So I came to school, and Henry Clay was rioting in the halls about all the sectionalism going on in my school. I knew things were bad between the upperclassmen and the lowerclassmen, but not this bad. A meeting was called to place a protective tariff on our half of the school. Our student body president placed an embargo declaring no trading phone numbers with the underclassmen. DAMN! Wasn't going to get the cute freshman's phone number this week.

My day came to a head when a war was declared and a few War Hawks called a convention in the cafeteria declaring secession from the rest of the school. There were some crucial matters arising when we learned that there would be no homecoming this year due to the veto on the school-wide treasury. Some fools they were.

Call me a Federalist, but I'm sick of all this grade-sovereignity crap. One student body president rules us all. So, the Treaty of Cent was signed, and I went home a Nationalist. The education industry is booming down at my school now. That's all I can account for today.

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