When I saw that Heisenberg was visiting Australia I had to do something: after secretly listening to his podcast for a year without contributing, I thought I couldn't just say 'hi' to him in person and maybe convince him to stop preaching liberal and antichristian ideas, so I thought it was better to try to convince him of the errors of his ways by stealth. I planted a GPS trojan in his MacBook via a rare Steely Dan track I offered him on Gnutella, started sending him subliminal messages by Pat Robertson, got access to his travel plans and easily followed him through Melbourne.

When he ambled towards The Arthouse you could sense his appreciative physiological responses, and he was obviously happy to see Blackpawn. In this wondrous PunkBunker BlackPawn and Swimmingmonkey entertained him with Kurt Vonnegut and afterwards fed him some excellent Indian food at the Gaylord's in Melbourne. I pretended to be a waiter and started playing Blue Monday on the restaurant stereo a lot.

The three of them just sat there, obviously enjoying their food before they spotted me, pointing their previously hidden atheist mindcontrol guns at me. I was able to say a quick prayer before I vanished silently through the rear entrance.

My next plan is to send him a mindcontrol probe hidden in his Secret Santa gift.

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