Last week, I embarked on a free trip
paid for by the NYU Stern School of Business
--filled with sex, drugs, y jamon con queso.
Got to the airport
the requisite 2 hours before departure, and checked in-- the plane didn't leave until 7 hours later, thanks to the industriousness of government-owned Iberia
airlines. I got my wallet stolen on the plane (this was the first sign of a doomed trip) with a few hundred in cash, credit cards, drivers liscence, and a Starbucks frequent coffee
card (and I had 10 holes punched in it and was about to get a free one).
did not bother me too much. But I will personally fuck up-with-a-blunt-stick
the person who takes my coffee.
Proceed to the Hotel Chamartín
, and singlehandedly double the entire Asian population of Madrid
. Sleep. Go out, and consume massive amounts of red bull vodka
s. Fast forward through 4 days of exactly the same thing, basically being touristy
, being hit on by only the strange spanish
guys, going to museums.
I went with some ibankers to a suspicious establishment called 'Stripers
' (with the 'i' in the sign in the shape of a naked woman
), which was rather sketchy in itself. All I can say is that most of them had teeth.
A friend gets his drink spiked
with date rape
drugs at a gay bar, we get into a fight with the bouncers at Kapital
, and I get offered a job in research at high yield bonds
because of my ability to hold my liquor and bullshit
with the boys. (I found out that actual skill and education
gets you next to nowhere on the job market). I lose my handspring visor
and stagger around like a doddery old fool
for a few days, until I adjust to life without information.
My attempt to lose weight was foiled by jamón, y más jamón. I got an internship, and can now drink without throwing up
. I know what its like to be a filthy American
tourist. I have refined my ass-kicking skills
Got stopped at customs
for my Davidoff
avoided a multiple-orifice strip search
I was amazed
by the preservation of history
in Madrid-- Coming from cities like New York
which has an impressive obsession to build rebuild and 'improve', and Taipei
which has mostly risen in the past 50 years, the very concept of antiquity
is rather foreign
One afternoon I got away from the Sternies
and wandered out to the hills
by myself. I got out of my car
on the side of a cobblestone
d road and walked through the countryside(because that's the only word I can find to describe it) among the olive trees
. It reminds me of Tuscany
but much cooler
. It was cool and rainy
. More subtle, less pretentious
All of the drinking
were then canceled out by this moment in Castilla
I hope that bastard
with my wallet is enjoying
his free coffee.