Tehan's New Writeups

It's turtles all the way down (idea)

2006-03-31T19:22:21Z

Naturally, Terry Pratchett's Discworld universe has made use of this saying. Great A'tuin, of course, doesn't need to stand on anything, seeing as he (or possibly she) is swimming through space, and not standing on anything at all.

In The Science of Discworld the co-authors (Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen, doncha know - terrific scientific writers) are discussing the origin-of-time dismissal answer of saying, "it's always been there, it doesn't need explaining!" Here's how the refutation works:

Take the phrase, "It's turtles all the way down." Sounds silly, doesn't it? Not something a right-minded person like you would think, oh argument dismisser.

Now, if you don't mind, please be so good as to replace the word 'turtles' with 'time', and 'down' with 'back'.

It's time all the way back, hmm? Did you not just express the opinion that such sentiments were silly? Well, I did, but you weren't in any real hurry to disagree, were you?

That's what…

dickhead (thing)

2006-03-31T15:55:40Z

Dickheads are a brand of matches launched by the legendary Australian company Dick Smith Foods in 1999, obviously as a competitor to Redheads Matches, who belong to the Swiss now. He somehow managed to do this without a murmur of protest, where normally you would expect to see self-righteous protest groups arguing that there are more than enough dickheads in supermarkets as it is, thank you very much.

While at first they seemed to be completely silent about the name - sort of a "why, we didn't even NOTICE that, what a sick, dirty little mind you must have to spot that" challenge - they have embraced their monopoly on the right to publically call people dickheads without any protests. Hence, there is now a whole range of shirts, aprons, stubby holders and more articles with "DICKHEAD" written on them in large, bold letters. These usually have the happy subtitle:

"We love our dickheads but youâd have to be a real dickhead…

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (idea)

2005-08-31T00:14:42Z

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas has now been pretty much banned in Australia - the Australian Office Of Film and Literature Classification people have revoked their classification for the game, making it illegal for games retailers to sell it. It seems the HotCoffee thing (a mod that has cartoon sex in it) was the last straw. They did this instead of giving it an R (AO for you Americans) because they don't have a rating worse than MA15+ for video games. Copies on the Aussie Ebay are going for around half again the retail price, but I'm not all that sure whether that's legal or not - because if it isn't, you can bet your bottom dollar Ebay will pull the auctions.

Although they may have a good reason for it. With this game, you can use the internet to access porn! It's not like you could do that before at all.

Ye gods, we Aussies can be a bunch of prudes at times...

Major Update!

It appears that there is a new version of GTA:SA on the streets.…

Temple ov thee Lemur (place)

2005-08-01T05:56:03Z

Ever wondered how Mars Bars change as they cross the Atlantic? Ever wondered exactly how EXTREMEly you can overclock a 486? Ever sat down and pondered what happens if you CROSS THE MEMES?

Well, probably not. But this group (well, more of a cabal) of British nerds has. Although they stopped updating several years ago, it is still there. The final bastion of Ultima 7 Jackass, the only group to fool BBC, USA Today AND get Slashdotted twice with a potato-powered webserver (fake). They have a Cult Ov Thee Week. Cults are fun! They even have a disbanded Discordian cabal floating around somewhere! They have a campaign to protect Womp Rats, they have the inner-city equivelants of Badger Baiting and Cow Tipping, they even have special christmas cards AND phone cards. You can absolve yourselves of programming sins online. Where else can you play Gothic Guess Who? There is no way you can not check these people out.

http://totl.net

Mandatory…

The Characters and Personalities of Fallout (idea)

2005-07-25T23:27:27Z

BIG CHUNKY SPOILERS AHEAD! IF YOU READ THIS BEFORE FINISHING FALLOUT, IT WILL BE RUINED FOREVER!

Fallout was a masterpiece. It was a near-perfect blend of RPG and turn-based combat. You could take it apart until you've got each of the separate components - a turn-based shooter, an RPG and a humourous game - and none of them would rate above around so-so. But together the blend is something greater than the whole. Maybe it was the appeal of using bottlecaps as currency or the mix of 1950's culture with futuristic gatling lasers and force fields. But perhaps the main reason was the way it sucked you into the wasteland that was once California.

The difference between a boring wasteland that is there because the programmers couldn't think of anything to put there and an interesting wasteland that adds to and enhances the plot is the people. Without the people, you've got a Diablo 2 clone. But instead, you've got a portion of…

Parallels between WHFB and WH 40k (idea)

2005-07-24T11:26:59Z

The purpose of this node is to point on the similarities between Warhammer Fantasy Battle and Warhammer 40K, both of which are the cash cows of Games Workshop. Naturally, this has been touched on in other nodes - WHFB is to WH40k as a peach is to a nectarine, and vice versa. But never before has it been the subject of careful enquiry, as they are about to be.

Humans

Naturally, these prolific creatures are native to both worlds. In WHFB, they are playable as Brettonian and The Empire, with spin-offs including the followers of Ulric and other miniature city-states, and appear in supporting roles everywhere else (except, arguably, Naggaroth and Ulthuan, except as slaves), including the jungles of Lustria, if only temporarily. There are also human tribes in the Chaos wastes, but these really fall under Chaos. In WH40k, they are also prolific and appear playable as the Imperial Guard and Space Marines - although whether they are technically still 'human'…