New today! Or, someday that I wrote this, anyway...

It might have even been the day before I wrote this, but don't tell anyone.

The #catbox now features two way communications! You have to register your E2 name and password with the ChatterBot. Don't worry, it's not logged. Basically, it does what your web browser does; it transmits your password, and stores the cookie that E2 returns. When you log out of E2, the cookie is deleted.

For usage information, log into slashnet and send a message starting with "help" to the ChatterBot. It will fill you in on the latest commands.

Thank you, for wasting your time on slashnet...

The Campbells condense soup version

#catbox is back up and running. All hail to dwyn for creating a new bot to undertake the task of bringing the cheddarbox to the irc masses. /msg catboxer help for instructions. Source code can be sought at and for gods sake will someone make a copy of it this time round before we piss him off too (only j/k mr. Dwyn! ;)!

Serious tips and advice

usernames: If your username has spaces you can login using double quotes: /msg catboxer login "<username with spaces>" <password>

message inbox: If like me you have a lot of private messages you can now turn them off using the following combination (this assumes you have prepended /msg catboxer to each command or have a private message window to catboxer:

  1. list all (to read all messages vital so that timestamps will be set against them to know what is a new and old message)
  2. private off (to turn off displaying private messages when you sign in)
  3. save (to save your preferences)
  4. logout
Then log back in and everything should be gravy!

emote: Incase you were wondering how to emote simply use: /msg catboxer say /me <emote>

Anymore tips /msg me :) and I'll add them!

Now on with our story...

The story so far

<CowbotNeal> aighearach was last seen on #everything 7 days, 7 hours, 45 minutes and 6 seconds ago, saying: I am leaving this place, you people just sit around while your "friends" are mean to others. [Sun May 20 21:35:09 2001]

After a much heated argument between Aigherach and some #everything chanops we lost both himself and the bot. It has been said that any references to the project on his website were subsequently wiped out. In short the sherrif up'd and left our little town.

Was this the end of #catbox? Would the beautiful integration of #everything and cheddarbox be lost forever?

It was all starting to look pretty bad here in chatsville, until he came rolling in like a tumbleweed from hell, Dwyn. Dwyn picked us up from the floor and dusted us off. He wiped the tears from our eyes and reassured us he would bring order back to this town. He would rebuild us, a new and improved us, but only because he had the technology. And with that he entered the blacksmith's shoppe and begun his task.

After what seemed an eternity he returned blackened and bruised by the hard graft. In his arms he had small shiny creature who seemed to resemble a cat with a pair of boxing gloves. The response from the town was muted to say the least. There were a few "isn't that nice" and "that's very original"s, but to be honest the townsfolk were disappointed.

Dwyn sensing the unease in the community realised it was time to show what this little bot could do. With a deft flick of a switch the bot's azure eyes lit up and he rose to face the townfolk. After assessing us he barked1, "Please, put down your weapon. You have twenty seconds to comply."2 "Hi, my name is catboxer! Can I be your friend?"

Now to say the townsfolks were a little perturbed would be like saying the American civil war was a bit of a slapping and pulling hair match. The smell of tar and the sound of shrieking chickens could be heard throughtout the town. And as the talk of tar and feathering, lynching, spam and even downvoting started to circulate, then it happened...

Like a cat with boxing gloves possessed by a chatline, catboxer began to spout copious amounts of conversation...

<catboxer> d2s: furrytoes: that furry decoder makes my IE-browser to crash down... =)
<catboxer> funnytoes: SVG looks like a cool idea. "Hey, draw me an oval here." We've been doing it on micros for twenty years...
<catboxer> d2s: IE sucks..

Better still he even did the voices! The townsfolk cheered and Dwyn was pronounced hero of the day. So after much celebrating the time had come for Dwyn to leave, his work was done here. Before leaving he gave us some simple instructions:

<The actual document Dwyn gave us>

Available commands:
HELP                     This help message
LOGIN <user> <password>  Log in to E2
LOGOUT                   Log out from E2
WHO                      Show a list of logged-in users
SAY <text>               Chat in the chatterbox
MSG <user> <message>     Send a private message
LIST [ALL|NEW]           List my private messages (default: NEW)
PRIVATE [ON|OFF]         Automatically fetch new private messages
DELETE <msgid>           Delete a private message
SAVE                     Save preferences
Aliases (for backwards compatibility):
SAY /MSG <user> <message> (or CHATTER /MSG) also works as expected.
Private messages are no longer automatically fetched from E2 to avoid
database strain.  Type "HELP PRIVATE" for details.
End of help.

Before riding off into the sunset he gave us two more pieces of advice: "Never drop water on catboxer" and "Never ever ever ever feed him after midnight!"

1 I guessed mewd in an angry manner would be more apt if you think about it.
2 Sorry got a little radio interference, last time I a metal plate inserted in my head at a market stall.
Document history:
29/MAY/2001 2048: Updated the tips for logging in if your username has spaces.
27/MAY/2001 2319: Updated help page. Provided use tips.

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