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Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "A four-foot-tall anthropomorphic spider with a jaunty top hat. The bastards running the shelter did indeed kill him to get their hands on what they thought was a genuine map to Neverland."

• How do cows get all their nutrients, when they only eat grass?
• He was confirming to himself that they were laughing with him after all
• How to get rid of spiders before they get rid of YOU
• Where did you get that hat?
• They did not forgive us, she thought. We will surely die.
• You thought the silent treatment was as cold as it could get
• Where do dogs get their Vitamin C from, when they don't eat fruits?
• The bastards got me but they won't get everybody
• If all you did was node, your writeups wouldn't be very interesting, would they?
• It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead
• and it gets lonely in the rain while they wait for their hook-up
• thoughts on the eve of a Red Hat installation
• I Thought I Was A Child
• The Story of the Envious Man and of Him Who Was Envied
• kill him dead; don't call me
• Let him hold out hope that someone or other might come. Then fuckin' kill him.
• No point in mentioning the bats, I thought. Poor bastard will see them soon enough.
• Oh my god! They killed Kenny!
• If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him
• What They Did to Princess Paragon
• Keeping beer cold in the Old West
• What They Did To the Desert People
• Round The Moon: 3: Their Place of Shelter
• Why can't they get out of The Matrix on cellular phones?
• Real hackers start their own IRC networks so that they can't be traced by the FBI
• their eyes meet for the first time, but they saw each other's hearts
• Can't Get You Out of My Thoughts
• they threw us all in a trench and stuck a monument on top
• The Saudis were terrified that someone was going to be a better Muslim than they were
• I woke up and thought it was Saturday
• more sure of all I thought was true
• i saw the ugliest thing in the world and thought it was neat-o
• Why have you shot him for pounding a corn hat?
• The smiles you smiled when you thought no one was looking
• I had to call my father this evening and tell him I was dying.
• I killed him today, he who does not exist
• When he was five, his father made him murder his imaginary friend.
• When you kill people they die
• Did the Japanese go and sit down and have dinner with Pearl Harbor before they bombed 'em?
• He comforted me when he thought I needed it, but never when I really did
• I did not miss what my body did not remember, until it was reminded
• Penn and Teller Get Killed
• I hope they kill me while I'm standing here, so I can die happy.
• Why I didn't get my driver's license until I was 18
• They managed to get to the moon despite it
• He was an ant on an ill-defined mission. She was the trapdoor spider of love.
• If we define things as unreal, they may still be real in their consequences
• to that end they offer you their bare bellies. pick up the knife.
• I was discovered by scientists, what will they call me?
• I was into them after they were hip
• I used to fly like peter pan, all the children flew when I touched their hands
• It's really very silly, I was thinking, they are all acting so weird
• Was I nearly as anti-consumerism as I had initially thought?
• Shaymus is older than I thought he was
• what I thought was going to be a turtleneck turned out to be a dickey
• Top Hat (user)
• I was trying to show him my insides, you know. I like to share.
• With him it was always like
• If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• When did everyone get so attractive?
• She was the cutest necromancer I ever did see
• my hands did nothing to replace yours.
• I feel the way bank robbers must feel before they go out on that last job that ends up getting them all killed. That is to say, optimistic.
• Now I know why I get the urge to kill her
• Strange man makes permanent visit
• Racing friends with fragile self esteem, or: A good way to get yourself killed
• Scientist hits head on curb joke
• Writers don't look for their big breaks. They write them.
• Cryonic companies who will freeze you if you get in the way of their plans for world domination
• They left the streets stained with blood, and their howling could be heard long after they were gone
• They Prayed to their Code To Give them Light
• I thought ALL women looked for a wedding ring when they talked to ANY man
• My hands have lost their memory
• That man was a sock puppet on the hand of God.
• How to give customers change
• I can't remember why I thought this was a bad idea
• The teachers thought I was insane
• Before I was consciously thinking of him, my body was
• I married him because he was not mean
• The sparkle of this angled blossoming was invading the Earth, and Vug said, "It's spring!" I kissed him.
• I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
• Loved him before anyone else thought of him at all
• The "Priest" They Called Him
• They killed our Lord
• A little Clint Black never killed anybody, but it did evacuate the building.
• The annoying kid told me to kick him so I did
• It did not get nicer, but it sure got a hell of a lot more honest
• The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill!
• (because this was always subconsciously the inspiration, even if I did not know it at the time, and I only realised it just now)
• Honk if your horn is broken: Where do they get these stupid stickers?
