weasello's New Writeups

Jersey Girl (thing)

2004-03-26T03:16:44Z

Jersey Girl (2004) - Weasello Rating: {>>>>} (Suprisingly Good)

Please note that this review is laden with spoilers.

Body count: 1 (pretty high for a movie dubbed as a Romantic Comedy)

One-sentence plot summary: A borderline romantic comedy taking you on an emotional roller-coaster as the bachelor dad and his daughter try to figure out their futures.

Plot Outline: This movie is not to be confused with the movie of the same name, released in 1992. This would be the 2004 release directed by Kevin Smith.

Ollie and Gertrude (Bennifer, respectively) are a somewhat powerful couple living the high life in New York City, and we are treated to a few opening scenes of their lovey-dovey life in the Big Apple. When Gertrude gets pregnant, the movie really begins.

Sadly, Gertrude dies while giving birth to the their later-named-daughter "Gertie," and after an emotional (and disgusting, at…

Fosters: A Heavily Formatted E2 Gathering (Men at Work) (idea)

2004-02-12T10:33:37Z

FOSTERS: A HEAVILY FORMATTED E2 GATHERING (MEN AT WORK)

Oh yeah, in Vancouver, BC.

Preamble: I've never done this before, and I'm hosting a noderthing in a city I've never been in... much. Seriously folks, help me out here.

WE CURRENTLY HAVE
11
PEOPLE PLANNING TO ATTEND.
THIS NUMBER IS SO LARGE YOU NOW WISH TO GO TOO.

Who: Well, after the big E2 Outage the Vancouver noders aren't as strong as they once were. Here is a list of people I've spoken to, since announcing this thing to everyone on the E2 list of people living in BC:

Weasello who is painfully trying to organize this whole thing
Blakjak who is the guest of honor
Melodrame is confirm-ED
Pseudo_Intellectual will be there!

…

salesperson (person)

2003-12-31T20:30:08Z

History: The term "salesman" came about quite early in time, and was a role most frequently filled by the male half of our species. Of course, things started to change in the late 1800s and we got into the full swing of being politically correct in the late 1900s.

Salesmen and saleswomen started becoming "salesperson," which is an uncomfortable word to pronounce, so other words were created in its place... "Sales clerk," "sales attendant," "sales associate," and a myriad of other sales-beginning things. Even the word "clerk" has started gaining in popularity recently, reflecting English's tendancy to use shorter words when available.

So what is it? What does being a salesperson entail? At the most basic level, a salesperson is responsible for the sales of a particular product or service. Any further observations beyond that are usually unfounded - such as saying "all salespeople are nitwits" (Dekaritae).

Some salespeople do nothing to actually…

Scared Stiff (thing)

2003-11-05T09:00:22Z

~~Bored~~ Scared Stiff (1986) - Weasello Rating: {----} (Don't even waste your time reading this)

As this movie is incredibly incredibly horrible and isn't even really that entertaining, I decided to do an all-out plot description. Therefore, spoilers are contained in the "plot" section; if you don't wish to see them thar spoilers, just skip it!

Warning: Plethora of ~~bad~~ strikethrough jokes used in this writeup to help ease the pain.

Body Count: 3 or 4 on-screen deaths (one of which is questionable), all of which are ultimately questionable. Plus two already dead people.

Porn Count: You've probably already guessed that this movie is pretty bad, and if you have, you are correct. You would also venture to assume, that since this movie is of such suckage, it would include a big pile of boobs or maybe some man-ass to make up for the suck-tastic-ness. Unfortunately, you'd be wrong in that…

Psycho (thing)

2003-11-03T12:05:53Z

Psycho (1960) - Weasello Rating: {****} (Hot Damn!) {{ Sequel }}

Spoilers contained in the "plot" section; if you don't wish to see them thar spoilers, just skip it!

Body Count: Two on-screen deaths and a third previously-killed dead person.

Porn Cont: Being made in 1960, porn in movies was barely heard of. This is, however, the first movie to ever show a woman wearing nothing on top but a bra! That's right, bra action in this film! As well, this movie may have the first ever on-screen flushing toilet!!!

One sentence plot summary: A woman comes into conflict with her own morals when she suddenly disappears at a motel - and a chilling tale of mystery and murder ensues!

The Plot: Marion Crane works in a real estate office in the city of Phoenix. A high-roller suave Texan is buying, from her boss, a rather large property costing $40,000...…

Chillers (thing)

2003-11-01T21:59:50Z

Chillers (1987) - Weasello Rating: {----} (I wish *I* died during the movie!)

Spoilers abound. This movie is so horrible that I figure it's more entertaining to read the plot from my words alone, so I wrote just about every little plot point down in the "plot" section. If you don't want any spoilers, or if you don't enjoy reading about movies for whatever reason, just skip down to the next section.

Body Count: One, just one. Oh wait, maybe three or four; but none are really confirmed and they're all dream-like deaths, and didn't actually happen in real life.

Porn Cont: Though a horror movie, we are only allowed to see one (1) man-ass, and one (only one) nipple... and that nipple is shrouded by a swimsuit.

One sentence plot summary: Five people stuck overnight in a bus depot share with each other their nightmares from the day before.

The Plot: This movie is, essentially, an incredibly…