Joke has its own WU
Let's start with
:A noder's life:
Acrophobia
Soar winner
March 17, 2005
Imaginary telnet
Bugs go to JayBonci
There was once a Man
Watt's the unit of power
The War for Canadian Independence
ApoxyButt's Guide to Successful Boating
Using a laptop computer as birth control
Potatoes saved my life they can save yours too
That which doesn't kill me makes me breakfast
How the Petting Zoo eventually destroyed us all
The Trials and Tribulations of Having Your Own Secret Hideout
Before we dump the bodies, you guys wanna go to Hooters?
The young poet, facing a deadline, scans pages 450-467 of the OED
Until today, it really pissed me off that I'd become this totally centered Zen Master and nobody had noticed
My Angst Ate my Suffering in a Void of Meaningless Existential Nihilistic Self-Oppression: An Poem
The Unbearable Anguish of My Awful Existence, an Un-Sestina in Vague Villanelle Form
Don't ever empty half a bottle of washing up liquid into the cistern of a toilet
Floating around in a sea of milk clinging desperately to a cheerio
8 simple rules for dating my octogenarian grandfather
Hey! What's that worm hole doing in my back yard??
I don't think you could do this with a modern SUV
Military economics: an equivocal song
You have no socially redeeming value
The deep end? what's that?
I hate this god damn robot
Psychic Dinner Ordering
Customers don't trust me
The Squirrel Diaries
365 reasons to party
I Hate Trick or Treat
AOL is broken
Gauntlet
Which leads us into
:Humor by writing sentimentally about silly things:
Sultry dental hygienist
She said, while hugging a bowl of turnips close to her bosom
You are as dazzling as a pregnant cow attired in electrical sockets
When that cow would walk it was like she was dancing
Chunky peanut butter
What? You're done with that already?! Um... Hold on just a moment...
I'm running at bit behind, so I think we'd better take a...
:Commercial Break:
algebrix
TANSTAAFL: Air Doesn't Grow On Trees
The Budweiser commercial they refuse to air
John Lennon and Paul McCartney's TV commercial for Pong
Stupacil
We're back! That wasn't so bad, was it?
But there's better stuff out there. Try, for example,
:Social Problems:
Poor John
On War Terror
Smarter than a brick?
Ban Time Travel Now!
Google: Judgment Day
House passes anti-adult bill
The year 292277026596 problem
Where do disappearing socks go?
Nintendo encourages binge eating
Just before you make that next move...
Protecting your home from the Germans
Your success in life has been predetermined from birth
Please make your genitalia inspired abuse more interesting and constructive
Creating a password to convince yourself you have traveled back in time
Sorry for the inconvenience, but the beta has come to an end.
The United States should go to war with everyone
Guns don't kill people. Ninjas kill people.
When did you choose to be left-handed?
Isms And Phobias In "The Lion King"
Bovine Selective Visual Impairment
The Vending Machine Murders
Male/Female confessions
The Dudley Conspiracy
Subspace spam
Elvis reference
But that's not all! Have you been reading the news lately?
:Extra! Extra! Read all about it!:
Bush sells USA
Sheep with shotguns!
Dead Men Don't Need Coffee Breaks
Zombie Insourcing Offers Life After Death
George Clooney grows goatee: world grinds to halt
Now that there is no hell, evil folks like you just get reincarnated as McDonald's register jockeys
An important letter to all Citizens of the Galactic Empire from Grand Emperor Zadnariak
Pokeconomy Fears Collapse as New Legislation Bans Sport-Fighting
Authorities Concerned Over Rise of Teen Linux Gangs
MCI WorldCom Buys Dem Bones for More Than $100B
Perfect Game of Robotron Achieved by God
So they caught George W. Bush
Tolkien Spinning in His Grave
House Passes Anti-Adult Bill
Death toll likely to rise
Letter to the editor
Satan at the Bat
Scary stuff, huh? But if you think things are bad out there, take a look around, and remember,
:You can never trust a noder:
Everything Rumors
Nathan, This Is Unacceptable
The story of hemos, nate and a housefire
I'm glad the evil overlord was on my team
How to Screw With People's Heads At The Mall
Out of Order signs for personal gain and amusement
Getting a free soft drink anywhere in North America
Daily Evil - Monday, October 23rd
to: jessicapierce re: Daily Evil
Cut and paste writeups will die
Alternate Emergency Procedures
How I plan to use Spain
Everything cheat codes
What Would Cthulhu Do?
