scraimer's New Writeups

Dream Log: April 14, 2007 (log)

2007-04-14T22:59:55Z

Not a dream. A day-dream.

Why not, eh?

Recently went through a breakup, so I can't be surprised about this.

Without thinking about who I am and what I can be, I realize I'm standing on the dividing line of a highway, in the dark. As I look around, I see the blue sky overhead, but no sun. The road is not quite black, and the dividing line is white. Apart from the sky, there's no true color in the dream. Perhaps I added in the blue, in my recollection? But I'm certain that I'm not in black-and-white.

Turning around, I realize I cannot leave the dividing line. I can walk along it, but cannot leave it. This is the point I realize I was in a dream. To play with it, I try testing the limits of that: Leaning as far as I can; jumping; (so that neither of my feet touch the line) etc.

It's a special kind of claustrophobia, knowing you cannot go in one direction, but having no limit on the other.

Hmm... Now that I put it that way, I guess it means that I feel I'm in some kind of rut. Not being able to go my own way. Cool!

Dream Log: April 29, 2006 (idea)

2006-04-29T22:34:56Z

I keep having this nightmares where I'm under some kind of threat, and they boil down to me having to save myself - but I keep coming up short.

It's either my legs are too weak, or I'm too afraid... I don't think I've ever experienced these feeling in real life - even under fire, or when I was forced to do something I didn't want...

Maybe it's all just from stress...

April 29, 2006 (person)

2006-04-29T22:31:31Z

"Try, Try, again..."

"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."

I wish I told my friend this more often. Maybe he wouldn't have jumped off the cliff. Did he really think he'd survive a 100 foot drop? Idiot. And now his family is left to grieve.

I'll miss him.

Dream Log: June 15, 2005 (idea)

2005-06-15T08:50:44Z

Too weird - getting around, and everone I see turns away for a moment and then turns back as some stereotype of a cloned bad guy: Agent Smith, cloned Empire soldiers from the Roger Zelany books, etc.

And to top it off, I get to see on the hills/cliffs around me miniature versions of my last-week's dreams... maybe they weren't so small, maybe it was just distance.

Anyway, I knew I was dreaming, so I got kinda bored with this silliness, and changed a channel.

Which was a mistake, because I woke up to discover I'm sick again...

September 19, 2004 (idea)

2004-09-19T20:28:07Z

I know I'm religious, but sometimes my resolve weakens. Most of these times are around fast-days.

No, not fast days, rather days of fasting. No food, no water, no shower, no music. And as with all things where you aren't allowed to do something - it feels all the more attractive to do them! No matter how little I need to eat daily, I still feel famished if I'm not allowed to eat. Even if I've just eaten!

I guess that's all part of the negative-psycology, or maybe just the weird of the human condition. It would take a wiser man than me to figure that one out.

Well, since this is a day log, I really ought to mention something about the day, right?
The reason I brought up the fast-thingy was that today was a fast day. A pretty easy one, too. Starting from 05:30 in the morning, to 19:02 at night. It's basically the easiest of all the Jewish fasts. Called Tzom Gedalya, and created after the murder of the Jewish laison to the conqueres - which plunged the…

August 5, 2004 (thing)

2004-08-05T18:30:40Z

I've forgotten how painful a migraine was since I've managed to avoid them in the past few months by not working all too hard. Never had a migraine? Let me give you an idea of how it feels.

Urg. Ever have a headache in your left eye? How about feeling your nerves shut down slowly in your entire right arm, so you can still move your hand, but it no longer feels like your own? How about the wonderful sensations of phantom nausea, aural preceptions being distorted, and all the wonderful LSD-like effects: snow (like in a TV screen) in your vision, tunnel vision, random halos appear, and the odd hallucination...

Ah, if only the pills still worked ...