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Why is it we desire that which we can never attain?

created by ril

(idea) by ril (7.7 mon) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Tue Oct 10 2000 at 6:22:35

This is a question that has dwelled on my mind often. Why is it that we desire things at all? That we're constantly trying to reach just a little further, to buy that nicer car, that nicer house, or to even read that next book. Why are we always striving for better, never happy in the place we are, never content? I suppose that's what makes us human in the first place, the desire for more, that unsatisfiable craving. It's that craving that can describe every one of our actions - why most people can't live their lives begging for their next meals because the idea of the little house on the beach is too tempting. Without these desires, would we even advance intellectually and technologically? Probably not.

Put those desires into our relationships, though, and I become confused. We all have this desire to find that one true love, right? That person who is exactly what we always wanted but never knew, that person who makes feelings surface that we weren't even aware were there. Our past and present literature focuses primarily on this thing called love, but more specifically, on finding love, unrequited love, and the loss of love. Stories are rare and far between that focus on love itself, the love that occurs after being with somebody for years. And even if it does focus on that kind of "love", it certainly isn't as popular. Why is that?

It's the chase we like. It's that crazy lust that drives us mad, drives us to extremes such as writing horribly bad poetry. It's being mesmerized by a person's lips wondering what they would feel like against yours. It's those life shattering moments when the person you're infatuated with is there standing across the room, kissing another girl, and you're sure the world just exploded and your heart is going to stop.

I'm not sure if I am explaining this right or if I have even touched the subject I was attempting to, but I see these things all around me. Desiring and wanting people who we know we will never have, and if we do have them, it never lasts. Forever? Does anything last forever, and can it ever be what we dream of it, or is the dream itself all we'll ever achieve? Why is it we desire that which we can never attain?

(idea) by Rancid_Pickle (5.4 d) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Tue Oct 10 2000 at 7:05:49

I believe that we desire others from a sense of mystery. Ril notes this in her originating node, where she wonders what a person's lips would feel like pressed against hers. When the mystery or illusion is disturbed, the magic is gone and we feel a sense of loss.

Sometimes desiring is actually better than having. You can have a desire for a beautiful woman you've never met (such as a movie star, singer, etc.) without the intrusions of everyday life pecking away at the magical facade we've erected for our own pleasures. I think that a guy who desires Pamela Anderson, for example, isn't thinking of her wearing an old flannel bathrobe picking up the trash that the dog just knocked over. He's thinking of the mystery he's built around her, what it would feel like to hold her, and more.

I've been married to a woman I desired in high school. We were close friends, but we never went out. I built up a huge dreamscape for us to live in inside my cranium, as is the way with oversexed teens; but it was more than sex. We ended up getting together years later, and in my case the desire I built up was nothing compared to the reality. I was lucky, and she's still the woman I desire most, followed by Milla Jovovich.

The desire is what keeps us young.


printable version
chaos

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