written by Howard Stern
associate producer KC (Kyle Casey) Armstrong
in first grade
. As a result of this schizoid
essay, he was sent to the school psychologist
. Many on the show now believe that KC has some deep mental
"A Tall Tale You Won't Believe"
Once upon a time, there were three people: Kyle, Casey, and Armstrong. And all of a sudden a guy I saw was eating a mouse. I went to Armstrong. He was fishing in his pool. He was drunk.
"Hi," he said.
So I got my fishing pole and put a monkey with mustard on, and dropped it in the water. Oh, I got a nibble! Oh no, I pulled too hard! All I got was bones! The skin and meat came off.
So next I caught a stingray. But it turned into an Indian. So I got out my knife. Cut, cut, cut into little pieces. Cut, cut, cut. But soon he came after me. So I said, "Wait till you..." Then I got my vacuum cleaner and I got all the pieces of the Indian I cut up.
Then I went to Kyle's house and he had 5000000 cigarettes in his mouth. And when he saw me he tried to spit at me. But I bludgeoned him. Kill, kill, kill.