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reasons to live alone

created by Katyana

(idea) by Katyana (1.1 d) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Mon Jun 05 2000 at 21:12:10

It is a lot less dangerous to masturbate on the couch
You can take your clothes off as soon as you walk in the door and remain naked until you have to leave again
There are no more poems written about me masturbating too loudly
No one tells me it's my turn to do the dishes
No fights about the silly messages on the answering machine
I don't have to watch Xena Princess Warrior if I don't want to

(idea) by dizzy (2.9 y) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Mon Jun 05 2000 at 21:37:41

One should note the irony present in this fact: The first two writeups in this node are written by myself, dizzy, and Katyana - we are to be married in April, 2001... Yes, two noders who espoused the benefits of the single life are living together (and enjoying it immensely :-)

(thing) by Jamyn (1.3 y) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Fri Jun 16 2000 at 5:59:14

o Getting up to get some milk from the fridge at 2am is not as risky. If she doesn't live there, she cant intercept you on your way and talk for 3 hours about her asshole boyfriend.(1*)

o You dont have to listen to some drawn out story about how your smokes were abducted by aliens, while your roommate takes the last drag off of the last cigarette in your now empty pack, for which you have no money to buy more until payday.(2*)

o Picante sauce and Cheerios is no longer a viable hearty breakfast option, as your food costs have been cut by 98% now that you dont have a roommate.(3*)

o Yes, you can watch that porno DVD with your girlfriend, without looking at your watch worrying about what time your roommate is going to get home.(4*)

o You can eat your soup straight out of the pot if you want. Dont want to have to wash a bowl later? Ya dont have to. Use the spatula you cooked with, and eat straight out of the pot. You just saved yourself from cleaning an extra spoon and bowl. =)(5*)

o You no longer have to worry about your roommate being lonely, and inviting over some friends at 2am to talk - and then you getting up and walking around in a sleep-daze, getting a drink from the kitchen in your boxers and being eyeballed by strangers. (6*)

-------------
(1) My god. Women can TALK. heheh. All I wanted was a damn glass of milk, and I ended up with intricate details about her relationship. aagh. (2) That sucks. Especially when you are totally out of money.. you know, its weird -- if you have money, the urge to go buy some smokes reduces. If you dont have the cash, the desire for a smoke goes up. I think it's some type of inverse mental cruelty. I dont like it. hehe. (3) This was a long time ago. I was like 17, and had a roommate who made as little money as I did. We partied too much. We spent too much money on beer and misc.. heheh. Sometimes we'd be a few days away from payday with almost nothing to eat. I was hungry. It was either dry cereal, or Pace Picante sauce and Cheerios. I tried the Pace. It was ok, but not really something I'm eager to do again. hehe. (4) No comment. (5) Hell yes. You can freakin dunk your HEAD in the soup pot if you want to, and there's nobody to complain. (note: this is not recommended; the ambient temperature of soup still on the stove usually prohibits active head dunking.) (6) I am not prepared to go into detail about this one. Suffice it to say that I got up in the middle of the night to take a leak and get some cool-aid (was thirsty), and only after exiting the kitchen did I see the horde of women in the living room, all silently grinning. Evilly. Damn. hehe. Why do women have this need to call women up for bonding episodes at all hours of the night? I dont understant that. Anyway. (Tip for guys: Silk boxers, black in this case, do little to hide physical attributes below the belt. 'specially if it's half awake down there. heh). I'm not prepared to go into the whole story at this time. Maybe I'll write a node about it later. hehehe.

printable version
chaos

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