A guide to fun in South Africa

First off, if you are an overseas tourist, you'll most likely arrive in Johannesburg International Airport. As soon as you get your stuff, head to a car rental service (Avis is the best). If you have already found a place to stay, great. For those who haven't, Drive to Sandton (And have fun finding your way there through the insane mass of bypasses and highways) and look for a decent hotel. We recomend the intercontinental (+- $120/Night) or the michaelangelo ($300+/night).

Fun things done:
Found your way around
Amazed at the skyscrapers
Lauged at the Minubus taxi's/Bad South African Drivers

Now on day three, I reccomend a visit to one of our Malls. For more infomation, see South African Shopping Malls. You can easily spend a day at the many malls, especially if you have hard cash/credit cards. When you get back, dial 1027 for the directory. Find a tour service and ask to be taken to the Voortreker Monument, one of the many caves, or if you are a die hard shopper, ask for the Shopping Tour. You go to about 15 malls all over Jo'Burg with a group of tourists.

Of special note to the adventurous tourists is Soweto, a township deep in Johannesburg. Visit the Shebeens (Illegal pubs) and upper class side. The contrast really is amazing.

Fun things done:
Went to many malls
Succesfully Navigated the South African telecommunication service
Seen many world heritage sites
Went, braved and had fun in Soweto

First thing in the morning, dial South African Airways and organise a flight to Cape Town. If you're really strapped for cash, you can fly Sabena Nationwide of British Airways Comair. All airlines are safe and offer decent service, but SAA is the cream of the crop with New Boeing 737-800's, not 25+ year old airbusses.

When you're at the airport, take advantage of the ridiculously low prices on books, ect.

Fun things done:
Got yourself back to the airport
Flown luxury to Cape Town on SAA
Found yourself decent accomodation

At Cape Town, visit the Waterfront, the IMAX, Cape Point and the houses of Parliment. Cape Town also offers two oceans to enjoy, the cold Atlantic and the warm Indian Ocean. The place where these two oceans meet is called called Cape Point and is a major tourist joint. Surfing is also great. At night, go to one of the many clubs and bars.

Fun things Done: Waterfront
Cape Point
Surfing
Houses of Parliment
Clubbing

After all this fun, take the next flight back to wherever you came from, or stay. It was fun.

South Africa and the people in it

Everybody bad mouths everybody else at some point. We all get the short end of the stick sometimes.
Being originally Irish, i do get sick and tired of the 'Paddy' jokes from time to time, as well as the assumption that every Irishman drinks excessively.
This is not true
As a naturalized South African, i am proud of my adopted country and it's immeasurably manic rugby coaches. Yes, the taxis are a blight on the existence of the average motorist, but have you ever been to New York, or London?
A visit to South Africa, organized by a travel agent or other such group will not garner the best results. Any attempt to 'meet the people' should be done by yourself and not by a tour organizer.
South Africans, by and large, do not like tourists. However, should you find your way into a South African pub or bar, you will be treated amicably so long as you do not ask any questions about how often elephants are seen on the streets. I have only ever seen 3 elephants, and i had to go to Botswana to see them.

No visit to South Africa is complete without the mandatory Shebeen trip. Illegal bars are fun, but choose carefully, you and your wallet/wellbeing can and will be separated from your person should you venture into some of the seedier locations.
Ignore what people from Cape Town and Jo'Burg say about Durban, they are just plain dumb. Yes, Durban is slow and quiet(during the day), but the city comes alive at night, teeming with the kind of 'savage natives' that you mingle with at home.
There is a common quip regarding Durban, 'On the seventh day God rested, and said He unto Durban "Dont you guys do anything till i get back!"
It is mostly true. DO NOT hire a tour guide. Just go to the beach and strike up a conversation with someone who looks like they are from there. NB: they are easy to spot, slightly sunburned, sea-salt tangled hair and dagga(weed) induced grins. They will give you all the help and companionship you need.
Durbanites are the most garrulous people on Gods earth.

Have fun, but dont drink the water....we pee in it.