Friendship is always a form of love.
The difference between the love of an acquaintance, the love of a good friend, the love of a best friend, the love of a spouse and the love of a good god (whichever) is in the amount of one's own wrongdoing they are willing to endure without taking their love away.
Endurance means to accept others' wrongdoing as thoughtlessness or miscomprehension, without blaming it on antipathy or cruelty, believing that it does not come from the core of their personality but from its surface. The core cannot be seen. Only the traffic through the surface can be experienced and accessed. What happens underneath one can only believe in.
To be friends means to love. To love means to endure. To endure means to believe in the other.
To be friends also means knowing the threshold of endurance, and to abandon the other when it is crossed.
To love from the heart means to put the threshold as high as humanly possible.
No human being can love perfectly. Only a being who cannot take any damage and who cannot feel any pain can.
This should be a treat for the (live nude?) amateur theologists.
True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable. -- Dave Tyson Gentry A friend that ain't in need is a friend indeed. -- Frank McKinney Hubbard ("Kin Hubbard") You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job. -- Laurence J. Peter Friendship is an arrangement by which we undertake to exchange small favors for big ones. -- Baron de Montesquieu (1689-1755) I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -- you see, I have friends in both places. -- Mark Twain Friendship among women is only a suspension of hostilities. -- Comte de Rivarol (1753-1801) A woman is never quite so old as her dearest friend says she is. -- Dr Laurence J. Peter He's the kind of man who picks his friends -- to pieces. -- Mae West With friends such as these, who needs enemies? -- Author unknown. Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better. -- Ed Howe Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other. -- Honoré de Balzac (1799-1850) Mighty proud I am that I am able to have a spare bed for my friends. -- Samuel Pepys (1632-1703) There are no strangers here -- only friends we have not met. -- Author unkknown. Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood. -- Louise Beal It is more shameful to distrust our friends than to be deceived by them. -- Duo de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) Platonic friendship: The interval between the introduction and the first kiss. -- Sophie Irene Loeb Love demands infinitely less than friendship. -- George Jean Nathan The truth that is supressed by friends is the readiest weapon of the enemy. -- Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894) A true friend will see you through when others see that you are through. -- Author unknown We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for ours to amuse them. -- Evelyn Waugh One friend in a lifetime is much; two are many; three are hardly possible -- Henry Adams There are three kinds of friends: best friends, guest friends and pest friends. -- Author unknown Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead. -- Chinese Proverb True friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it be lost. -- Charles Caleb Colton (1780-1832) Friendships, like marriages, are dependant on avoiding the unforgivable. -- John D. MacDonald Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth. -- Horace Walpole (1717-1797) To find a friend one must close one eye -- to keep him, two. -- Norman Douglas One's friends are that part of the human race with which one can be human. -- George Santayana In politics . . . shared hatreds are almost always the basis of friendships. -- Alexis de Tocqueville (1805-1859) There is no stronger bond of friendship than a mutual enemy. -- Frankfort Moore If we were all given by magic the power to read each other's thoughts, I suppose the first effect would be to dissolve all friendships. -- Bertrand Russell If all men knew what each said of the other, there would not be four friends in the world. -- Blaise Pascal (1623-1662) Against a foe I can myself defend, -- But Heaven protect me from a blundering friend! -- D'Aarcy W. Thompson The essence of true friendship is to make allowance for another's little lapses. -- David Storey If we all said to people's faces what we say behind one another's backs, society would be impossible. -- Honoré de Balzac (1799-1850), He is a fine friend. He stabs you in the front. -- Leonard Louis Levinson
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives."He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.
He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends.
He said yes. We hung all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.
I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.
When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.
Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!"
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled."Thanks," he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize its depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life with friendship.
Source: Anon.
Life will take us on separate paths, and I will only walk with you a short while together. I hope that our times together will be well spent and full of laughter. But thinking about my life with no you makes me sad.
In a blink of an eye, time will flow by, never reversing. Before we both know it, we won't even remember each others' faces.
I will attempt to classify them here according to the experiences I have gained through my, until now, relatively short life. As suggested by a fellow noder, I will also try to accompany each "class" with some appropriate examples.
This kind of friendship is probably the most frequent in existence all throughout your life. At several times will you meet someone new, strike up a conversation of sorts only to realize that you have very little in common. Obviously this can hardly be classified as a friendship. However, this type of encounter is at least metaphorically close to meeting someone, inviting them over, and then deciding that never seeing them again would be too soon. Again, this is a harsh exaggeration and rarely have I myself experienced this kind of friendship. Whether you are on the receiving or dispensing end of the brush off, is relatively irrelevant. Fact is that hardly any kind of emotional bond arises from such a short encounter, and if it does, then it is likely based on a pre-existing infatuation from one of the involved parties. As such, being the person who is brushed off is of course not a comfortable thing, but not soul-crushing either.
Example: Coming up with examples in this particular category can be tricky, because in my opinion, temporary friendships are rarely memorable. And if they are then often I wish to forget them because I was the one who found myself uncomfortable within it. I do however remember one particlar person in school which I had a very rough time of avoiding. To set things straight, I never actively avoided the person or hid from him, but if I were to spot him before he spotted me I often contemplated the reason for me being wherever I was and if there was still a reason to be there. He was all-in-all a friendly guy, but he simply couldn't talk about anything except this one game. I'm probably also to blame for not trying hard enough to steer the conversation a certain way or not having the heart to tell him that he was becomming annoying with this particular topic. I wonder whatever happened to him...
This is almost my personal favorite as I've been exposed to this friendship to quite a degree. It's the kind of friendship where one of the participants is unaware or in denial concerning the actual degree of friendship involved. This kind of friendship often evolves from surroundings where both parties often meet due to some circumstance unrelated to the friendship. A good example is either some kind of academic surrounding (school or university for example), work or even physical activity (soccer practice etc.).
