savage beating

Marked by the lack of mercy, quarter, or even general rules of fair play, a savage beating can be delivered at any time, but is usually perpetrated by a larger antagonist against a smaller victim.

If you ever find yourself upside down, held by your ankles, whilst your head is bounced upon the icy cobblestones of Main Street, you may be experiencing a savage beating. Other signs include:

• Not waking up. Ever.
• Counting your teeth. On one hand.
• Needing medical attention. Before you can climb onto the stretcher.
• Discovering that your testicles are unharmed. But located several feet from your scrotum.
• Asking for help. From passing dogs, cats, or any living thing that has ears.

Dispensing a savage beating can bring with it severe penalties, including:

• Bruised hands
• Bruised feet
• Bruised head
• Bruised knees
• Bruised elbows
• Bruised baseball bat