I am a verbal guerilla
Totally disconnected
Magic mushrooms
ILOVEYOU
Not scary enough yet? Well, you can always
:Slide on over to the dark side:
So you want to be evil
Evil Etiquette - "Q&A"
It's not my fault that I'm so evil
No, this is not an evil scheme
Daily Evil - Friday, October 13th
Summoning the Devil
Satan at the Bat
Am I The Antichrist?
The trouble with Satan's son
The Big Boffo Book of Daemons
How to win back your soul in hell
Sex with Darth Vader while thinking of the Pope
What to do if the Grim Reaper shows up at your door
If Satan is the prince of darkness, then who is the king?
The education of little overlords
If I were to take over the world with kick-ass robots
I'm glad the evil overlord was on my team
SPECWEAPS
Lunch break
Whole roast human (Long pig)
Human, the other white meat
Vegetarians taste better
If people weren't meant to be eaten, they wouldn't be made of meat!
Zombie break
Zombie hunting
The Zombie Survival Guide
How to Fight a Zombie Uprising
Wal-Mart as an Anti-Zombie Fortress
How to survive against zombies
How to survive against humans
Zombie care and maintenance
A Zombie Story (in three parts)
Tell me a story about brains
Zombie baby jokes
And even worse...
The unexamined genius of schoolyard mimes
A mime is a terrible thing to waste
You can learn a lot from these nodes. No, strike that. You can learn Everything from these nodes.
:How To Do It All:
Source Code to Life
How to Write Bad Poetry
How to fake your own death
How to fake your own ideath
B.S. your way through Spanish
How To Become a Mighty Pirate
How to survive a helicopter mishap
How to get dressed if you are a man
How to install Linux on a dead badger
How to scream when no one is looking
How to entertain unwashed masses on little or no money
How to avoid people whom you don't like talking to
How to be a convincing teenage girl on IRC
How to smuggle a snake onto an airplane
How to reduce the number of smokers
How to pick up a dime with a forklift
How to eat a banana like a chimp
How to form a nu-metal band
How to meet the most girls
How to type with your nose
How to be an asshole
Black belt
When the World Ends
To Kill Yourself with a Cannonball
Incomplete two-word sentences with which to end your life
Whew! Time for some lighter reading.
:Ridiculous babblings:
Airline Hero
Chuck Norris
The Bear FAQ
Geezer nostalgia
Wanna buy a duck?
Giant Robot Primer
Geezer creation myth
Of course we had it tough
A Brief History of Bottoms
Messiah Complex Self-Test
Parable of the Next Generation
Acme Springloaded Batwing Cape
Where people go when people die
Celtic culture is based on bar bets
The pussification of the American cat
Edmund Burke takes a Technology Class
The unaired Frasier masturbation episode
So this one time, God walked into an inn...
The Lord of the Rings IV: Stop or my Gollum will Shoot!
Why strapping buttered toast to a cat's back will not produce infinite power
I signed up for the carpool for all the wrong reasons and now I'm bitter as Hell
Monkey tentacle pr0n death-frenzy with gerbils and a ball-shaving lesbian triplet carnival
The Lovecraftian compulsion to keep writing even as one is being devoured
Your hands do the work of 10,000 highly trained lesbian jumping beans
Dogs are for wimps who don't have the guts to bite people themselves
Can someone send me a photo of the server my nodes are on, please?
Alexander the Great and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good Very Bad Day
Gone in Sixty Seconds 2006 - Theatre Quest Entries
Gone in Sixty Seconds 2005 - Theatre Quest Entries
Gone in Sixty Seconds - Theatre Quest Entries(2004)
The Seven Habits of Highly Affective People
A Gentleman's Primer to Freestyle Rap
God comments his code, you should too
Webster and the case of the Zookeeper
Webster and the case of the Missing Walrus
There Are Many People Living Inside of Me
If George Bush played Civilization III
John Thomas Cholmondeley-Minge
I am no longer an EDB refugee
Everything: In the Beginning
What do theorems look like?
The Convenience Store FAQ
The Joy Luck Fight Club
Science fiction clichés
The Russian Free State
October 23, 4004 BC
No cow is innocent
Star Trek Mishaps
Josiah Q. Primp
Explorer
Honey
I love this stuff...
But you don't have to stop there. We also have:
:Really, Really, Ridiculous Babblings:
Favorite Everything quotes
Out Of Cheese Error
Theories of Minnesota
Behold The Wonders Of Japan
This node does not make sense
Holy shit, you mean I'm not invisible?
The Leviathan Penile Counting Machine
"Oh, bother," said the Borg. "We've assimilated Pooh."
You can't dominate the world on $10 a day (or can you?)
I paved paradise, and put up this, like, bigass parking lot
YOU CAN'T FIGHT EVIL WITH A MACARONI DUCK!
