April 13, 2006

Divinity

It is raining kitchen sinks.
Porcelain, brass, and steel fixtures,
falling,
end over end,
out of billowing, glossy catalogues.

This is unfortunate for the albino children,
who I created yesterday,
the ones who sing in colors.

The objects slice through the shuddering, prismic cloud,
the death howl the children make,
as they are torn apart by my whim.
In the future I must take care,
when starting sentences with "I Wish."

I swear I think I reek of pheromones right now.

I have been restless all day.. spent most of it bickering over something stupid with some friends online and am still a little grouchy about it. Tried to get work done but just couldn't keep my mind on anything for more than ten minutes at a stretch. Deadlines are looming and I am frantic about getting everything done on time, but I just.. can't make myself do it.

I end up at a friend's house tonight, a bad idea with all the things I need to do. And especially so, because this particular house and all that I associate with it (past parties and relationships) seems to bring my hormones surging to the surface. I love to flirt, and I really can't help myself there; the best I can do is simply tone it down to a minimum.

I finally take my leave, and as I get into the car and begin driving home, all I can think of is the secret lover I've been trying not to see for the past month or so.
So here I sit, unable to work, unable to concentrate on anything... radiating pheromones like nothing else... and glad it's so late at night that I won't have to interact with people until morning. In moods like this it's impossible for me to keep my mouth shut, to resist those little flirtatious comments and gestures.

I always want what I can't have - and I want it so badly I can't think of anything else. Dammit, why now?

"Get out of the house, I'm having sex with your mom."

Every day in America hundreds of kids and underdeveloped adults hear these words. There are possibly more in Europe and Australia. Why do so many kids who just want to have a bologna sandwich and some Sunny Delight and maybe play gin rummy with their mothers have to hear these words?

I have some theories which I will put forth now. I think sometimes these words are meant as a sign of affection between loving couples but that isn't what I will go on about now. What I will go on about now is dirty filling station attendants and mall security personnel coming into broken homes and having sex with kids' moms.

What kind of human being deliberately has sex with a kid's mom? And what kind of human being goes into a kid's house and touches the bottom of the mother of one or more kids and then tells the kid or kids to get out of the house so he can continue the sexual advances leading up to intercourse and anal play? As Americans we need to look into this issue. We need to spend a lot more time looking into it before more kids end up on drugs.

There are more hardlinks in the first paragraph of this daylog than in any other paragraph due to easily recognizable words.

When I was a youngster growing up in post war Germany, these sort of activities involving gas station attendants and deli workers coming into houses and having sex with your mom did not happen. There was also not any Internet and there was a very safe wall running through my beloved Berlin. The rise in questionable persons coming into houses and having sex with your mom while telling you to get out of the house while he did his nasty business is likely on the rise because of one or both of these hard cold facts. We have to either erase everything on the Internet or put the wall back up or both depending on which is responsible.

Here is how it progresses and I have seen it with my own eyes while sitting and having lunch at an outdoor cafe near Faidley's in old Baltimore. I watch a woman having a drink and a salad when a character wearing a jumpsuit or supermarket uniform approaches her. He will then buy her another drink while moving his thumb and index finger around his crotchal area to highlight the size of his manly organ. She then nods, finishes the bought drink and then takes him home. There they give the kids some coinage and send them to the arcade or movies. You can guess the rest.

This must stop. Erase the Internet now.

I was at a convenience store recently purchasing smoked walnuts and cheese of questionable origin when I took note of two youths in the parking lot smoking cigarettes and fiddling with an obviously stolen cellular telephone. I asked them why they weren't doing their homework and watching quality network television programs and supporting the president through the dark days he's been seeing lately. They responded to me that they were asked to leave the house because an employee of the Greater Baltimore Park System was having sex with their mom. They had been asked to leave and were given ten dollars to spend while they were away. Their mom met this "man" on the Internet.

Erase the Internet now. This is your last chance. Think of your mom. Also, think about your ex-wife and all the characters she's been letting having intercourse with her lately without protection. Do you have any idea how often your ex-wife is getting hard banged in the bed you bought with her? Your children know because of the Internet and that awful little phrase heard all too often in today's America, Europe and parts of Australia.

"Get out of the house, I'm having sex with your mom."

