Say a prayer for your lizardinlaw.

Went to the emergency room at 2 am for throat closing down. I got iv steroids. They think grief reaction. Right now any talking triggers it. No work this week.

It is scary. So I have to be silent. Not my best skill, eh?

I am not reading message, tired, have to do zen meditation breathing all the time to keep swelling down.

Been building up to crash over last 2 months, couldn't even listen to memorial. Crying makes it swell closed too. Sigh. Save the crying, it will keep.

bye for now.


....tired. vocal cords finally relaxed. antibiotics and loving friends kicked in....

Not all that much has happened since my last daylog. The film I was working on is obviously finished by now, and I'm pretty happy with it; it's certainly not the best script I've ever written, but the technical side of the production went very, very well. The ADR especially sounds great -- the best I've ever done, actually, and I can't think of how I'd improve on it since it basically sounds perfect now. James's new guitarist Mike adds a lot to the music, so it actually sounds a bit more like a real band and a bit less like one dude with a keyboard. Not to suck my own dick too much, but this project has really filled me with renewed confidence in my ability to get stuff done on schedule, especially compared to other "filmmakers" I've had the misfortune of working with (the vast majority of whom are extremely disorganized and frustrate the entire cast on a constant basis). Basically everything went as planned, and delays on one side of the equation always got balanced out by speediness on the other side. I really feel like my team and I improve every day -- and that's the best feeling to have.

Aside from that, though, not a whole lot else has been going on. I've been looking for a new house to rent next year, and I finally found one. I'm moving my furniture this weekend and getting the utilities set up before I head back to my hometown for the summer. I completely failed to find solid summer work last year, but I think things are going to be better this time round since I'm a) not depressed and fighting with my best friend this time, b) not as much of a pothead loser anymore (I never was really, since I did do a lot last summer, but I wasted way too much money on frivolous shit), and most importantly c) I have a place I can stay in Ottawa if I need to, so my job search will have a wider reach. I'm still as happy to get back home as I was in the last daylog, though I know it's going to be short-lived: every trip home is always the same, where I spend the first two weeks loving it then the rest of the time wishing I was back home. Then when I'm home I'm happy for two weeks and spend the rest of the time wishing I was with my family. Grass is always greener, I guess.

Oddly, on the subject of the word "home"... it's a strange word. When I first moved away, I still thought of my parent's house as home, but the first time I went back to my hometown to visit, I found that everyone in the family was referring to my new city as my home. People kept saying, "Oh, make sure to pop by before you go home!" And I thought, "But I am home..." It's strange to me, because I haven't felt especially comfortable living with my parent(s) since I was 16 or so, but it still took me a while to think of a different place as being mine. Even when I lived alone during high school, the house was still at least nominally owned by my mother. Eh. A lot of it is just my age and funds, I think; I've never had an opportunity to make my home look like home, outside of a few posters and a movie collection.

I've always loved the not-as-famous-as-it-should-be Bill Condon quote: "How young were you when you no longer thought of your parents' home as your own?" Someone should write that node.

It's funny that for all I wrote about my family in the last daylog, I didn't mention my dog at all. He's actually one of the family members I'm looking forward to seeing the most, because, well, I can't even talk to him on the phone! I've basically always had a dog growing up, and I love them. One of the key reasons I'm getting a summer job (though I'm aware it's a stupid reason) is that I want to be able to afford a dog this year. Sadly, it'll have to be a newly adopted one, because I can't take my current one with me; I left him with my one-year-old sister in 2009 when I first moved to Windsor, and now she's so utterly attached to him that I wouldn't dream of taking him away. He's basically hers now. Plus, he loves the great outdoors that my mom's house provides, and I don't want to take that away from him, especially since he was abused by his former master and is most likely going to die in the next year or two. He should have the chance to live out the end of his life in a place that makes him happy, not cramped in my tiny house sitting on my lap as I post on Everything2.

So, I'll get a new dog, and eventually I'll fall in love with that one and everything will be a-okay, I guess. This must be how human/elf couples in fantasy books feel. (Sorry, forgot to hide my nerd for a second there.)

Not much else to say. I've had a couple of weird dreams -- one of which involved my being a witness to a murder and trying to explain what happened using Lego while my lawyer covertly bribed the judge with cocaine -- but nothing so great that I can write a dream log about it. Hopefully my life will be less dull to read about in the future.

Interesting day yesterday, came home feeling like a million bucks and one of the most powerful man in the world.

An hour-long ’meeting’ led to a nod from an esoteric fraternity older than history in the bible. This is the first step of many to become well-refined man and practitioner of ancient knowledge. I do not feel I will undergo my transformation this year, but after I feel established myself better, I feel like I will attend their meetings more often and hope they will teach me their ways.

As with everything, there are degrees of involvement and requirements for acceptance, many of them unspoken to the uninitiated. However, I meet the basic tenets, and have a certain drive and willingness to participate in any society I enter.

I think I will go far and fast, but for now, I will allow my dreams to carry me as I soar in the heavens.

Log in or registerto write something here or to contact authors.