i'm in ur base kissin ur d00dz
Sir, I'm afraid we've just received this transmission from the rebel leader.
I can't make heads or tails of it, Lieutenant.
Yes, sir. Literacy was never his strong point. But I'm afraid our strategists agree. It appears that the rumors were correct.
Rumors, Lieutenant?
Yes, sir. It appears that he deployed the weapon.
Nonsense. I don't care what he claims, it's ridiculous. It's impossible.
That's what our doctors said too, sir. But we've received no reports from the base since the transmission. No reports of violence, no distress calls. No evidence that there was any fighting whatsoever. General, it appears the weapon was effective.
I won't believe it until there's some evidence, Lieutenant. When will we reach Titan? Once we've established orbit, we can figure out what's really going on.
We should establish orbit momentarily, sir. Technicians are analyzing every bit of evidence we can gather. Our men haven't transmitted anything. At the moment, we're monitoring infrared signals from the station.
And?
We've got a map onscreen, sir. It appears that every duty station has been deserted.
Dear Lord.
It appears that the men have congregated in the launch area, sir. It's the largest open space on the base.
Zoom in, Lieutenant. Maybe we can tell what they're doing.
Aye, sir. But I think the evidence is unequivocal. Here's a closer view.
Sweet mother of God, Lieutenant. It's obscene!
Yes, sir. I'm sorry.
Look at them. Rainbow-colored. All over each other. It's disgusting.
The coloration is the result of the infrared mapping, sir.
It's true. He deployed the lavender ray. Dammit, Lieutenant! They told me it was impossible!
Yes, sir. We didn't believe it until now.
I - I - I still hardly believe it, Lieutenant. I - my - my career is over, isn't it?
I'm sorry you have to see me like this, Lieutenant. It's just . . . this was my first command. I can't believe my first real post, and it's ended like - like this. I - I - I'll never be able to show my face again.
I'm so sorry, sir. Is there anything I can do? Anything at all?
Just - just hold me, Lieutenant. Just hold me for awhile.
Aye, sir.
He tentatively approached the General, and watched the man rise from his chair. The held each other close, and slowly sank down to the floor, where the Lieutenant cradled the General's head in his lap.
He slowly stroked the General's body. The Lieutenant had never appreciated the difference between a man's body and a woman's. The General's body was still lean and athletic, even though grey hair covered his head. The contours of the General's body were subtler, less round but more solid than a woman.
They spent the rest of the night in each other's arms on the floor of the General's office.
Sir? Is it just me, or is everything in here sort of . . . lavender?
The General looked upwards, and slowly sat up, as he looked around, blinking. I'd really call it more of a lilac, Lieutenant.
The Lieutenant took a slow breath of the General's subtle scent. Tobacco, aftershave, perhaps a hint of whiskey, and the sweat from their night together. Yes, sir. | 
