eMachines

While the hardware may not be state-of-the-art, the eMachine computers are a great deal for computer newbies or people (like myself) who want a second computer but aren't ready to spend a lot. Early on, the biggest drawback of the low-end models is that there are only 2 PCI slots and 1 ISA slot, and no AGP; but the newer models all provide an AGP slot (so you can actually use the system for gaming), a CD burner, a NIC, a modem, and at least 3 PCI slots and 6 USB ports.

The bottom line is that for someone who just wants a computer for web browsing, there's almost no reason to pay more than $400. It remains to be seen whether eMachines can make a profit and survive long-term, but for now it's a hard deal to beat.

I suppose if you're an Everything2 user you've already purchased a computer so this node is either irritating you because you already have an Emachine or you find it completely useless. Fortunately I've read an article reminding me, SuperstarSteve himself, about capitalization while spelling capitalization with an s the entire time. That gives me the right to node whatever I please. Now that we've established the utter pointlessness of this node, let's press onward into my sermon...

Buying an Emachine is like paying fifteen hundred dollars for a giant migraine. It runs on what would probably be equivalent to a Pentium -4 Processor. Even as I'm typing this node I don't see what I've typed right away. I have to wait a few moments for it to appear on the screen because the Emachine takes a few minutes to make toast prior to acknowledging what I'm doing. And simply to add insult to injury, Eddy my Emachine refuses to share the aforementioned toast with anyone but our printer. Unfortunately for Eddy the printer is Harmony, a Hewlett-Packard so she just ignores him. Eddy of course throws himself into a fit of rage and demolishes half of my mp3 files without a trace. Goodbye Harvey Danger, Right Said Fred, New Radicals and the others, you'll be missed. Take a moment of silence for our mourned, if you would.

...............

Alright, let's move onward. Next we'll talk about the hordes of space the computer has. Oh wait, I have three gigabytes. I guess there's literally NOT THAT MUCH TO TALK ABOUT! I know, I'll tell you about the noise. One time when I was roughly nine years of age I went to the N.E.W. Zoo. It was a fairly small and highly unexciting zoo (unexciting other than the lice-eating monkeys whom we all find just a bit amusing) but it houses one of my childhood's most vivid memories. Everywhere in the zoo you could here this noise. This god-awful, make-your-ears-bleed, armageddon-on-its-way, rather-have-my-nipples-shaved-off noise engulfed the entire place. I finally asked one of the workers what it was and they said it was a mule in labor. Eddy feels the need to recreate that noise for me everytime I sign online. If you're having trouble imagine what it sounds like go throw a Myna Bird with whooping cough down the garbage disposal and that will allow you to IMAGINE what an Emachine sounds like.

I don't even have the energy to touch on the rest of Eddy's ailments. From actually attempting to contract viruses to not allowing me to access my own Control Panel on days that end in y, he's quite the pain. On the other hand, without him there'd be no Everything2. Perhaps it evens out in the end.

Dixons Group now have a partnership with eMachines in Europe, to manufacture and supply PCs through their UK and European operations. These machines are also tested and approved by Dixons themselves through their own product evaluation department at PC ServiceCall. Because of this, quality control is considerably better, as Dixons have a say in the design features and build components.

The outcome of this is that even the tech support people at PC ServiceCall feel good about these machines, as most problems are easily resolved over the phone. The few issues there are can be put down to user error or software problems, and hardware problems are certainly no higher than with say, Compaq. I can state this with some confidence, as I work as a trainer for PCSC, and obviously, train people using their machines.