An essay written by Howard Stern associate producer KC (Kyle Casey) Armstrong in first grade. As a result of this schizoid essay, he was sent to the school psychologist. Many on the show now believe that KC has some deep mental issues.

"A Tall Tale You Won't Believe"

Once upon a time, there were three people: Kyle, Casey, and Armstrong. And all of a sudden a guy I saw was eating a mouse. I went to Armstrong. He was fishing in his pool. He was drunk.

"Hi," he said.

"Yeah, hi."

So I got my fishing pole and put a monkey with mustard on, and dropped it in the water. Oh, I got a nibble! Oh no, I pulled too hard! All I got was bones! The skin and meat came off.

So next I caught a stingray. But it turned into an Indian. So I got out my knife. Cut, cut, cut into little pieces. Cut, cut, cut. But soon he came after me. So I said, "Wait till you..." Then I got my vacuum cleaner and I got all the pieces of the Indian I cut up.

Then I went to Kyle's house and he had 5000000 cigarettes in his mouth. And when he saw me he tried to spit at me. But I bludgeoned him. Kill, kill, kill.

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