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I wanna kick someone's face in.
Or I wannna read the minds of strangers until I find the one guy who wishes someone would hug him, right then, right there, because he's so lonely he could blow apart. Then I want to hug him.
Or get on my bike and ride. On and on and on, dehydrated, lost, until I collapse in a corn field, anywhere.
Or do everything I've ever wanted to accomplish, all at once, in some cathartic burst of energy, and never worry about ambition again.
Or turn off the part of my brain that anticipates negative consequences and fly blind.
Or line up every person who's never met me that I'm trying to impress, in my imagination, and scream at them "FUCK OFF." One after another.
I want no more careful cautious and damage control. No more fucking invisible audience. I want to offend someone and get some real pleasure out of it.
I want to be stupid and selfish, the way that I actually am, but in the open, honest, a narcissim performed. No more implication. Outright assertion.
I do not want to acknowledge the thought and let it go. I do not want the middle way. I want every edge, all of them, all at once.
I want the end of want, the end of wish, the end of "it'd be nice," and "in a different world."
It all ends tomorrow. But tonight?
I want.
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