Everything2
Near Matches
Ignore Exact
Full Text
Everything2

Why women are the root of all evil

created by Nymph- o

(idea) by Nymph- o (6.1 mon) (print)   ?   (I like it!) Sat Sep 16 2000 at 19:57:55

Her name is Pandora.
And she has a jar.

-Because of Prometheus stole fire - Zeus thought of the ultimate punishment...

Woman.

Zeus, angered in his heart, hid the means of human livelihood because wily Prometheus deceived him. And so he devised for human beings sorrowful troubles. He hid fire. Then the good son of Iapetus, Prometheus, stole it for human beings from wise Zeus in a hollow reed, without Zeus who delights in thunder seeing it.

But then Zeus the cloud-gatherer was roused to anger and spoke to him: " Son of Iapetus, who know how to scheme better than all others, you are pleased that you stole fire and outwitted me-a great misery for you and men who are about to be. As recompense for the fire I shall give them an evil in which all may take delight in their hearts as they embrace it."

Thus he spoke and the father of the gods and men burst out laughing. He ordered renowned Hephaestus as quickly as possible to mix earth with water and to implant in it a human voice and strength and to fashion the beautiful and desirable form of a maiden, with a face like that of an immortal goddess. But he ordered Athena to teach her the skills of weaving at the artful loom, and golden Aphrodite to shed grace about her head and painful longing and sorrows that permeate the body. And he commanded the guide Hermes, slayer of Argus, to put in her them mind of a bitch and the character of a thief.

...But when the Father had completed this sheer impossible trick he sent the swift messenger of the gods, the renowned slayer of Argus, to bring it as the gift for Epimetheus. And Epimetheus did not think about how Prometheus had told him never to accept a gift from Olympian Zeus but to send it back in case that in some way it turned out to be evil for mortals. But he received the gift and when indeed he had the evil he realized.

Previously the races of human beings used to live completely free from evils and hard work and painful diseases, which hand over mortals to the Fates. For mortals soon grow old amidst evil. But the woman removed the great cover of the jar with her hands and scattered the evils within and for mortals devised sorrowful troubles.

Hope alone remained within there in the unbreakable home under the edge of the jar and did not fly out of doors. For the lid of the jar stopped her before she could, through the will of the cloud-gatherer Zeus who bears the aegis. But the other thousands of sorrows wander among human beings, for the earth and the sea are full of evils. Of their own accord diseases roam among human beings some by day, others by night bringing evils to mortals in silence, since Zeus in his wisdom took away their voice. Thus it is not at all possible to escape the will of Zeus.

-Hesiod
Works and Days(47-105) translated in Classical Mythology
Mark Morford/Robert Lenardon


(idea) by little lost star (1.5 y) (print)   ?   (I like it!) Sat Sep 16 2000 at 20:28:56

If you look at Greek Mythology more closely, you will see that the Gods (namely, Zeus, A GUY) instilled Pandora with an insatiable curiosity. Which means that a guy is truly the root of all evil. And one more thing, Pandora was the punishment for Prometheus, who was also a guy.

Oh, and for you Christians out there, who's rib was Eve made from?


printable version
chaos

The square root of All Evil Cain's wife Women are evil Trench Coat Philosophy
All men are rapists How I nearly killed myself masturbating The problem with looking for patterns in pi The love of money is the root of all evil
Go-faster stripes If the only sexual organ you have is a penis then everything looks like a vagina Pandora Watching my mother die
Mandelstahm's proof of the existence of God INTJ the optimizer is your friend Ugly Americans
surprise paradox Hermes Prometheus The Women
faggot sex Ace of Base Taliban
No more writeups are being accepted for this node. If you feel you have something to add to this node, post it on your Scratch Pad and contact an editor.
  Epicenter
Login
Password

password reminder
register

Everything2 Help

Cool Staff Picks
The best nodes of all time:
Speed chess, confessions of a positional player
Hinduism
Bush v. Gore
Try cock
Duty-Vans-a-Go-Go
Dime store
Occam's Razor
Lucifer
1001 Ways to Beat the Draft
Recommended reading
Why the Borg have such terrible fashion sense
Cathedral of St. John the Divine
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
New Writeups
Nadine_2
The Sound Of Madness(review)
Twin Eclipse
Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue(idea)
SwimmingMonkey
Conversations with Fo Fo- the Loneliest dog in Purgatory(fiction)
locke baron
lynx(thing)
Simulacron3
Reality, Dimensions and the Natural Ontology(essay)
SubSane
Making Love to a 9-Foot Woman(person)
Ouzo
Thoughts(idea)
antigravpussy
I fall silent, listening. The breadcrumbs are talking about us(person)
calgon
Buffalo Bill by the pool(poetry)
gate
Anarchy is Order(idea)
ushdfgakjasgh
Scribeling(thing)
XWiz
Trism(review)
artman2003
Briefcase Full of Souls - Part I(fiction)
Dreamvirus
Alan Ladd(person)
waverider37
Harold Holt(person)
This affordable entertainment brought to you by The Everything Development Company