| We are always rebelling against where we have
come from, there is always ourselves against them,
the new superceding the old, the improved version
of truth, and we are the ones who have it. For
longer than makes sense, I had a hard time admitting
that my father could ever be wrong. Him being wrong
somehow made me wrong, me being wrong is something
I hate to concede. About halfway through puberty,
or later even, when I was 17 or 18, that's when
I realized he wasn't a god. Oh, I never quite
thought he was perfect. I'd rage against his
absolutism, his firm authority, his always being
right... but it didn't occur to me that this could
actually be wrong. It didn't occur to me to challenge
it, to deny his validity in external forums.
And then the expectations...people just expect things from me. 'She
has her father's propensity for language'... 'If
she's her father's daughter, we're
lucky to have hired her'... 'You remind me of your
father, same concise, well-organized thoughts'.
And these are both good and bad, there is always the
glow followed by crushing realization of pressure.
We all say we will not be like our parents. We
will not have the intolerance, we will not be biased,
we will not be stodgy, authoritative, dictatorial
adults. We will listen objectively and not judge,
we will learn from everything. But yet, I am still
like my father. Instead of being bigoted against
his pariahs, I have my own standards, and there
are things I am irrationally indisposed towards too.
Different things, same reaction. I have a hard time
being wrong, just like my father. I have a low
tolerance for stupidity, and become overbearingly
pretentious when people challenge one of my weak
areas. Haughty disdain can cover insecurity, and in
this I am like my father too. I am quick with dismissal,
like him. I can be fairly rational, and clear, logical.
I have a fondness for words.
I believe in efficient
motion. In the end, it's not what you do, it's
how you do it. And it's not what you believe, it's
who or what you believe it about. We are like our
parents because of genetics and acclimation and
exposure. Because of nature and nurture. The way we
differ is when we define our tolerances, when we
choose our social circles, when we set our
goals. We are still like them, only in different
settings, writing different stories.
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