Disclaimer: Beware, very sappy, emotional writing will follow, for those of you not in touch with this, I'm sorry, move on now.
We all get to that point in our lives where its time to reassess our goals. I have 14 days of classes left and then I'm a college graduate, so if the time hasn't already passed then it sure has come.
So I ask myself "What do I want from life?"
The answer comes as quickly as it always has. Never do I hesitate, nothing has been added or removed in longer than I can remember. Everything else I could ever want, need, or have pales in comparison. But today, 2:15 in the morning, after a completely uneventful day, the details suddenly strike me head on. I had to get out of bed and to this computer to get it out (so beware of my ramblings).
As always the answer is, was, and will be that I want a family and always attached to that, even though I hate that it has to be a thought, is that I want to be able to support this family in a life style equal or better to what I've had.
This isn't too much to ask for, is it? It's funny that I only know one other person who shares this goal. People awash in their monetary goals and wants to travel and on and on. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to have all the things that everyone strives for, but it all comes in a far second to this.
To me this has always seemed like a very vague and foggy goal to strive for, but as I was lying in bed and the vale of mist was lifted from my eyes. What's coming next is going to sound like the most sappy, disgusting, ridiculous crap ever, but let me tell you, its 100% the truth for better of worse from anyone's point of view.
And here it is: I was about to list for you the qualities of the wife and family that have become clear to me, but these are just my opinions and you can form your own. Lets set aside the attractive (to me not to society), funny, able to always talk to, tell the truth to, speak your mind to, blah, blah, blah, stuff and get right down to what you (not just me, don't kid yourself) really need. Everyone needs some one they can cry with. I can't think of anything that is a better sign of how close you are with someone.
First off, FUCK men don't cry. The most moving, powerful thing I have ever seen was my Father and Uncle crying. Nothing compares to that. Second, crying is a wonderful thing. It, laughing and extreme physical exertion are the three best stress reliefs in the world. Also, there is nothing better to show how you are feeling.
As I read back through this I
- can't believe I just wrote this.
- refuse to change one word of it.
- can just think about how this will be taken by you the reader.
- notice the number of spelling errors I have to fix.
- hope some of you feel the same way I do.
- wonder why I didn't just type this for myself; locally.
- wonder, ultimately, what I'm going to do about all this.
Good night all and I hope that you all get what you want from life.
|
