Everything2
Near Matches
Ignore Exact
Full Text
Everything2

disagree without being disagreeable

created by xunker

(idea) by xunker (3.2 mon) (print)   ?   (I like it!) Fri Dec 21 2001 at 17:29:55

The idea of having a differing viewpoint our pointing out an error without having the intent thereof spill over into any other aspect of the interchange, and to take a forensic approach (where you open yourself to the possibility of being incorrect) as opposed to an argumentative one (where you maintain correctness regardless of facts at hand). Much in the same vein as "agree to disagree", but without implying the end of the exchange.

Okay, you want it in English? Let the X-man get to the 'splaining.

Disagreeing without being disagreeable means that you are allowed to not agree with the person you're talking, but your differing viewpoint do not reflect on the otherwise connection you have. It's an agreement to limit the scope of rebuttal to a clearly defined arena, e.g. the topic at hand, and not resorting to personal attacks and attempted character assassination.

Example of how not to accomplish this, taken from an actual (anonymous) Slashdot comment thread:

I can't believe how stupid you are. What an incredibly asinine position to take.

This is supremely bad because it gives nothing new, but instead is simply at attack on the person, erm, personally. This is the wrong way of doing it as it is generally assumed that the moment you resort to attacks outside the scope of the subject, you admit to not having a good rebuttal (as outlined in Basic Debate by Leslie Phillips).

The emphasis here is, as has been stated before, to have debate over a simple pissing contest. When you're having an argument, you are trying to prove you are right. In debate you are trying to come to a common absolute ground by an even exchange. Nothing was ever solved by people shouting at one another; just look at divorce.

The point of this sort of procatice is to keep the battle on the battlefield and to be able to look the other person in the eye without any sort of contempt after your discussion is concluded.


printable version
chaos

If you have to scream to be heard, you have nothing profound to say Pissing contest Pleasantly displeased forensic
character assassination It would have been an excellent story but I had to get off the train How to lie with statistics ad hominem
reputation Birdman deva March 22, 2003
Finally fucked Death self-righteous Battle Royale
Engineering Details of the 'slaughter of innocents' in Afghanistan agree to disagree August 19, 2003 SharePoint Portal Server 2001
Y'know, if you log in, you can write something here, or contact authors directly on the site. Create a New User if you don't already have an account.
  Epicenter
Login
Password

password reminder
register

Everything2 Help

Cool Staff Picks
What you are reading:
The Lofoten Maelstrom
God is Dead
Sierpinski triangle
Arizona
Walk behind a woman
The Poet
Scotch egg
colcannon
E Train
kin altruism
Our sensei
How to calculate the day of the week for a given date
M.U.L.E.
New Writeups
Simulacron3
Reality, Dimensions and the Natural Ontology(essay)
SubSane
Making Love to a 9-Foot Woman(person)
Ouzo
Thoughts(idea)
antigravpussy
I fall silent, listening. The breadcrumbs are talking about us(person)
calgon
Buffalo Bill by the pool(poetry)
gate
Anarchy is Order(idea)
ushdfgakjasgh
Scribeling(thing)
XWiz
Trism(review)
artman2003
Briefcase Full of Souls - Part I(fiction)
Dreamvirus
Alan Ladd(person)
waverider37
Harold Holt(person)
The Debutante
Until death do us part(fiction)
Ysardo
a brother to a sister(personal)
antigravpussy
your warm whispers(personal)
Clarke
Multiculturalism(idea)
This affordable entertainment brought to you by The Everything Development Company