrying about it, but decided finally that maybe it was the whole "shyness factor" thing, and that I'd talk to him about it on AIM when I got back to Maryland.

Instead, I'm awakened the next morning by my best friend's suitemate calling her (she was away for the weekend), and while pretending to be asleep, listen to her go on and on about how things just won't work out between me and Brian. Gee, Cheli, thanks for telling me that to my face.

So of course, I have to sit there and be upset about it for the rest of the morning, and well into the evening. He saw pictures of me (not even really good ones at that), he told me over and over that he really liked talking to me, and then suddenly, I meet him in person and I'm not good enough? What the hell? I don't know what on earth I did wrong... I acted completely naturally around him (although I was definitely a bit shy), I really enjoyed talking to him in person, and I thought he was a really great guy. I'm trying very hard not to take it personally, but that certainly feels like a direct stab to my ego. Do I not dress good enough for him? Am I not funny enough? Do I lack something that I am just not aware of? It doesn't help that he's still really nice to me... that means that there just wasn't enough of something in me for him to find "intriguing" anymore, but enough of something there for him to at least want me as a friend. Maybe I worry too much... maybe I'm too sensitive... but I've spent the whole evening in a mood darker than hell, because somehow, somehow, I'm just not good enough. Thanks.

Happy 437th Birthday, William Shakespeare!


Go ahead and downvote--the man was a genius.
Three cheers for work!
I wanted to call in this morning, I really did....but I always need the money and the opportuniy cost of missing a day kills my bank account. I figured out something yesterday, the fuel gauge in my car is broken. I put three dollars worth of gas, and it still read "Low Fuel." One day those bastards at Chrystler will pay! To any noder reading this, NEVER BUY A CHRYSTLER! I thought I'd share some consumer tips, driving a Chrystler is more expensive in the long run than smoking. I am not kidding.

I took my time with Leslie, when she worked at the bar, I never asked her out. But the club closed, so I asked her out last night. I am happy to say, my patience was rewarded. Patience in realtionships is vital, but patience serves as a doormat sometimes too. Women have always told me to be patient, and I've watched those same women trounce patient men. The statement should be, "respect yourself, then be patient".....I've seen dumbasses have their hearts torn out, and then Mexican hat dances done around them from the chest cavities of good men. There's a flipside to this, I've seen guys dog out some of the nicest women I have ever met. OK, this has been said too many times.....stop writng Suckapant, NOW! Third person thoroughly

I am officially going to the University of California, Berkeley. Woo hoo!

This was not an easy decision, it was between Berkeley and Santa Barbara. I've always wanted to go to Berkeley, but then Santa Barbara offered me their Regents scholarship. Santa Barbara is closer to home, has warmer weather, and would be less expensive. But Berkeley is the best public school in the country (if someone disagrees let me know) and it has a very different atmosphere. So I decided to embark on a mission this weekend to find out which one I would attend in the fall. I went to Santa Barbara on friday, and when I got there it was mildly warm. No one was around because it was the morning and 4-20 for that matter. The campus is very beautiful, and the beach is very close. I talked to someone there about my future major, math, and all the opportunities I would have there to do research and such. It all seemed very appealing, and the dorms were even ok. It made my decision that much harder, which I didn't appreciate. For years I had wanted to go to Berkeley and that was supposed to be it. I had always thought that as soon as I received my acceptance letter from Berkeley, (as arrogant as I am, there was never a doubt in my mind that they would reject me) I would be set to go. Damnit.

I went to Berkeley on Saturday, and it was very confusing because I didn't know where the campus was, even when I was right on it. This is because you cannot tell the difference between the city of Berkeley and the University, because it is all mixed together. Very different from any college I had gone to before. The campus was also very beautiful, and very big. It was also a gorgeous day outside. Alot of people were out rallying their causes in the central area. I could see anything from Buddhists to Lesbians to Democrats, all within a ten foot radius. Maybe a few were even Buddhist Lesbian Democrats for all I knew. It didn't matter. Strangely, one of the highlights was when this tall black guy came up to me and asked for a hug. I gave him one, and remembered why I thought Berkeley was so cool. Being surrounded by those type of people is why I want to go to CalBerkeley. And it is far away from home, ten hours by car. And it's Berkeley.

I have no idea why I even considered going anywhere else. It's the best, and I deserve to be there just as much as the next guy. I belong there.

The mood is melancholy.

Watching movies like City of Angels doesn't help, of course. Listening to Dido doesn't either.

Fact is, I like this. At times I like feeling like this.

Funny, my eyes are full of tears now, I'm literally crying here. And I have no idea exactly why. But it feels good. Just to let go, let the pain buried deep down inside just float up. Just for a while, before it is forced down again.

There's no other place I'd rather be... she sings.

There is. Oh, yes, there is. But there's more to it than just that. More to it than lost childhood memories, a lost home country, a lost love.

It's spring. I should be getting over this down. But not yet.

Tonight I'm melancholy. By choice. Because I like it.

And it's not so bad, it's not so bad... she sings.

Today is my birthday: I am 51. That means I am now officially more than half a century old. Feels pretty cool. :)

it's Monday, so the old protesters are at it again, trying to close down the video store that (gasp!) sells porn in a hidden back room.

it was a rough weekend. a conversation with an old friend sent me into a deep depression that lasted all weekend. i was obnoxious to everyone around (ok, more obnoxious), and was ready to give up music forever.

today i talked briefly to a friend of mine. we were lovers once; we've long since passed into the realm of friends. she's been going through something of a breakdown. she's recently split with her love of several years, and is planning to move to the other side of the country now, away from the city that has been her home nearly all of her life.

