Ammon... now he was one cool guy. And he had nothing to do with this Egypt
ian deity. I'm talking about Ammon the Missionary
! I'm talking about the Mr.T
of The Book of Mormon
You might have to be Mormon, or more correctly, LDS to understand this, but Ammon is every other person's favorite Book of Mormon Character. He's right up there with Nephi and Moroni. Because when you're a little tomboy in primary (sunday school for those under twelve) Ammon is the epitome of cool.
So Ammon went out on a mission to go share the gospel with the Lamanites. He realized that the best way to get people to listen to you is not to talk -- a tricky concept to understand, but worthwhile.
He went into service under the Lamanite King as a servant and shepherd, helping out wherever he was needed. Some Bad Guys had a bad habit of going up and scattering the king's flocks. Then the servants would show up sheep-less and the king would get mad and kill them. Can you see the appeal of this story? It's already got good guys and bad guys and gore. Just wait, it gets better.
So Ammon went out one day with the servants to herd the sheep. Inevitably, the bad guys showed up, whooping and hollering and creating a ruckus. Well, Ammon wasn't going to stand for that! He pulled out his sling, and like David and Goliath, Pow! One two three four five six down!
Understandably, the Bad Guys didn't like to see six of themselves felled by one weeny little Nephite who likes to preach. So they went at him with clubs. Did that phase Ammon? No, Ammon was tough and righteous.
He disarmed them.
Quite literally. He pulled out his sword and whenever somebody tried to hit him with a club, he'd cut off their arm. Except for the Boss bad guy, who he killed. The rest just got delimbed.
So then the servants gathered up the arms (and of course, an infinite number of puns surround this story ... "Let's go show these to the king! Here, lend me hand") and showed them to the King so that he could see what a Righteous Dude Ammon was. And the king was mightily impressed.
So he wanted to see Ammon and thank him profusely for disarming the Bad Guys. Where was Ammon? Not only was Ammon tough, he was humble. He was out mucking out the stables, because that was his job.
Anyway, he proceeded to convert the king and perform a great many miracles. But once you've cut off the arms of a host of Bad Guys, well, you can't top that kind of reputation.
So that was my favorite Book of Mormon story for you all. What a cool guy.