• How to get tree sap or pitch off your hands
• This was their finest hour
• The dark riders were not sleeping. They were only resting their eyes.
• Paper, rock, scissors. They all have their pros and cons.
• People can get stuff here that they can't get anywhere else.
• They wrote it all in perl but it was mostly system calls
• Most adults forget what it was like to be a child once they hit a certain age
• Dumb laws
• No matter where I was, whisps of you haunted my thoughts
• To a girl who thought she was moving away
• For 5 minutes precisely, I thought I was dead
• If you meet the Buddha on the road, ask him how far it is to the next gas station. *Then* kill him.
• It was a reasonable chat, I let him have it alone
• Xanax was, indeed, fun.
• That time I was almost killed by scary cult children
• Stand back from the doors or they might kill you
• When I was little my mother told me not to sit close to the T.V., so when I was six I did.
• In the end it did not matter. The ocean was still there.
• I did not get the news
• He never killed a man that did not need killing.
• that pain was something I needed, and probably did to myself
• It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets
• Get your filthy hands off my desert
• Rape committed by women
• When I was a kid, I wanted to get tuberculosis
• The sound was starting to get stuck in my head like "It's a Small World"
• Never argue with an idiot. They bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
• They say the prettiest girls get to be angels
• They try to be quiet but you know they are there with their weird coppery breath.
• They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
• I will make your oppressors eat their own flesh and they shall be drunk with their own blood like wine
• If men define situations as real, they are real in their consequences.
• Never meddle in the affairs of wizards, especially before they have their coffee
• If my roommate doesn't keep his hands off my shit, I'm gonna fuck him up
• In the dream he laughs and says, You thought they were graceful on the ground
• The Man Felt an Iron Hand Grasp Him by the Hair, at the Nape. Not One Hand, a Hundred Hands Seized Him, Each by the Hair, and Tore Him Head to Foot, the Way You Tear Up a Sheet of Paper, Into Hundreds of Little Pieces
• The one thing I wanted more than anything was for someone, just once, to tell me they don't know what they'd do without me
• thoughts and ideas ought to be convoluted, because the things and people that they represent are equally so
• Things I Thought I Would Never Hear Myself Say
• Once when I got like this I thought I was building a boat
• If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him
• She thought about giving him her heart
• It was the tree that gave him away.
• Do you not see that if we kill him with the pill from the till by making with it the drug in the jug, you need not light the candle with the handle on the gateau from the chateau!
• Know your pets
• Seriously, though, who the hell did I think I was going to become?
• I saw him lying there leaving me, and I did not know
• How did I get here, Sarah?
• Was that real, or did I dream it?
• The boys did not know it. They were just being beautiful, and I got to watch.
• Everything Hitler did was legal
• On the horizon, the lions circle their kill while the sun waits to set
• Everything Stalin did was legal
• This is the story of how I was killed in Peru
• I would have killed for a sexual thought
• Why girlfriends get annoyed when they remember things you don't
• Running a BBS
• He was the kind of man who shacked up for shelter
• This is what happens, son, when you let your wife's green lung get out of hand
• It's not enough they take your life away with a gun; they have to take it away with their pens, too
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• The hostages wrote thank you cards to their captors when they got home.
• What would aliens think of us if Everything was all they had?
• In the end it was always a stranger's hand
• They took my job. They took my hands.
• Hearts and thoughts they fade; fade away
• Fast-talking career gal who thought she was one of the boys
• A tight circle of like-minded people, each with hands on the genitals of their neighbor
• Top hat
• What if Everything You Thought You Knew About AIDS Was Wrong?
• She probably thought your first language was English; your real first language was Joyce
• I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes
• The first time I saw him was I emit tsal ehT
• I was Chris to him
• What did people use as incidental music before Moby was invented?
• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• All you ever did was let it happen
• the signal was killed
• The feeling you get when you hold someone's hand
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• They Spent Their Wild Youthful Days in the Glittering World of the Salons
• the flags are all dead at the tops of their poles
• They Shall Beat Their Plowshares Into Swords
• They don't get it. Let them suffer.
• When I woke up this morning, I thought I was a parallelogram. I still have a sneaking suspicion.
• I Thought My Father Was God
• We'd kill him, but it probably wouldn't solve anything
• And we killed him and he's dead.
• Of course, first you have to kill him
• We're gonna find the bastard and "reward" him.
• Video didn't kill the radio star, I did
• I did not tell him, instead I kept it private like a secret hug
• I did not need it. I was strong. I was steady. I knew what I was doing.

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