emergency knickers

created by heyoka

(thing) by heyoka (1.6 wk) (print) ? (I like it!) 1 C! Tue Sep 05 2000 at 11:03:01

You haven't done your washing in a while. All the fabulous lacy numbers, all the nifty little matching sets that go with your best bras, all the plain black knickers that really fit you are in the laundry basket.

It's time for the emergency knickers: the ones that sit at the back of the drawer, lost and unloved; the ones with sagging elastic, faded colours, maybe even a couple of holes. They are the ones you didn't throw out when you lost or gained weight. They are guaranteed passion-killers.

They are the ones that you pray you are not wearing when you are run over by an ambulance, or when you get lucky.

It's up to you: want to get caught with emergency knickers on, or with no knickers on?

(idea) by girlotron (2.4 y) (print) ? (I like it!) Tue Sep 05 2000 at 11:27:19

The British cartoonist Annie Lawson did a hilarious postcard about knickers, describing the three types: emergency knickers, everyday work knickers and Best Knickers. At the bottom it said:

"Visualisation exercise:
ONE DAY EVERY DAY WILL BE A 'BEST KNICKERS' DAY!
I will own a drawerful of gleaming knickers!
THIS WILL SEEM NORMAL!"

(thing) by s_alanet (2.6 y) (print) ? (I like it!) Wed Sep 13 2000 at 23:01:27

Men wear knickers, too.

To the fencers among us, emergency knickers are those old, nasty knickers you keep in your fencing bag Just In Case. (Or, as is more common, because you never got around to taking them out when you got new ones...)

In case of what, I always wonder, because such knickers are inevitably not only unwearable, but quite possibly self-contained ecosystems in their own right.

(thing) by Mikey G (7.2 y) (print) ? (I like it!) Tue Jan 09 2001 at 1:34:54

Maybe the emergency knickers can act as an incentive to get lucky that night. As a metaphorical two-finger salute to the god that may be determining your success in life, you should be of the opinion that scoring while wearing crap pants is better than not scoring while wearing special underwear. Anyway, you can always scoot off to the bathroom, remove them and pretend you were going without if they're really that terrible.

printable version
chaos

Renaissance is for sissies, real men wear armor	You can tell what state a relationship is in by the type of underwear the girl is wearing	Period Pants	nookie knickers
knickers	DSL is like heroin	How to kill, cook and eat a rat	fur coat, no knickers
Schnell & Sauber	two-finger salute	granny panties	Do fat men get fat dicks?
panties	They couldn't install the DSL.	Liar, liar, pants on fire	run it up the flagpole and see who salutes
three-finger salute	What happens when you wear your contact lenses for too long?	fencer	Fighting panties
knickers in a twist	we who are about to die salute you	Phat pants	Verizon Online

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