Old Southern Slang (idea)

(see all of Old Southern Slang, there are 5 more in this node)

A boar is a male pig, especially a wild male pig. Therefore, "useless as tits on a boar" (in Virginia, I'd always heard it as "worthless as tits on a boar hog", but close enough) refers to someone or something being totally useless, like breasts on the male of most species.