As opposed to the previous described friendship, being of either side of the friendship is very relevant. One party is involved as far as talking, sharing and otherwise interacting with the other party without any real intention of furthering the friendship (let's call this party B). The other party is equally involved but with an interest in furthering it (party A). This is the deciding factor between being on either end of the friendship.
A tell tale sign of this is one of the parties involved arranging social engagements where the other is not invited or even informed. The scariest thing about this kind of friendship is that it can evolve so far that party A becomes very aware of social gatherings - even discussed right in front of their nose - and still not being invited. Of course, the more this continues the less awkward it becomes for party B. But of course, by this time party A is well enough into denial about the state of the friendship that party A probably doesn't even care. The point is that party B doesn't dislike party A as they can get along well, but there is no interest at all to continue the pleasantries outside the circumstance they normally meet in. Personally I detest being in this kind of friendship even though I am fully aware of it. Not because Party B is malicious in any way. I personally know lot's of people I like but have no further interest in. I suppose it concerns the feeling of being fooled and no doubt my personal experience relating to this kind of friendship.
Example: Practically every "friend" I had in a two year period in school falls under this category. People I thought I got along great with and enjoyed talking to. But no - whenever anything outside school was organized which wasn't organized by the school I was "oddly" enough never invited. I partially blame myself for not prodding enough which might have helped. Anyway - I still often see these people at reunions, and still enjoy talking to them, but beneath the surface I always remember how things were. Nevertheless - I hold no spite against them as such stuff will bring you nowhere. The "friends" I'm talking about ranged all the way from the jock-type people, to average students and even social outcasts. I'll never forget that in my attempt to befriend and socialize a (let's say) "socially challenged" individual I only found myself "backstabbed" in his hopes of gaining a little recognition.
The key difference between this and the former friendship is that both parties exhibit at least some amount of interest in furthering the friendship. Be it just inviting the other party over or occasionally calling the other party on the phone. Again, the extent of involvement exhibited by both parties can vary a lot, but some amount must exist in my opinion to call it a casual friendship.
Example: Now we're getting to the good stuff. A lot of my casual friendships go hand in hand with permanent ones. I am thinking of a few particular people I also met in school who I really enjoy being with yet never really open up or seem to listen to "reason" concerning various issues. This one guy I at first found to be not shy, but still not very outward. Yet - he has a lot of admirable qualities. He's friendly and kind, but he isn't great at taking care of himself and seems to refuse to listen to any advice concerning it. Nevertheless - I really like him and that's what counts.
I have no real label for this friendship so I decided to call it permanent even though that is "wrong" in my opinion. But it was either that or call it an intimate friendship which is also believe to be "wrong". The important point to be made concerning this friendship is that it's a friendship that extends beyond casual limits. A friendship that doesn't rely on the convenience of temporary surroundings, such as living close or often seeing each other due to various circumstances. In my opinion a deeper understanding of either each other or of a specific topic is also a common theme within this kind of friendship, or perhaps an unspoken bond. The parties involved do not necessarily need to share feelings or other intimate details for this kind of friendship to evolve but it's much more likely to happen in this kind of friendship in my opinion.
Example: One particularly springs to mind here. I first met this guy during a social gathering at a friend. He also wasn't shy but again not very outward. My brother seemed to talk more with him than me and I honestly didn't pay a great deal of attention to him. Then, a few years have passed and due to various circumstances he starts attending the same school as me. Oddly enough our friendship had a sort of rocky start with him holding a social event and again me not being invited. However, soon afterwards we grew very close, driving to school together, hanging out almost all the time and talking a lot about more themes that I can remember. We now live far apart and only speak every couple of months, but even so - I still feel like I am on exactly the same wavelength as I always was with this guy... And it makes me smile...
Each friendship can easily falter. I have a few friends abroad that I highly appreciate, but I do not converse with them on a regular basis unless I come close by or there is a special occasion. I do not feel I've become less friends with these people and I of course want to keep them as friends, but on the other hand I'd rather invest my time and effort to make new friends and keep them where I am now instead of artificially keeping distant ones alive. I guess what I'm trying to say is I doubt I can keep me and my friends from growing apart just by calling or writing to them on a regular basis. If we grow apart then that's fate and we'll either find a new common ground or rarely speak again.
Friendship is a form of love, in so much as it contains many, if not all, of the good characteristics of an intimate romantic relationship, but does away with many of the bad ones. If two close friends engage in conflict, in most cases, there will have had to have been a catalyst that activated the fight, which, in many cases, is a shared object of desire; and thus, the fight can be attributed to love, be it of objects/material wealth, or another individual. Whereas two individuals in an intimate relationship tend to be critical or suspicious of one another's behavior (perhaps a call back to the desire to "own" the object of your love), this, in turn, leads to conflict and confrontation; the ever famous Lover's Quarrel. Friendship does away with the desire to "own" the object of your affection, this might bring forth the question as to whether an intimate love relationship between two individuals could be strengthened if both partners approached the relationship as a friendship relationship before considering it as a romantic relationship.
Regardless, Having seen that friendship does in fact do away with the desire to "own" the object of your affection, then that does away with jealousy. One doesn't say that they "own" their friends, that would be seen as strange, and rightly so, in my opinion. This calls up the question as to why romantic love must exist at all, and whether or not it would be better to take no lovers, only friends.
The argument against this of course is that everyone is compelled to find a single other individual to give their love to exclusively, at least for a while. During evolution, children would only need to be raised by a nuclear family until the age of 3-5, when the care can pass on to the larger family group, this explains why powerful love between two in
