Lately I have been getting strange urges to disappear. To run away and never be found again. I sometimes catch myself contemplating the most graceful, most interesting ways to become nonexistent, not in the sense of death, but more in the sense of not being there. Here is a list of some that have wandered through my head.

Evaporation. Floating slowly into the air in wisps while no one is the wiser.

Alien abduction (loss of time being optional, of course).

Being sideswiped by a truck and flying through many city blocks while people gasp and point. I don't know where this one comes from. I'm quite sure it would not be fun. But every time I cross the street I think of it.

Into the mouth of a whale.

Stargazing (disappearing in the sense of being infinitely small).

Being poked ever so gently on the shoulder by a friend until I am nothing but a mass of dislodged molecules on my kitchen floor.

Implosion.

Being the permanent centre of a group hug. Never seen, only felt.

Losing track of time one day and never finding it again.

Joining the tiny people that live in my sand castles.

Covering myself in warm laundry and never leaving.

Frozen in a jello salad (like those little chunks of fruit that scare everyone at parties).

Following the socks that disappear.

Wearing big hats. All the time.

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