For shame. We need more laws about marriage and fewer guys kissing other guys in public. For shame. For punishment go and think about how often your ex-wife and former girlfriends are having sex with characters and ask yourself why she is enjoying it more than she did when she was with you. Erase the Internet now.

For the last hour or so, I have been dicking around with Google Calendar, which our Google Labs Overlords released upon us today, I think. My first question was how do I get my appoinments into it without retyping. Problem #1: We use GroupWise here at work, and as of this writing GCalendar (term is mine; I've not seen anyone else call it this) only accepts imports in iCal and CSV (Outlook) formats. There is no obvious or easy way to export data from GroupWise into these formats. So after some googling around, I found a kludgey way to do it. Step #1: Tell IntelliSync to send my appointments to Palm (PDA) Desktop instead of GroupWise. Step #2: Hotsync my Palm. Step #3: Export my calendar in DBA format from Palm Desktop. Step #4: Import the DBA file into Yahoo!'s calendar. Step #5: Export the Yahoo! calendar data into a CSV file. Step #6: Import the CSV file into Google calendar.

Step #7 was unexpected and very disappointing. I had to spend the next half hour or forty five minutes un-fucking all the appointments. First, everything was offset by three hours or so, even though all systems (Google, my desktop, my Palm) are set to the same time zone. Second, many appointments were on the wrong date.

So my first impressions of Google's latest "killer app" aren't that high. I mean, Yahoo! has an IntelliSync widget you can download and install that allows you to HotSync directly to their calendar. I didn't use this because I would have had to uninstall my current IntelliSync that interfaces with GroupWise. While I won't be a spoiled brat and huff about how Google didn't take into consideration users of one of the most popular PDAs on the market. It's pretty nifty as it is. I just hope they have some sort of interface on their to-do list.

Some things that are cool are (of course) the fast AJAX interface, which, like Google Maps among other apps, makes the whole experience as fast and easy as a desktop application (no postbacks to the web server, at least in the foreground). Also cool is what I call the Evite killer, the ability to invite people to an event you set up. This feature, along with the ability to make multiple calendars on your account and make them public, could give Meetup a little trouble. I mean, why pay $10 a month, when my go club and I can just interact through GCalendar? I mean, this is free groupware/collaboration software, right? What does Meetup do? You set up events, announce them to your members, and have reminders sent periodically. GCalendar can do all that. The only downer is that right now there is no interactivity with your Gmail contacts list. In other words, you have to add all the invitees manually the first time. After that, they pop up once you start typing their address, just like Gmail. What GCalendar doesn't seem to have is all the organizer support and bulletin board stuff, like polls, surveys, message boards, private messaging, and so forth. But if you don't care about that stuff, then why use Meetup at all?

Contrary to the snarky comments that I have occasionally received from Klaproth, I have never written a daylog before and I probably never will again (unless it is to contradict something that I write here today).

Here's the story: I am not feeling well. I have not felt well for a while. Recently, I have developed a pain in the area of what I suppose is my spleen. It really only hurts if I rotate my chest in a certain direction and it seems to be getting better, so maybe it's nothing. I really have no way of knowing; neither I nor my family has any health insurance and based on the money I have in the bank (or perhaps more appropriately, the lack thereof) I cannot afford to see a doctor right now. I am more than one thousand dollars in debt owing to a hospital visit from last year and I can't risk creating another financial strain on myself at the moment.

Why I'm writing this: I am worried that whatever this is might kill me. I can't do anything about it at the moment. If in the future you look at my "Last Seen" date and more than two weeks have elapsed, don't count on me to come back anytime soon. If that is the case and I don't respond to any messages sent to me, don't wait for a response (for the obvious reasons).

I have never been an advocate for socialized medicine. I guess this has to do mainly with the fact that I only ever went to the hospital a couple of times as a kid and, based on that, I became convinced that it wasn't really necessary. I'm not advocating it now either, simply because I generally don't think the United States government could be trusted to competently handle medical affairs. I do regret, however, that every other country in the industrialized world can somehow manage it and we can't even approach the topic. I'm hardly a liberal, but even I'm scratching my head over this one.

Anyway, the main thrust of this daylog: if I'm gone for a long time, I'm dead. I hope I can write another daylog in a week or two to say "everything is fine." I'm not whining or looking for sympathy, but just stating it as a matter of fact for those who might want to contact me but cannot for the reasons mentioned above.