The Programme
Little Britain is quite possibly the biggest
comedy to hit the UK in recent years. It stars
Matt Lucas and
David Walliams. The programme takes the loose form of a
spoof documentary,
narrated by
Tom Baker of
Doctor Who fame.
The pair have written and starred in “
Sir Bernard’s Stately Home” on BBC 2, two series of
Rock Profile for UK Play and have played many successful shows at the
Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
Little Britain started life on BBC Radio 4, and after a very popular first series moved to television on
BBC Three. It was here that Little Britain lost its cult status and became something that is quoted regularly in general conversation.
The
programme is somewhat like
the fast show in format, a series of non-changing characters with variations on the same joke time after time. While this sounds boring, it is quite captivating.
Vicky
Victoria Pollard is a teenager from the wrong side of the tracks. She was sent to
Borstal after being caught
shoplifting, where she allegedly bit a fellow inmate. After leaving Borstal she became pregnant with many more children (she had previously given birth to “it”, who she traded for a
Westlife CD, a move she later regretted, saying “They’re rubbish”). She has also been attending a College course in reading.
- Yeah, but, no but, etc
- OH MY GOD, I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT!
- Shut up!
- I didn’t even do nuffin, or nuffin
Sebastian Love
Bio
Sebastian is an
aide to the
Prime Minister (
Anthony Head of
Buffy fame), and he obviously has a crush on him. Sebastian acts like a jealous schoolgirl, and his love goes quite unrequited.
Catchphrases
None to mention.
Marjorie Dawes
Bio
Marjorie is the leader of the Fat Fighters group at the local
community centre, where she ridicules the attendees despite being obese herself. She weighs 15 stone 10 pounds (in her
bra).
Catchphrases
- What else is low in fat? Anybody? Dust! Anybody? Dust! Anybody? Dust!
- Who’d want that grinding on top of them all night long?
- Assorted fat jokes
Daffyd Thomas
Bio
A gay man from
Llanddewi Brefi, a small welsh village. He is regularly incensed at the homophobia that surrounds him, and laments his position as the only gay in the village. Unfortunately, he owes his status as a virgin to being so proud of his status of only gay in the village that he doesn’t accept the fact that seemingly everyone else in his village is, in fact, homosexual.
Catchphrases
- Oh Myfanwy, it’s so hard being the only gay in the village!
- I am a gay homosexual. (In response to somebody asking him what his job is).
- I’m the only gay in this village!
Myfanwy is the barmaid at Daffyd’s local pub, usually reacts to Daffyd’s scaring off of other gay men with “You silly
sod Dafydd, you could have got some bumfun!” or similar. Myfanwy, it is revealed at the end of the first series, is herself a lesbian.
Emily Howard
Bio
Born Ernie Howard, this “rubbish transvestite” used to work at the docks, until deciding that it was time to pursue other things. Emily is a lady, and does ladies things. She has admitted, however, to possess testicles (pronounced in a French accent, of course). She is often accompanied by another lady of dubious authenticity.
Catchphrases
- I am a lady, I do lady’s things!
- I am Emily Howard, a lady!
Andy Pipkin
Bio
Lou Todd is his Andy’s carer, he does what he can to help his wheelchair bound friend in his day-to-day life. Lou has yet to realise, however, that Andy is not really disabled, and as soon as he turns his back Andy gets up and walks around. Andy is known for his (in)decisiveness.
Catchphrases
- Yeah, I know!
- I want that one!
- Don’t like it.
Whenever Lou suggests something, Andy points to what he really wants. Lou usually recalls a very
articulate and
erudite thing Andy once said as a reason he wouldn’t want it. “Yeah, I know, I want that one!”. When Andy gets his way, and he always does, he tells Lou how he feels… “Don’t like it!”.
There are many more characters, such as the school teacher who marries an ex-pupil, and continues to treat her like she’s still at school; a man who’s still being breast-fed; a woman who vomits at the thought of anyone other than a straight, white person cooking her food (the
Womens Institute complained about this one); the grammar school teacher; Ann, the resident of a mental health clinic who is more articulate on the phone than in real life (“Eh, eh, eh!”); and many more.
Thanks to:
StrawberryFrog,
Andrew Aguecheek, and
Luddite Android for your suggestions, and
Uri E Bakay for your (mostly constructive) criticism.