The piglets are coming! The piglets are coming!
How Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man have sex
I knew I couldn't build a cat
The tale of the monkey's soy
Proof of Sheep Intelligence
Cheese Log: September 20, 2000
Fish Log: October 13, 2000
I wield a SPORK!
THE LOUD NODE
So maybe that's not your thing. How about...
: All Too Logical Babblings:
EAT AND LIVE!
Halting dog problem
Things Done Differently
The "Moon": A Ridiculous Liberal Myth
A general rhetorical refutation of the position "X sucks"
Realizations about reality found after sufficient higher education
The parable of Ernie and Bert and the painting of the cow eating grass
Toothpicks: Harmless tools useful in maintaining dental hygiene, or HORRIBLE, DEADLY WEAPONS!?
Why is it that the alien mortal enemies of humanity always have some fatal flaw?
Shut up, you with your more intelligent arguments
Proof that Baptists cause tornados
Proof by handwaving
All birds are ducks
Oh no! There's not really a section of song parodies, is there?
:Song Parodies:
Well, nuts.
Everything Theme Song
The Everything Open Mic
Them Node Writers
Everything, the filk
Hard Nodin'
I've got a little list
The Pirates Of Everything
I am the very model of a modern E2 editor
It is the very model of a modern E2 chatterbox
I am the very model of a modern teenage Cyberpunk
The US Still Maintains A Military That's Formidable
I am the very model of a Whiny Emo MySpace Whore
I am the very model of a newsgroup personality
I Am the Very Model of a Modern Libertarian
I Am the Very Model of a Modern Vegetarian
The Very Model of an Eliminative Materialist
You may be a noder, but you ain't no dancer
Damn it Feels Bad to be an Angsta
An attempt at Goth gangsta rap
Sympathy for the Downvoter
I Wanna Gain A Level
Open source religion
Shiny Happy Noders
The Country Song
Sixteen Nodes
Upvote Girl
User
Dannye Boy
Be our drone
The Punch Thyself
King of Everything2
Getting to Know You
Old-Time Linguistics
Meet Nate Oostendorp
Never Ignore Chatterbox
A level three noder's lament
Hymn of the Everything Noders
The Let's Just Be Friends Shack
Rant (The Dark Side of the Node)
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeverything2
It's the End of the Node as We Know It
Ereneta, Ereneta (Once Appeared on Baretta)
Chong ching!s Chang 'cause Chang chung! Chong
Nodeshell, give me your answer, do/Daisy Bell/A Bisexual Built for Two
A few of my favorite nodes/One approach to E2/My favorite chings
Who Let the Gophers Out?/Who wants a down vote
The sound of Everything and Sounds of Noding
If you're happy and you know it click this node
Money for Noding/XP For Nothing
the Organic Chemistry Blues
I Want A Fat Babe (a parody)
An E2 Desultory Philippic
Every Node is Sacred
What would EDB do?
Party Like It's 1499
My Name Is Quizro
I saw Mommy kissing EDB
C!hristmas
And, some rhymes!
The Cat in the Hat by William Shakespeare
What if Dr. Seuss taught Japanese rope bondage?
Faust, Part One, as written by Dr. Seuss
The Unpublished Works of Dr. Seuss
If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek
Sun Tzu, in Dr. Seuss's style
Dr. Seussian wedding vows
Dr. Seuss purity test
Pop-ups and spam
dbrown
Not that poetry has to rhyme...
Accidental Discrimination
Haiku error messages
Staple gun haiku
Onion Personals
Dog haiku
Scary, huh? Time to relax with
:Chickens!:
Fowl play
Death and the Chicken
Vegetarian Chicken Soup
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Emotional manipulation of the pet chicken
Cook the Turkey First (The same applies to chickens.)
That was Great! Now for out next category... Wait a minute...
:That was no noder! That was hilarious!:
I like monkeys
Admission essay
Computer Overload
Hamlet for First Grade
The Dead Parrot Sketch
The Evil Overlord list
The Evil Henchman's Guide
How to care for your Godzilla
So You Think You're Computer-Illiterate
Real excerpts from the Queen Mother's Book of Remembrance
Larry Ellison's Commencement Address at Yale University
Friends, Romans, hipsters
Children's recipes
Good Times virus
Pronoun trouble
Well, that's all I got at the moment, but I'll add. /msg me if you have anything to add, either yours or elsewhoms. (This is a collection of medium-to-long writings ment to be funny. Jokes go over in Joke).
And don't forget
:Unfinished Stories:
I recomend
The Smooching Princess
The Happily Single Princess
And
:Ed stories:
Excellent SF stories by Sam512.