android's New Writeups

Adventures in Having a Boy/Girl Name (idea)

2000-07-01T00:15:04Z

My name is Kristopher, but only my mother, my girlfriend, and a select few female friends are allowed to call me by my full name; to everyone else, I am Kris. For some reason, people equate the KRIS spelling with females, and the CHRIS spelling with males. Go figure.

Like Eraser_, teachers and other authority figures got really confused when they saw my shortened name on a roster for, say, an athletic team, or other segregated activities. I sure as hell didn't look like a girl, but some adults insisted on questioning my gender. I didn't like that very much.

Upon hitting puberty, I began to receive all sorts of stuff in the mail. Magazines aimed at girls, maxipads, tampons, other feminine products. I even got an invitation for a beauty pageant once. This sort of thing really pissed me off until I began to see the humor in it. The only thing that I didn't get was, why do teenage girls get all the free shit, and the boys…

Poker (thing)

2000-06-16T19:10:18Z

Poker is an extremely complex card game with many, many variations. I will explain the basic rules of the game here and spell out the different variations that I am familiar with in separate writeups.

Poker is a betting game. Players need to wager something on each hand (whether it be real money, pennies, poker chips or pretzels) or the game gets boring rather quickly. Betting plays a huge role in the strategy of the game; even if you are down on your luck you can still win by betting correctly, reading other player's bets correctly, and looking at other player's reactions (reading their 'poker faces').

The object of most variations of poker is to construct the best possible hand for yourself. Hands are almost always made up of 5 cards, although a player may have more than 5 cards available to him or her. Both rank and suit can be significant to a hand. The best hand is the straight flush; the worst hand is a hand where no other…

SoBe (thing)

2000-06-07T22:27:36Z

Varieties of SoBe drinks:

Teas

Black Tea: contains 150 mg ginseng, 50 mg ginkgo biloba, and 50 mg guarana.
Green Tea: contains 150 mg ginseng, 125 mg echinacea, 50 mg ginkgo biloba, and 50 mg guarana.
Oolong Tea: contains 150 mg ginseng, 50 mg ginkgo biloba, 50 mg guarana, and 50 mg bee pollen.
Lemon Tea: contains 100 mg lemongrass.

Elixirs

Power Line

Drive
Edge
Energy: contains 50 mg guarana, 30 mg yohimbe, and 25 mg arginine. Has a pleasant orange/lemon flavor.
Power
Wisdom

Enlightenment

Lizard Line

Lizard Blizzard

…

Presidents & Assholes (thing)

2000-05-08T21:44:21Z

Presidents & Assholes

A drinking card game for 4 or more players

Required Equipment: One standard deck of cards for every four players or so, alcoholic beverages

Objects of the Game:

To play all of one's cards as fast as possible in each round;
To attain and keep the rank of President for as long as possible;
To avoid being the Asshole, unless you like that sort of thing;
To drink large quantities of alcohol.

Presidents & Assholes is best played with a large group of people. Aces are high; Deuces are special "clear" cards.

Game Play (Initial Round): All cards from the deck(s) are dealt out as evenly as possible to each player. An extra card for some players is no big deal. Someone should be designated to clear the board when necessary. Whoever is dealt the Three of Clubs plays it first, and play continues from his or her left. (In…

Radiohead (person)

2000-05-05T00:52:28Z

Radiohead, alternative rock quintet from Oxford, England, 1988 - Present.

Thom Yorke: vocals, guitar
Ed O'Brien: guitar, vocals
Jonny Greenwood: guitar, various other instruments
Colin Greenwood: bass guitar
Phil Selway: percussion

Partial Discography:

The release of Radiohead's first major-label album, Pablo Honey, brought lackluster reviews and sales in their native Britain until "Creep" began to receive major airplay on the radio and MTV in the USA. On the back of the single's success, Radiohead toured the USA extensively. Pablo Honey went gold, and "Creep" was re-released in the UK at the end of 1993. This time around, the single was a hit, and the band went on…

The Tempest: Epilogue (thing)

2000-04-21T23:05:21Z

Epilogue, spoken by Prospero
Now my charms are all o'erthrown,
And what strength I have's mine own,
Which is most faint: now, 'tis true,
I must be here confined by you,
Or sent to Naples. Let me not,
Since I have my dukedom got
And pardon'd the deceiver, dwell
In this bare island by your spell;
But release me from my bands
With the help of your good hands:
Gentle breath of yours my sails
Must fill, or else my project fails,
Which was to please. Now I want
Spirits to enforce, art to enchant,
And my ending is despair,
Unless I be relieved by prayer,
Which pierces so that it assaults
Mercy itself and frees all faults.
As you from crimes would pardon'd be,
Let your indulgence set me free.

Back to Act 5, Scene 1
The Tempest