But one thing struck me above all. She cut off all of her hair.

She didn't shave it, just cut it close. The trauma was that she had been growing it for sixteen years.

I went home and looked in the mirror. My hair was getting long for me; i buzz it down with a trimmer every so often, but that's about it.

I pulled out the trimmer and shaved it down to stubble.

I then took out a regular razor and shaved the rest of it down to the skin.

My ancestors have seen to it that a second look would remove most doubts that my haircut signals "white power". But it still garners looks.

Then, i plugged my guitar into its amp and started to jam for a while.

It may not be as radical a change, but as little as twelve hours ago, i was barely ready to face the world at all, let alone pick up the guitar again.

Maybe it was something making me stronger by not killing me. But a depression that dark is not my preferred way of growing stronger.

hail eris and holy chao!

it's the 23rd of the month, and once again the great, unfathomable patterns of the universe have decided that things should change. *shrug* nothing terribly radical. just time to slow down and do, instead of worrying. time to do laundry, write papers, and maybe even wash the floor. then, next week, it will be time to take the server rack apart to make room for the file cabinet that's sitting in my living room, and have a mad drive-juggling adventure while i decide which machine the new 20GB drive goes in! (thanks, thistle!) just time to get liminal.

let me take a moment to sing the praises of the admin who handles my system out in san jose. thistle, darling, you're wonderful. how many people would spontaneously send me a hard drive and two distributions of linux? not many. you are a goddess, my dear. you keep the mail functioning, and usually the ftp server as well. (but while it's up, i think it's not serving right now...restart the daemon?) forgive my soliloquizing, but she's smart, and cute, and she likes ocelots. if i knew her size, i'd buy her a new dress for her birthday. some nice piece of red brocade...she likes pretty things. or maybe i'll just copy all the wack-ass mac games i have and send those. it's hard to shop for the smart girl who has everything.

but my day consisted of eating a whole jar of jalapeno stuffed olives while labelling envelopes at work.not a bad day, on the whole. a compatriot of mine mailed me some attractive pornography; i shall have to make something useful of it. wrote the first diplomatic code of the new dominion at west egg...in four fits. (a tribute to carroll's "hunting of the snark")

procrastinating now...so much to do, so little time...and somehow, the less time there is, the more often it is wasted. i should go do something productive now.

Warmth! Sunshine! Sweet giver of life!
The North Country was beautiful today. Seventy degrees and sunny.

I woke at six thirty in the morning after three or four hours (gaugh!) of sleep to an unspectacular sunrise. I never really get to see sunrises that much anymore; was a little miffed at one that was nothing write home about.

Didn't eat anything until noon due to a schedule that I'd rather not dive into; stomach began to devour itself. Errands, papers, obligations, fuck. Was completely drained by dinner-time. Went into town to walk by the river and clear my head. Saw a '70 Plymouth '‘Cuda—drool, slobber, whine like a pup—and walked in the wrong direction for a couple blocks just to stare at it. This is a pleasure reserved for those of us who appreciate a piece of Detroit art. While observing it I noticed the keys were in the ignition. Maintained fantasies of driving off into the sunset at the wheel of the beast. Eventually sulked away after wondering what kind of idiot would leave a car like that with the equivalent of an enormous “STEAL ME” sign on its windshield. It's strange, you'd never know I was a car nut from looking at me...

Tonight I was overwhelmed by an intense desire to do my laundry, even the stuff at the bottom of the hamper that I've put off due to lack of motivation. At least I'm accomplishing something.

On the way back from the laundry room I stopped at a friend’s place to take up her offer of a drink or two. All she had was Southern Comfort, which I despise but I still helped myself to some and am now mildly drunk and will most likely regret writing whilst intoxicated. I pray my English does not leave me; I'd hate to begin typing in tongues.

I feel pretty good. I suppose I should proclaim this for posterity: I feel okay. I that past few days I've seen my mood improve to the point where I'm not jittery and panicky and avoiding contact with other lifeforms. this is not to say that I am feeling great, but it is a great leap between "lousy" and "fine." It's a shock to wake up and find that things aren’t so bad.

Things to look forward to: a visit from Beautiful Girl, and end to all of this useless plodding through papers and unit plans, a summer all to myself and a pretty girl to spend the night with every evening. Why not look forward to things to come?

I'm now officially drunk, and should not be writing this.

/me theatrically pulls one hand away from keyboard with the other.

A productive day with Habitat, but not a very good one. About 9 months ago, before I started volunteering, two houses were built beside each other in Urbancrest, south of Columbus. No one could move in to them though because, despite the city plans showed them reaching, the sewers stopped about forty feet short. It was going to cost 40,000 to extend them. Through enough argument and time we finally had them built for 12,000.

In the nine months the two homes were not occupied by humans, some ducks decided it was theirs. From the looks of the place they had a pretty wild time. It wasn't until after the sewers were dug that the vandals and thieves had their way with them. Either way we got a four page punch-out list, a list of fixes that need to be made, per house to fulfill before families move in. Many of the fixes were just things that the initial builders did poorly or wrong... very frustrating. We hardly knew where to begin... well, after cleaning up after the ducks that is.

Happy 446th Birthday, William Shakespeare!

~ It's been 9 years since no one has posted on this topic but I thought it'd be nice to mention William Shakespeare again since he's pretty awesome.
Supposedly he passed away on the same date he was born? My friends tell me that's just nonsense or possibly a controversial topic that no one really elaborated on.

I was also born on this birthday but I sure hope I don't die on the day I was born. Just because.
Happy future birthday to any of those who's birthday is also on the 23rd of April! :)

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